bananzer

[bananzer]

everybody give it up for female characters who are WEIRD and OFFPUTTING. maybe even LOUD and UNAFRAID TO TAKE UP SPACE. round of applause. NOW.

[bananzer]

can u imagine if other pieces of media were as scared of calling their monsters what they are as zombie media is about calling zombies zombies

[bananzer]

some highlights from my students’ romeo and juliet modern interpretation projects:

- someone made a username for friar laurence with 420 at the end - the same kid who put 69 in romeo’s username like i wouldn’t know what either of those things mean - the girl who added ‘clean’ at the end of all the songs on her juliet playlist like lmao girl i know spotify doesn’t have the clean version - the kid who said romeo and juliet killed each other - the weird dichotomy of kids who put love story on their playlist vs the kids who choose bad blood - the kid who wrote ‘get a room’ as tybalt’s comment on romeo’s couple pic - the kid who said ‘romeo is probably one of those douches who follows a ton of people so they follow him back and then he unfollows all of them’ - the one who legitimately used the word ‘alrighty’ do kids say this in their text messages???? i thought i was the one talking like an elderly person but okay - the one who made romeo’s username ‘montagoose’ - the only kid who acknowledged that posting about your secret relationship on instagram was a bad idea - the girl who wrote that romeo would unironically say ‘#blessed’. she’s right. - the one single solitary girl who wrote mercutio as gay as shakespeare did (she’s also the only one who used mercutio at all which is a tragedy but whatever) - the one who wrote romeo’s insta bio as ‘thus with a kiss i die… LOL RIP ME 😂💀’ - the one who made benvolio’s username benvoliYO

[bananzer]

I wish they could invent a medical device that temporarily transfers your symptoms and pain to the doctor treating you and it worked like a shock collar. “I think light exercise would-.” and then bam they’re rolling around the floor clutching their stomach in agony and dry heaving.

[bananzer]

Listen - no one person has done a genre or a theme or any kind of writing "the best it's ever been done" objectively. Art doesn't work like that. You can't look at good art and despair because you'll never be as good as that, what you do won't look like someone else but it can be just as good in a different way. Except for Fullmetal Alchemist. You'll never write something as good as Fullmetal Alchemist. I'll never write something as good as Fullmetal Alchemist. I lie awake at night sometimes thinking about the fact that I will never write anything as good as Fullmetal Alchemist.

[bananzer]

people are like oh I'm so tired of masculine female characters I want more feminine ones LISTEN THERE ARE SO MANY AND BOTH OPTIONS CAN SUCK half the time the masculine ones just know how to use a weapon magically but also are still hot in a standard way and half the time the feminine ones are sexist stereotypes we have GOT to join forces and admit really we just don't like badly written women we CANNOT keep being divided like this

[bananzer]

— requested by manbunjon

[bananzer]

having a resting bitchface is so funny because i'll be doing something relaxing, and really enjoying myself and my face will look like this

[bananzer]

[bananzer]

Having one-sided beef with one specific character is so funny. Like I can see a million characters who do terrible things and be like “whatever.” But then there’s one specific motherfucker who pissed me off so bad that I’d run them over at a red light if given the chance.

[bananzer]

Albino CAPY!!!

[bananzer]

the worst part about ocd and ocd-like tendencies is that you think hyper-analyzing your thoughts and constantly psychoanalyzing yourself will fix you but that's actually part of the disorder. it's the disorder. disordering.

[bananzer]

as a catholic. i hate everyone's obsession with so-called "catholic guilt" actually

that's called scrupulosity (or, in the common parlance, religious/moral ocd) and it's not supposed to be there. we have resources we'll help you

[bananzer]

i love the concept of a vampire priest because it either means that they're a priest purely for the aesthetic, which implies they studied at a theological seminary for at least 4 years, served as a transitional deacon, then went through the process of ordination literally just so they get to have some dead flowers and skulls and stand creepily in some pews with organ music, OR they're genuinely a devoted catholic and wanted to serve god & the church even as a vampire. both options are fascinating but frankly i think there should be more vampire priests who are genuinely devoutly catholic and are currently performing olympic level mental gymnastics to justify their partaking in the eucharist

[bananzer]

y’all love the morally gray, snarky, grief stricken characters until it’s a woman. i’ve seen so much discourse regarding female characters who display the exact same character traits as male leads and are criticized for it while the men are praised. let women be cruel and vindictive. let them deal with their grief and trauma in destructive ways. let them be real. give them the same treatment you would give to your favorite male love interest.

[bananzer]

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

[bananzer]

every generation has a - hang on post cancelled I wanna talk about this autocomplete suggestion