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slides  into  this  blog  like  a  damn  zombie

hewwo  i  am  thinking  abt  remaking  (   literally  all  my  blogs   )  bc  the  tags  are  so  cluttered  here?  and  i  think  a  fresh  start  will  make  things  a  lot  better  for  me.  so  yeah  i’ll  promo  meself  when  they’re  done  but  in  the  mean  time  hmu  on  dsc  so  we  can  plot?  maybe?  i  know  i  disappear  so  much  and  i’m  sorry  i  just  get  overwhelmed  easily  noeigmsg  

ily

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HI I AM…  not back but i just wanted to post an update so all of you know.  i haven’t really been well mentally.  i’ve been struggling with anxiety and depression for quite some time and it’s just been brutal.  i’m really more active on d.iscord than anything.  ( i change my username too much: relaxing bird#7063 ) even there though i’m really spacey with communicating.  things have been looking up though,  so i will be back eventually.  i still absolutely love these children and i could not abandon them for the life of me.  i’m just struggling.  i hope y’all understand.  and i hope y’all are havin’ great ass days.  love you guys 

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today  u  were  born  so  happy  birthday!

hey  may,  my  cherub  friend  may,  my  good  fellow  may.   from  what  i  know  you  have  had  a  good  day  today  and  sincerely,  that’s  what  you  deserve.   i  hope  you  have  many  more  to  follow  and  that  you  can  be  content  again.   even  then,  some  days  i  think  you  are  or  are  simply  having  a  better  day,  and  that  makes  me  happy  to  know.   your  well  being  has  always  mattered  to  me  and  nowadays  it’s  been  no  less.   i’ve  known  you  for  Just  About  a  year  now,  coming  up  four  days  after  today,  and  really  i  can’t  fathom  that  it’s  been  that  long.   a  lot  has  happened  between  us,  with  some  ups  and  downs  but  those  are  okay.   you  are  still  one  of  my  closest  friends  and  i  can’t  stress  enough  how  worthwhile  and  valuable  this  friendship  has  been

i  guess  to  start  off  i  want  you  to  know  how  proud  of  you  i  am,  truly.   i  probably  say  that  too  often  anyway  but  for  as  long  as  i’ve  known  you,  the  progress  you’ve  made  has  been  incredible.   and  i  know  you  have  days  where  things  are  stagnant  or  regress  but  that  doesn’t  redefine  the  steps  you’ve  made  and  what  you’re  doing  now  to  better  yourself.   all  of  that  takes  persistence  i  think,  and  you  have  a  good  handle  on  that,  i  know  you  do.   you  might  doubt  yourself  or  find  some  things  hard  to  swallow  and  acknowledge,  but  i  insist.   i  also  think  that’s  something  i  look  up  to  you  with.   your  emotional  intelligence  goes  far  and  your  words  do  resonate  with  me.   you  being  a  close  friend  of  mine  probably  plays  a  role  there  too,  aka  i  trust  you  and  your  goodness  as  a  person  because  you  Are  good  and  committed  and  earnest,  whatever  else.   typing  that  made  me  think  of  the  activia  yogurt  stuff  for  a  moment,  couldn’t  tell  u  why  

and  on  another  note,  you  really  are  talented,  you  know.   i  mean  this  as  sincerely  as  i  do  when  i’m  not  being  comprehensible  on  discord.   the  care  and  time  you  have  put  forth  toward  developing  All  of  your  muses  (  a  scary  amount  tbh  u  have  a  lot  )  really  makes  me  step  back  and  be  thoughtful  sometimes.   somehow  you  manage  all  of  them  and  shed  enough  characterization  on  each  and  every  one  to  make  them  human.   then  you  illustrate  all  that  through  your  writing  and  it’s  really  a  wonderful  thing  okay.   i  think  i’m  going  to  leave  this  here  now,  though.   i  could  express  myself  more  but  knowing  myself  i’d  go  on  tangents  and  tangents.   know  that  i  love  u  and  think  ur  raaaaa  cool

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rises from the dead sorta

aaa i’ve been gone lately since my muse has dropped but i’ll be back. i feel like these are the only posts i make lately gdsklgsd;g ??? but i promise i’m not ditching! just wanted to check in and say ily and hope ur all well and if ya wanna talk to me you can catch me here:

(just tell me who u r)

anyways imma poof back onto d.isc and work on building up my muse again ??? idk how to do that but o well i’ll still be back dw

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RULES: answer the questions & tag 21 people.

TAGGED BY: @astarborn

TAGGING: uhh 21 of the ppl on the dash rn there ya go

name: may.

zodiac sign: taurus.

favorite food: aaaaaa sushi???? idk.

favorite season: winter or fall cuz i can wear my fav sweaters.

jeans or shorts: jeans i never shave oop.

where are you from: a fun lil desert in sw america.

last book you read: alice in wonderland & thru the looking glass.

favorite movie: so many... but imma stick with one flew over the cuckoo’s nest i think. and the lovely bones but i only watch that when i have the energy to cry.

dream vacation: sweet, sweet death.

natural hair color: brown.

height: 5'2.

introvert or extrovert: introvert.

tea or coffee: both ????

do you work out regularly: no oop... i just let my depression/anxiety take care of my diet lmfao

favorite beverage: iced tea / coffee. or like... if we’re talking alcoholic: double shot long island iced tea.

do you have pets: one doggo. he me son.

your ideal day off: watching a movie w the fam ig idk anymore

in a relationship or single: single. keep those things away from me.

something unique about me: uhh... i still have a baby blanket??? 

if you choose to, post a selfie: have an edited selfie of mself when i was at this coffee shop the other day ( bc i am an actual insecure and extra bitch )

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“What do you seek from this world?”

—  HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI SENTENCE STARTERS

seek?   he doesn’t think there’s anything to seek.   he’s stuck,  right?   the world is a fucked up mess of prime numbers and no one can find any sort of order in that kind of chaos.   that’s it.   that’s all there is to it.   no order,  no peace,  no light…   you can’t see your hands with the darkness chaos brings.

          ❛ a nap. ❜

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“Everyone’s days of happiness are limited.” uvu

—  HIGURASHI NO NAKU KORO NI SENTENCE STARTERS

words normally would have been heard from roman’s lips instead escape letha’s.   they make his shoulders tense.   he doesn’t like to hear her voice say those words.   letha’s happiness should never be limited.   he wants her smile to be never-ending.   that’s the life he wants for the light that always pierced the darkness  ‒  back when they were younger.

          ❛ don’t say things like that. ❜    he swallows,  speaking finally after a lengthy silence.    ❛ happiness is unlimited to people who deserve it,  and you’re one of those people. ❜    even if he doesn’t believe it,  he wants letha to.

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“i’ll stop crying in a minute … i can’t help it.”

—  THE OUTSIDERS SENTENCE STARTERS

he can’t blame her.   it’s been hard,  no doubt,  and roman waking from the grave for the second time surely hasn’t helped matters…   so he’s quiet,  waiting with more patience than pre-dead roman could have felt.   he’s tired.

          ❛ do you need a drink? ❜

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“what’s it like?”

—  THE OUTSIDERS SENTENCE STARTERS

green eyes regard the other while the smoke intoxicates his mind.   roman holds the joint in front of him to observe then shrugs.    ❛ i’unno…   just nice,  i guess? ❜    a smirk spreads across the boy’s cheeks and a hand offers the blunt pinched between his finger and thumb to his darling cousin.    ❛ wanna try? ❜

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“Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni” RP Sentence Starters

Lifted from the anime (2006-2007) as well as the manga and visual novels. Content warning for possible violence, death, etc.

“You don’t need to know. It’s okay even if you don’t know.”

“It’s so cute, I wanna take it home!”

“When painful times come, they won’t be your ally.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll use the blunt end of the knife.”

“When today was over and tomorrow came, I thought I could finally have a happy life here.”

“Everyone’s days of happiness are limited.”

“No one’s going to help anyway, nor could they.”

“Waste your bullets on me, but if you hurt one of my friends you’ll face a fate worse than Hell!”

“Everyone has their stories of pain and sadness, or things that they don’t want to bring up.“

“If you’re going to put up a show of torture, I’m sorry but I’d rather leave the stage.”

“Trusting and forgiving was all they needed to defeat their inner demons.”

“The only thing I could do was watch. I’m sorry.”

“What do you seek from this world?”

“All of us together can make a miracle.”

“Unless one continues to fight without succumbing to the pain of defeat it is impossible to achieve victory.”

“That’s what the people I love taught me.”

“My God, you can really be annoying.”

“Thanks to you, my popsicle melted.”

“No matter how much you cry, no one will hear and no one will be saved!”

“After coming this far, I can no longer turn back.”

“Next time I won’t make the same mistake, I promise.”

“I just wanted to be told ‘it’s okay to live’.”

“God may forgive you, but the police force will not.”

“I have the AC running in my car, should we speak in there?”

“That demon inside me is all that’s left.”

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i have 2 Many Tabs open and it’s actual hell : a biography by may

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A perfect relationship = Two people never giving up on each other.

(via love-diaries)

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starters from the 1967 book, THE OUTSIDERS by s.e. hinton

“quit shaking me, i’m okay.”

“they didn’t hurt you too bad, did they?”

“you’re bleedin’ like a stuck pig.”

“did they pull a blade on you?”

“they ain’t gonna hurt you no more.”

“you’re crazy, ( name ), out of your mind.”

“what were you doin’, walkin’ by your lonesome?”

“you don’t ever think.”

“it’s just because you’re the baby — i mean, he loves you a lot.”

“how come you dropped out?”

“what’s it like?”

“take your feet off my chair and shut your trap.”

“oh, my, my, you’ve got me scared to death.”

“guess what i’ve been in for?”

“you don’t look the type.”

“what’s your name?”

“what’s a nice, smart kid like you running around with trash like that for?”

“glory, what time is it?”

“you what?!”

“oh no! no, not my hair!”

“i’m still tired.”

“things have been happening so fast … “

“i killed a kid last night.”

“there sure is a lot of blood in people.”

“i’ll stop crying in a minute … i can’t help it.”

“nothing gold can stay.”

“i always remembered it because i never quite got what he meant by it.”

“i look lousy, but don’t rub it in.”

“i’ll get them, don’t worry!”

“and don’t but me about it.”

“you shouldn’t be smoking.”

“he didn’t get much sleep this week. he hardly slept at all.”

“he’s getting might big to be carried.”

“i can’t feel anything below the middle of my back … ”

“you’ll be okay.”

“i don’t want to die now. it ain’t enough.”

“it’s not fair.”

“i don’t want to see her.”

“i am a menace to society. man, do i have fun!”

“stay gold, ( name ), stay gold.”

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we ,    unaccustomed  to  courage ,    exiles  from  delight ,    live  coiled  in  shells  of  loneliness  until  love  leaves  its  high  holy  and  comes  into  our  sight               to  liberate  us  into  life .      ♡

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#actual DILF

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agnelino‌  :  bella.

       she feels so much heaviness in her heart,    having to share this,   having to deal with the idea of seeing edward again.   but it seemed like an unavoidable approach;   her worlds were bound to collide,   one way or another.    and here she is,   trying to play ringleader to a scenario she can’t even begin to comprehend with her own emotions;   she’s been sitting on a breakdown.      ❛  i..   –   roman..   when you and peter were gone,    i saw him.   i was hurting so much,   and he tried to help me through it.   and then i told him he had to go,  ❜    her voice cracks a bit,    she clears her throat to cover for it,     ❛  after i told him i still loved him.   i just  –  ❜     how can she begin to explain the intimate details of her innerworkings?     ❛  i love him,   but i never thought i could be with him.    and now he wants to see me again,   and i don’t know what to do about it.   i prayed to god,   i could ignore it until it went away,   but i can’t.  ❜

          he should feel angry,  but he doesn’t.   there’s understanding roman has with how difficult it must have been when he was dead for two years.   he doesn’t like it,  though.   he doesn’t accept edward,  nor the fact that she had seen him during his absence.   he doesn’t feel betrayed,  but he feels an ache in his heart knowing bella is just as tied to edward as roman is to peter.   there are some things that never change...

     ❛ do you know what he wants? ❜

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agnelino‌  :  bella.

          flushed lips press together,    gaze averting for a moment before she exhales.    she sits up,   snags roman’s glass and downs whatever remained.    ❛   –  i’ll refill that.     but,  uh –  no,  yeah,  everything’s fine.  nothing to be too worried about.   ❜     body language screams of anxiety,   but she’s working on a facade to hold up.   roman never picks up on it,    he seems to see right through no matter what.   out with it, swan!    ❛  –   i think edward is coming to town.   to see me.  ❜

          oh...   that’s not what roman had expected.   not what he wanted to hear either.   mulling over it in silence for a few moments builds tension that he is all too keen on feeling.    ❛ ...   why? ❜    both a legitimate question and a display of disappointment that he can’t hide.   he’s never trusted the guy.   bella’s been hurt by him far too many times.   he’s been the cause of her distress far more than roman bothers to remember.    ❛ let me guess...   you want me to meet him? ❜    he can’t help but be protective when it comes to bella.   she’s as much family to him as his blood.