bartender-ramb

[bartender-ramb]

we have no idea mr tenna sir. a bunch of people were like antagonizing him lowkey i guess he just got upset and left

Oh for the love of-WILL YOU PEOPLE STOP 😡HARRASSING😡 MY EMPLOYEES??? Yeesh, it's like these people have never heard of decency, folks! I'll get it sorted out, maybe give him access to the water cooler to make up for it.

...Wait no he's a power outlet that would be bad-

[bartender-ramb]

heyyy tenna! uh. ramb ran away. oops

What do you mean 🏃RAN🏃 away??? He can't do that, he's under contract!! Where did he go??

[bartender-ramb]

"....Ramb does not feel well. We would both appreciate it if you did not seek him out. You ask enough of him as is."

[* They grab the cup of Ramb tea once again...holding it in their hand...staring into it's contents...seeing their own reflection...]

"...In fact. I think I should check on him myself."

"Do not follow me."

((Ooc: oooooo the horrors the horrors ooooo~~~))

...Alright?? Hope he feels 🩹BETTER🩹, I guess? Ugh, I'll have to bribe one of the Pippins to help...

[bartender-ramb]

hi tenna.

we killed ramb.

sorry.

HUH???? You better not have, he's the only one who can fit in the gacha balls and DOESN'T try to scam me out of my 🪙POINTS🪙 the whole time!!!

[bartender-ramb]

what the fuck is that thing (pointing at tenna)

What the heck am I?? What the heck are 🫵YOU🫵???? Is this what Ramb's been doing behind the counter this whole time???

[bartender-ramb]

...

Ramb??? Dammit, where IS he, I need to make sure the seals on these 🔴TOY BALLS🔴 are tight enough...!

[bartender-ramb]

Oh, poor dear... missing something of yours? Hee hee ha! You weren't going to use it anyway, were you? The SHADOW CRYSTAL... it belongs in the hands of someone else. Someone entertaining! Someone who will give our little God a good show!

Kris doesn't need you, little bartender. You want to help them? Hee ha! Then stand back and let them follow the forbidden path... after all, without play, the knife grows dull!

But either way, bartender...

It's futile. Your little token attempt to do anything, be anything at all! In a world where everyone is so connected...

"NOBODY WILL SHED A TEAR FOR YOU!" HEE HEE HA!

Your friend. 🧡

...

I was goin' to use it. To give them some fun like they'd never had before. With a prize worth the effort.

I...no one will...

...

Thanks for remindin' me, luv. 'Preciate it.

[bartender-ramb]

". . . . ."

".....I'm so sorry...my friend...I could not protect you from their poison."

"...Maybe...I can save you before it's too late."

[* Their light has dimmed.]

[bartender-ramb]

"....Your stress is...rising..I can tell..."

[* They reach out their hands... but they hesitate.. and drop it back down to their side..]

"Would you like to talk about it...or sit in comfortable silence...?"

-🔮

...I think...I need to go. Actually.

Tell Tenna I was feelin' a bit dodgy.

[bartender-ramb]

Oh, poor dear... missing something of yours? Hee hee ha! You weren't going to use it anyway, were you? The SHADOW CRYSTAL... it belongs in the hands of someone else. Someone entertaining! Someone who will give our little God a good show!

Kris doesn't need you, little bartender. You want to help them? Hee ha! Then stand back and let them follow the forbidden path... after all, without play, the knife grows dull!

But either way, bartender...

It's futile. Your little token attempt to do anything, be anything at all! In a world where everyone is so connected...

"NOBODY WILL SHED A TEAR FOR YOU!" HEE HEE HA!

Your friend. 🧡

...

I was goin' to use it. To give them some fun like they'd never had before. With a prize worth the effort.

I...no one will...

...

Thanks for remindin' me, luv. 'Preciate it.

[bartender-ramb]

....

who do you think you are?

thinking you know whats best for kris?

your EXACTLY like that tv.

let kris think for themselves!

Don't you DARE compare me to that daft bloody git.

I DO let Kris think for themself—I ain't got a whole bleedin' plan laid out to force 'em to play the games I want forever just 'cause I'm too scared to be an OLD, OBSOLETE CRT. I did SO MUCH MORE for them than just sit around bein' watched; I stuck with them when they were feelin' right lonely, I gave them hours upon hours of games they CHOSE to play, my entire PURPOSE is LETTIN' THEM HAVE FUN. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM 'CAUSE I ACTUALLY PUT IN THE BLOODY EFFORT TO LEARN WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM.

SO JUST-

[bartender-ramb]

And how the bloody hell would you make someone happy if you're miserable?? Think, man. You go up to someone feeling like shit and they can tell, cant they? Cant YOU?

They sure can't, apparently, seein' as no one’s ever had the gumption to do more than give me a nod 'cept for Kris. Blimey, I can't even bloody RECALL the last time someone asked how I was gettin’ on—usually they barely clock my name, even though it's RIGHT ON THE LIGHT DAMN SIGN ABOVE ME-

......Calm down, Ramb, take a breather...focus on what's important...

[bartender-ramb]

You matter. Your choices matter. Everything about you matters. Nobody can take away what we decide to become. Who we want to be. And if you cannot fight for yourself...

We will fight for you.

Would you lot bloody CAN IT??? There is no "we" except me an' Kris, and I know what I want to be. I want to be who they need to be HAPPY again. Because APPARENTLY I'm the only bloke in this whole Dark World who isn't too caught up in my own issues to SEE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE.

So shut your gobs with all this sympathy and let me do my bloody JOB as a DARKNER. Are we clear???

[bartender-ramb]

Luv, if you know what's good for you, you'll do what I asked. That's not for you, that's for someone very special to me. So just hand it over, and I'll only be a bit miffed, yea?

Oh, I didn't mean that kind of kind, really, I just meant your... kind of person! It brings me delight, seeing you so... ah... excited about all of this. I can appreciate passion in any form.

Excited? Who wouldn’t be excited?! This lying lottle shard meant to go to some plug unlocks it all! It’s beyond EVERYTHING I’ve ever known!

To think it was going to that Ramb guy, HAH! He wouldn’t know how much it matters!

[bartender-ramb]

...Mate, I'm only gonna say this once, and I hope you understand it, and know that I don't want things to get ugly.

Give. That. Back.

Oh, I didn't mean that kind of kind, really, I just meant your... kind of person! It brings me delight, seeing you so... ah... excited about all of this. I can appreciate passion in any form.

Excited? Who wouldn’t be excited?! This lying lottle shard meant to go to some plug unlocks it all! It’s beyond EVERYTHING I’ve ever known!

To think it was going to that Ramb guy, HAH! He wouldn’t know how much it matters!

[bartender-ramb]

Do you ever feel

Like plastic bag lonely plug

Drifting through the wind

Ready to start again

I know those are lyrics, but I sure do sometimes, mate.

[bartender-ramb]

I feel so sigma!

Heh, I'd ask if Queen was in my inbox if I didn't know any better.