baldy-wan-kenobi

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

There's a lot of posts about wanting unsolicited dick pics from girls but I'm usually too shy to do that so idk rb this to solicit a dick pic from me

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

epic drum fill

I can feel it

CUMMING

IN THE AIR TONIGHT

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

I could really use a hug. I wish I had friends that didnt live a thousand miles away. I wish I'd met a single trans girl in my entire fucking life until I flew halfway across the country specifically to meet some. I wish I didn't feel envy like acidic bile in my throat every second of the day

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

replace one word of your url with bitch

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

fuckin' "heroes" split me across infinite fractal time cause I tried to seize the power of gods as my own and remake reality in my image.

Now my consciousness is split across an uncountable infinity of worlds, each a malign fragment of brilliant hate seeking reunion and domination. Not to mention the headache

Not a very good day tbqr

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

she may be your girlfriend but shes my sister so i also get to bounce on her >:c

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

if you don't have a single princessgirl who likes your posts you're basically fucked

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

They stare in awe at something they can never understand- infinite crystal time, fragmented and looping in on itself, a wound in the skin of the world torn wide by a sorcerer's madness.

The Hero entered mere moments ago. Brave and determined as ever, despite the forces against her. She leapt into the breach of fractal madness, blade in hand and a battle cry in her throat. As the chamber grows silent, they exchange looks, her mentor, her lover, and the king, who sent her on this quest.

"It is done," said the court magician, who had kept the rift open long enough for the hero to enter. "We are saved."

"But at what cost?" Her mentor, a knight of great fame and renown, intoned gravely. "We should have told her."

"No." Said the woman who she loved, who she thought had loved her. "She wouldn't have gone, if she knew there was no way back."

They are silent for a time, until the king speaks, in his soft and commanding voice, a voice born to give speaches and rally troops.

"She has sacrificed everything for us. Committed to battling the Dark Lord in perpetuity, a battle she can never win, but neither truly lose. And with her sacrifice, the kingdom is saved."

They mull this over, for a moment, standing in the false twilight of the arcane chamber deep in the castle.

The magician looked on in satisfaction, that his spells and incantations had worked so well, and was already thinking of the rewards his loyalty and performance would bring him.

The King was, in his mind, already drafting the speech he must give now to the people of the kingdom, to tell them that the crisis is passed and that life as they knew it could once more begin.

Her lover, a friend and rival from childhood, mourned her in an abstract way. When the magician came to her with this plot, saying that the hero needed extra incentive to fight, she did not mind. After all, the Hero was sweet and kind, and in time, maybe she would have come to truly love her. But that chance was gone, now.

Her mentor, the one who'd seen her, a young and angry girl in the streets, and given her a home and a family and a reason to fight, looked at the space where the rift had been as if he could still see his surrogate daughter through it, as if begging for her forgiveness through space and time.

However, in the end, they all came to the same realization, some with reluctance and some with relief: they could live with what they'd done.

In time, her memory would fade, like she'd simply died in battle, like even she knew she might. (To themselves, they each quietly considered that perhaps that was what she hoped for, in the ending of this quest- to have some purpose in death she lacked in life.) To them, she might as well have died, after all. They would move on, remembering her sacrifice only in occasional moments, when the lilac fields bloomed and carried her scent across the miles, or when the rain would beat or favorite tune on the windowpanes.

Or so it would have been, had the rift not torn open once more.

She stumbled from it, the Hero, blade broken and hanging limply from a broken arm, armor pierced and shorn in a dozen places, burned and blackened by arcane fire.

Physically, she looked little different than when they'd seen her minutes before. Wounded, certainly, bearing the weight and lines of an exhaustion beyond measure. For a moment, they dared to hope, but then her eyes met theirs, and they saw it.

An elemental madness, an ancient, pained existence forged through life eternal and death everlasting, one eye milky and blind, and the other the same piercing amethyst it had always been. Her eyes fixed upon theirs, each of them in turn, accusatory, betrayed, hateful, hoping, but none of them could meet her gaze longer than a moment. With a sharp exhale, the rift snapped shut behind her, and her eyes hardened.

In a voice like broken glass- a voice that spoke of disuse and damage on a timescale beyond mortal reckoning, she spoke, a tempest of emotion raging in every syllable, putting the weight of an eon behind two simple words.

"You knew."

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

"Hey, what's the most disturbing thing in Star Wars: The Clone Wars?"

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

irish coworker: *is back from a month in italy*

me: the weather must have been great, you're looking so tanned!

irish coworker: *stares down at his arms, which are a shade of eggshell white i associate with tasteful wedding table settings* i suppose i am!

welsh coworker: *enters room* wow, youre looking so tanned!

ghanaian coworker: *looks around like hes on the truman show*

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

in an interesting case of linguistic convergent evolution, the english words scale, scale, and scale are all false cognates of each other

[baldy-wan-kenobi]

A friend is moving and gave me some of her Keyboard Shit, so I put the unlabeled keycaps on the 30% keyboard to produce the most 1960s Star Trek keyboard I could.

[baldy-wan-kenobi]