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"Two things you should never do, drugs, and breathe on the bar lines."

-The band director

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"Really hammer home the ffp<ff at D. Like, full send it on the stab. Make me feel like I'm gonna get stabbed."

-Woodwind Tech

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"Really hammer home the ffp<ff at D. Like, full send it on the stab. Make me feel like I'm gonna get stabbed."

-Woodwind tech

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So, for those who don't know, after I graduated from high school, I came back to help tech the band, this is my second year doing so. And at like the first or second rehearsal I found this like metal stick and just took it (It's the woodwind mascot now, his name is Danny.) One of the clarinet players approached me today and told me she's going to keep a tally of how many times I drop it. I've only had Danny for 2 practices and I've already dropped him 6 times.

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You: Bb

Me, an intellectual: Beef lat

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Clarinet: yeah no, it's not that hard, I'm just stupid

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Pitt tech: *sneezes*

Pitt director: Dab on it

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Band Kid Confessions

my band has a yearly ritual, where during midterms and/or finals, we sit in a circle, and put on the flashlight on our phone and put them in a circle screen down flashlight up. then one student pulls up a picture of a goat and places it in the middle, we wait for the phone to shut off (for the lamb to die) while chanting. this brings us good luck on all of our exams

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me, violently pressing f: for everyone who had to play sleigh ride again

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A collection of my favorite directions from the cello part of Next To Normal

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The tumblr classical music fandom always seems to have a problem with how various people spell Tchaikovsky, and for that reason I present to you the Library of Congress’s list of recognized spelling variants:

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Typical female percussionist conversation: Me: I'm a musician Them: Cool! What do you play? The flute? Me: No, I'm a percussionist. Them: Really?? Me: Yeah What I'm thinking: BANG BANG PARADIDDLE BOOM BITCH Sorry if this isn't appropriate, but I get that a lot. "You look like a flute player." We discussed this in my Music Ed class and how much people, especially young students, tend to place instruments with a specific gender. There are 3 female percussionists in my studio of 25. It's crazy.

Percussion studio gender ratios are usually worse than low brass studios, which is both impressive and terrifying to me.

Kids do this a lot, which makes me upset. At a very young age they associate instruments with gender, because their parents or music teachers have already done this for them. Every time I would go to a new teaching placement in my degree program, I would have the kids guess what instrument I played. I would say that 75% of the time, they guessed flute. I actually had a little girl cry once because I was the first adult female trombonist she had ever met and she didn’t know that there were others like her out there.

That should not have had to happen.

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So I finally got my copy of ‘Too Many Songs by Tom Lehrer’ and it says

pornissimo

pornissimo

only in the world of Tom Lehrer

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This is my first time in musical theatre pit and i

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Me, jumping to conclusions

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Can’t believe I got fired from my radio gig for being myself.