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This is a headline on an actual news website.

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if i got to ask a genie for a wish i wouldn’t just ask for money i would specifically ask for all of jeff bezos’ money and then use all his money to do all the things people keep saying jeff bezos could do with his money

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love my boys in plaid

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Uber: “I’m in a blue Honda Civic.”

Me: “ok”

Me to me: “ok, we know what blue is”

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"even fate picks its favorites" is such a raw fucking line so it's no surprise that it comes from the cinematic masterpiece Megamind (2010)

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+ BONUS

IRON MAN 3 2013 | DIR. SHANE BLACK

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest (2006)

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so apparently John Mulaney was Aesop in 500 B.C

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Take me down to Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls be pretty, didn’t make sense not to live for fun, your brain gets smart but your ass gets dumb ooO I’ve! Become so numb! I can feel you there!

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Everybody shut up I'm sinking into a daydream universe where I'm loved and nothing is wrong

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Adam Driver and Azhy Robertson behind the scenes of Marriage Story