baniterasia - Tumblr blog

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FUCK boys FUCK men FUCK this I am BEYOND DONE

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no offense but you’re lovely and you matter a lot

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I love how Félix and Adrien's canon relationship is:

Félix: It's him. My inspiration, my better version, everything my parents created me to be and everything I can't be. I loathe him, I detest him, I cherish him, I love him. I wish he would die, I would kill everyone in this world so him and me can live.

Adrien: It's Félix! My best buddy :)

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i love smart ppl who can teach me stuff without making me feel dumb for not knowing it

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Caves are weirder and more varied than you think

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When Clay said Viva’s goin’ through some stuff, he was talking through experience -

Src:

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call me a bluetooth earbud the way i repeatedly fail to make connections with the readily available persons waiting to pair around me

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I deeply desire my social anxiety to be a symptom of something else that I can actually manage.

The first time I discovered there was a term for what I experience, that SAD was a thing, it was liberating. I could finally explain it to others and, id I did my research and deal with ot probably, I could get cured! Right?? Heh. In fact, this did not happened. I can't overcome this. SAD is a bitch, exposition is a bitch, remedies are fucking expensive and I'm slowly starting to think therapy is also another bitch.

The fantasy of discovering something — perhaps a physical illness, perhaps a tumor. Something that a doctor could discover and take the fuck OUT OF ME — has been with me since I realized I can't overcome this shit. So much so that I've become vulnerable to anything that hints to it.

But today I've realized how vulnerable I am to this possibility.

I mean. I've been flirting with the possibility of being autistic. I did mention it to my therapist, but you know, this things take time. And that's something.

But today I just discovered the word "therian" and I kid you not I considered being one. Idk, I feel this over-identification to bunnies (ye I know username does not check, long history) but, apparently I still don't fit the definition of a therian. I just thought that maybe if the whole issue was my bunny instincts, I could learn another way to deal with my fear. And that's a whole new level.

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God made me this way because he knew I'd be too powerful if I had social skills

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You know — maybe that's it. Maybe that's my thorn in the flesh. Maybe the illness will never go away. Maybe someone out there will love me even if I'm sick (perhaps even find something to love about it). Maybe I can be happy like this.

So maybe I shouldn't worry that much. Maybe I don't need to hate myself.

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Branch wants to fight him so bad tbh

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Why do you keep asking what I can't give?

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hanging around

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I pray he snaps like this one day 🙏🏽

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Check in: I'm bleeding and sad. All I want is candy, head pats, cuddles and getting dicked down until I can't walk or think straight.