barnabystruve

[barnabystruve]

I met Barnaby in the sixth grade moving to Kingwood from Saudi Arabia. We became quick friends via our mutual interest in D&D way before it was cool. That small (and I mean really small… no one’s shoulders had popped in yet…) group was a big part of making me feel safe when everything was weird and confusing. I always had a Saturday night sleep over and twenty-sided dice that made me realized I had found some new friends. I remember we read through the original three Dragonlance books every night and we’d meet up in the halls before the first bell just to see who got a chapter or two ahead the previous night.

Sadly, in the way that friend groups tend to fragment if you’re not already the popular kids, we shifted paths. And even though we ran in the same friend groups (the Metal Kids… Black Metallica T-Shirts. Pre-Black album. The Justice Era…) we became arch enemies. Which just means in the parlance of these days means we just snarked about each other a lot to mutual friends.

But Senior Year (1991) rolled around and we both got tagged for a Gifted and Talented English class. I got the role of head writer for a play we had to write and perform our last trimester. Which, because no one in our writer group had a better idea, I wrote about a clown who runs away from the circus to become an accountant.

Everyone had to be on stage for at least one line. I know I was a clown. I think he was too…

The play was a hit for the dozen people who weren’t our teachers who saw it.

Probably the last words I spoke to him were on that stage. But I regret not being able to say a few more.

[barnabystruve]

This story is so much better... One time we used directory assistance (Kiddos, Google it... or better yet.. call it...) because we were impatient for a Marvel RPG book to come out. So we asked for TSR in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. We get the number, then get the switchboard. Inquired as to when the certain thing was coming out... Then get connected to Jeff Grubb. Who tells us the exact date. And true to his word, on that day it was on the shelf.

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🖤

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RIP Brother. I always appreciated you good word and support of my beer and toys.

[barnabystruve]

I knew Barnaby in a much different setting than most of you - we were Marines together for a short time. I met him in June of 1995 at Fort McClellan, Alabama when we were both assigned to Nuclear, Biological and Chemical Warfare Defense school. Reading through everyone’s memories of him, I can see a lot of that in what I knew of him for those 12 weeks in the summer of dial-up internet and pagers (we had neither).

He was a crazy guy and always made people laugh. He was quite the character. One thing I recall is that he said that he had shaved his head since high school (backed up by some of the HS pictures I’ve seen in these remembrances). In the USMC in 1995, however, that was verboten because of the association with skin heads. It took some time, but he finally made his case to the Marine Detachment CO, and they relented and let him shave his head again. Another funny thing had to do with his being from South Africa. Since “African American” was first picking up steam as thing to say back then we always joked that he was the only authentic African American in the platoon!

Another strange coincidence is that he happened to know an ex-girlfriend of mine from high school. I had graduated in 1990 from a HS in Dallas (Bishop Lynch) and 5 years later, this Marine in the platoon from Houston knew this same girl (she had also gone to the U of H). It was very random.

I kept up with him for a while, but then I hadn’t heard form him for a very long time. I started to look him up at one point (about the Three Floyds days) but I couldn’t find a way to get in touch with him. Then I heard he was in Europe or something. Finally, I just looked today and found this website. I feel very disheartened that I was never able to reconnect with him before was gone. I am glad that there are some many great stories about him on this site. He obviously touched a great many people. I read I lot of them and I thought to myself, yep, sounds like him.

Fair winds and following seas, Marine. Until we met again.

Todd O'Brien

PS - sorry about the terrible photo quality, I think it was a disposable camera. All the photos are here: https://flic.kr/s/aHBqjzDoX7

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Among the barrels in Paso Robles, California...Rest easy my fiend -Rob

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Barnaby sent me this pic he took of our boy Oliver one of the times he stayed with us. He - like me - had an extra special connection to Oliver and loved hanging out with him.  Even though we have a dedicated guest room, Barnaby would never sleep there. He'd stay up long after we'd crash (all night?) drawing and listening to music, and having a few beers and/or cocktails. Oliver would stay and hang with him, no doubt a trusted confidant during those all-nighters. He always asked about "the crew" and genuinely cared about our creatures. That always meant a lot to me.

I have SO many amazingly touching and hilarious stories, and am supremely grateful for every one of them. I cannot, though, remember exactly when or where I finally met him. I've racked my brain, and I just can't recall. And this fact was making me extra sad. And then I realized: I am sure that I felt like I knew him long before we met, through the many, many stories Jeff would tell me about him.  I would come to know him as this extraordinary man, and we would go on to develop our own unique and special friendship. Jeff and Barnaby had such a neat relationship. While he's never said it, I think Barnaby was a lot like a brother Jeff never had. They are both very loyal and very committed friends, so when two like-hearted souls like theirs meet, well, the rest is history. It was a delight to behold. I am doubly crushed for Jeff.

One of the last times we hung out was in Chicago. I think because we had always loved having him here at our place in San Diego, he was intent on putting us up at his place. It felt so great to get to spend a ton of one-on-one time with him over that weekend. He took us to Dove's for brunch/lunch (and to Big Star for micheladas during the wait for a table at Dove's). I'll never forget getting in the car to head over there, though. He had this teeny little fiat car.  As we were about to get in, he had to make room for us by taking a full on sewing machine out of the back seat. A sewing machine? Who ever knew what he was getting in to. Right on brand.

I just cannot believe he is gone. I cannot believe there will be no more hugs, no more laughs with him. He always had a way of popping up - the last time I saw him in Denver he cruised into the hotel bar I was in, fresh from the airport carrying what looked like a typewriter case (his suitcase?). We had a drink and he went to go check in as he was also staying there (awesome, I thought!). Not so fast: he came back a few minutes later and he'd apparently booked his room for the wrong dates. No hotel room for GABF weekend? He wasn't phased in the least. No one who knows him has any doubt that he made the absolute best of it. 

Love you Barnabeast. Always will.

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.....this still sucks. Miss you Boobs.

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What I can say that already hasn't been said. I loved Barnaby too

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I met Barnaby when he started dating one of my best friends Kawehi. I was automatically drawn to this man. He was so intelligent with knowledge I didn't care about but found so fascinating lol. He was my test dummy when I was going through barber school. He didn't care if I messed his hair or beard up because he was so easy going. I loved meeting up with him at the brewery and learning a plethora of knowledge and asking him about what all his tattoos meant and hearing the silly stories of his friends all over the would. I thought it was so cool how well traveled he was. I moved away from Portland about a year and a half before he passed. I got to see him when i went back to visit and he showed me unconditional love as he always dad. I'm so sad he's no longer with us. I wish he was one human that could be around forever. Xoxo Barney. P. S. This is a pic of Cali. Mine and Ashley's dog that he just adored. We bought him a shirt with a little Pomeranian that popped out of the pocket and Pomeranian tube socks. He would wear these items with his coochie cutter shorts and walk her down to the local bar. So adorable lol. 

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Ladybird and the Barn! Happy birthday. We all love you!!

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I met Barnaby while working at the Map Room in Chicago, Illinois. I ran the early morning coffee/bar shift in my mid 20’s. He always said I was his favorite because I was the angriest “kid” he had ever met. And I probably was… Regardless, as I happily served him coffee and/or Greyhounds he always treated me with respect and shared his wisdom. Many years after that, as I was planning to move to Seattle, we ran into each other several times and recalled many memorable moments together. On social media through my years after moving we exchanged short quips and pleasantries often. I will never forget this unforgettable soul and human being.

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Chapter 3 — Float On

Sonny: “So I’ve got some extra late-night reservation floats if you wanna go?”

Barnaby: “Thats funny cause I was thinking the same thing…”

End scene

Sensory deprivation tanks have their place in society. A suspension of time—weightlessness. Barnaby, we may not have gone that night but I hear Lake Michigan goes pretty deep…

Sonny De