bartender-ramb

[bartender-ramb]

I really did throw everything off kilter for him, didn’t I? No wonder the crystal was after him, to make him feel useful, special, something else.

I’ll try my best. Maybe messing up plans for as for the best? Now the crystal and mantle are going to be thrown out, if this goes well.

[bartender-ramb]

(ooc: new tag for yall to explore while im on break from clearing my inbox heehee)

#ramb lore

[bartender-ramb]

well maybe ramb would listen to you if you werent such a massive jerk?

you both want the best for kris, and im so happy for that.

but...neither of you actually asked kris what THEY want.

...

please dont make anyone sad anymore.

please.

everyone has suffered enough.

HEY-I can't verbally ASK them what they want, but I think I've got a pretty good idea considering I am their 📺TELEVISION📺!! I've been there watching through their best and worst times, I know what their favorite show was, what they hated watching, the shows they'd watch with Dess and Azzy when our parents weren't here, what calmed them down when they would come crying to me to drown out the yelling-I KNOW KRIS!!! But that damn power strip is convinced he knows them BETTER. As much as I'd say I know them, I didn't want to make it into a competition, really!! But he'd ALWAYS interject with his own ideas like he knew them better, always shutting down every plan I had to make them smile again, "think of Kris, luv, what's best for Kris"-

I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING AND I DON'T NEED CONSTANT ADVICE FROM A DUSTY POWER STRIP NOBODY WANTED!!!!!

...

I. I didn't mean that, I-

[bartender-ramb]

maybe you should try and find kris then

I'm not bothering them with this when it has nothing to do with them, are you kidding me??? ➕️PLUS➕️, there's no way I could talk to them without a 🌑DARK FOUNTAIN🌑, so that option is pretty much out the window.

[bartender-ramb]

its ok mr tenna im sure he'll turn up!! you should probably focus on thinking of a plan........i mean what are you gonna do if he bites you again he has rabies... 😰😰

Right, right...ugh, I know I'm not the right person to talk to him, but I don't think there's ANYBODY here he'd listen to besides Kris. I'm not sure if me trying to talk to him would make it ⚠️WORSE⚠️, especially if he's messing with the game...

[bartender-ramb]

no pippinses DONT usually have sharp teeth and little claws. u met a tiny rat you see. itty bitty. I mean cmon what pippins is GREEN? obvs not one of those little guys. U got an infestation dude

I thought all 🎲PIPPINS🎲 were red, honestly?? Does it count as an infestation if there's only one-

[bartender-ramb]

here to frankly just boost everything going on between @bartender-ramb and @battat-gone-batty it's getting serious over there. it's like hot potato with a shadow crystal

oh dear, shadow crystals are bad news.

for them! shadow crystals make great news for me!

[bartender-ramb]

tenna wait what does that mean. tenna. what do you mean you've seen what happens when he tries plugging in. tenna

Well...Kris was a little kid, y'know? I don't blame them, and neither does Ramb, they didn't know any better. I'm just glad 🐐TORI🐐 was nearby and nothing caught on 🔥FIRE🔥...she got Kris a plug adapter after that so they could play video games. Come to think of it, I haven't seen that adapter in a long time, I think they lost it...

...And the weird thing is that...he didn't do anything. Like he didn't try to stop them or anything! I know there's only so much we can do as darkners, but he just...smiled and let them almost mangle his face up. Only when Kris started crying did he actually try and stop all the sparks because they could've gotten hurt, but...

...I need to find him.

[bartender-ramb]

yeah gang i think we got the wrong idea here he's literally incompatible with most wires? ...and c'mon, we've all seen a werewire transform. it's nigh instantaneous, he's been in there for... a while.

Yeah, he's told me so himself! I've SEEN what happens when he tried to fit a normal 🔌PLUG🔌--you get it, this just isn't adding up...

[bartender-ramb]

https://www.tumblr.com/bartender-ramb/790248930837463040/tenna-you-might-want-to-hurry-along-in-finding?source=share

you heard me. now get a move on in finding that bartender

NONONO, hang on a second, where are you getting that idea from, I've NEVER seen him even LOOK like he was gonna turn into one of those things!!!

[bartender-ramb]

...I'm getting mixed signals here.

[bartender-ramb]

tenna you might want to hurry along in finding ramb

you might be beyond cooked if he does end up becoming a werewire or something

If he WHAT?!?!?!?!

WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING IN THERE

[bartender-ramb]

heeyyy ramb buddy

let's see how you're looking rn

see if you're fully a werewire yet

[bartender-ramb]

Do what dnd nerds do, put that dice in dice jail! Personally I put my bad and naughty dice in the freezer to atone for their sins.

I would if I could FIND HIM-

[bartender-ramb]

I know you say you DON'T want my help but im still here with information. Perhaps its useful. Its not like im binding you to a contract or anything. Just information if you want to listen, if you Don't, its on you.

Now according to the data a werewerewire is ~1.4 times as strong as a werewire. This means that a regular 120 volt plugboy is still underpacing your (supposed) 48 volts. A single sample puts you at a 37 damage(unknown loadout: at work and cannot base kris check) per Kris with better equipment than the werewire fights weve seen. This sounds good, right?

But Ramb is british.

a standard British outlet is ~2.7% stronger than an american.

Now im leaving this here for later but this isn't even correct for our purposes. Ramb is a power STRIP. He has at the very least TWO outlets.

that means with two plugs he is at the very LEAST 5.4 times stronger than an average werewerewire in worst case scenarios. But most power strips are at least three plugs. If that is the case he could be 8.1 times stronger than a regular werewerewire.

I need to go home and get a base Kris value to see just how fucked you are if you aren't able to talk Ramb out of beating your scrawny green ass to a pulp

Also do not ask why my measurments are in Krises. Long story.

-🌿

I’m going to fucking die.

[bartender-ramb]

🎷🎵🎶🎶📺⁉⁉⁉

🎷🎵🎶🎶🎶🎶🩹🩹🩹...

(Seems like he's brought Tenna some bandages.)

Hey, thanks, bud!!! I can always count on you Shadowguys for ACTUAL help! Lemme just wrap these...ugh, I'm gonna have to get a new pair of gloves...these were tailor-made...

...Wait, Tenna, 🧠FOCUS🧠. There's a weird bitey Pippins with a rock he shouldn't have on the loose, you gotta find Ramb and see what's up...what's the plan here??

[bartender-ramb]

Told you that guy was a weirdo, boss!

I'll tell you what deters bozos like that... Roll that dice! The freak hates it!

(- @ask-some-random-pippins)

Are you sure?? Don't you Pippins LIKE being 💫SHAKEN💫 up??? I'm not about to agree to some backwards scheme to con me out of my POINTs again!!

...Plus, even if I wanted to, I can't find the little weirdo ANYWHERE. I looked all around the Green Room, he just disappeared!!