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“It doesn’t mean you’re weak just because your heart is heavy.”

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“Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your head already knows.”

— Lessons Learned in Life (via purplebuddhaquotes)

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Give quietly; don't make a song and dance about it.

Gyalwang Drukpa

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Things to Know About Writing Autistic People

Autism comes on a spectrum. Some of us require more support than others. Some of us are better at masking/fitting in with our peers. Some of us are nonverbal, while some talk a lot. Some stim openly and publicly, while some don’t.

It’s fine to say “autistic person.” You don’t have to say “person with autism.” Person-first language implies that having autism or referring to us as autistic is bad, when it isn’t. You wouldn’t say “person with shortness” to refer to a short person, would you?

Autism is NOT a mental illness, and it doesn’t need a cure. It is classified as a developmental disorder, not any sort of mental illness. Every autistic person that I’ve talked to has been adamantly against a cure, because there’s nothing wrong with having autism.

There are many different types of stimming. Hand-flapping isn’t the only one. Chewing on things (shirts, chew necklaces, etc), rocking, fidgeting with our hands, playing with a stim toy (tangle, fidget cube, etc), bouncing, tapping, and even vocal stims are also common and valid.

Our special interests are varied. Sure, things like trains or space or dinosaurs may be special interests that a lot of autistic people have, but switch it up a little. My special interests, for example, are rainforests, witchcraft, movies, the Periodic Table, and random fun facts.

While we’re on that topic, special interests are basically like diamonds to us. When I think about my favorite movies or TV shows, I get all happy and I can’t help but smile. I can literally talk about my special interests for so long. Often, after I introduce myself to someone new, I’ll say “Have you seen [insert favorite movie or TV show]?” And if they say they have, my heart will explode and I will just start gushing.

Social skills aren’t the only thing that we can have difficulty with. Some of the hallmark characteristics of autism include having trouble making or keeping friends, not making a lot of eye contact, and speaking in a monotone voice. Please try to add in some symptoms other than just “awkward around people.” Personally, I can only make eye contact with someone if I have a connection to them or if I know them well - and even then it’s so draining. When I try to make eye contact, with anyone else, I look away quickly. It feels strange and difficult and I don’t like it. 

For the love of all things holy, do not use the term “mental r*t*rdation.” It’s outdated and isn’t used anymore by doctors. Plus, you know, the r-word is a slur. 

The world is strange and hard to understand sometimes for us. It feels like allistics have these rules that I have to follow that are so dumb, and sometimes I don’t even know the rules, but I’m expected to follow them anyway. Oftentimes, I will say something that sounds funny in my head, but when it comes out of my mouth it wasn’t funny and no one acknowledges it.

Allistics can be sooooo frustrating. If you’re going to write an autistic person accurately, you’ll want to add in some annoying and unwarranted comments by allistic people. Such as: “You don’t look like you have autism!” “I couldn’t tell you were autistic!” “People with autism are so much better than normal people - they never lie, and are never mean to anyone.” “My child has autism, and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’m so strong for dealing with them!” “Vaccines cause autism.” 

News flash: Autistic people aren’t angels. We can lie. We can cheat. We can be mean just like anyone else can. It all comes down to the individual. We are not perfect little golden children just because we have autism.

Sheldon Cooper is not a good example of an autistic person. He is just a stereotype. Media either portrays us as super-smart geniuses, or as robots who don’t understand anything that’s going on around us. Don’t perpetuate the stigma.

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May my words do to you what your silence does to me.

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MoDo, subtly flirting with the camera.

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““If you are attracted to my body, I have good news for you. My soul is much more interesting and my mind is a lot deeper.”

— Hira  (via purplebuddhaquotes)

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“I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they like me. Now I look around and wonder if I like them.”

— Rikkie Gale (via purplebuddhaquotes)

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“The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, travelling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.”

— Donna Tartt (via writingdotcoffee)

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“You think you are the greatest sufferer in the world?”

— Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart (via the-book-diaries)

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I told Miyazaki I love the “gratuitous motion” in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are.

“We have a word for that in Japanese,” he said. “It’s called ma. Emptiness. It’s there intentionally.”

Is that like the “pillow words” that separate phrases in Japanese poetry?

“I don’t think it’s like the pillow word.” He clapped his hands three or four times. “The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it’s just busyness, But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb.”

Which helps explain why Miyazaki’s films are more absorbing and involving than the frantic cheerful action in a lot of American animation. I asked him to explain that a little more.

“The people who make the movies are scared of silence, so they want to paper and plaster it over,” he said. “They’re worried that the audience will get bored. They might go up and get some popcorn.

But just because it’s 80 percent intense all the time doesn’t mean the kids are going to bless you with their concentration. What really matters is the underlying emotions–that you never let go of those.

— Roger Ebert in conversation with Hayao Miyazaki

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“Sweeter than the early morning in summer.”

— Ernest Hemingway, from “For Whom The Bell Tolls,” written c. 1940 (via violentwavesofemotion)

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“I started wishing on the stars in the sky instead. I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang. The sun said, ‘It hurts to become.‘”

— Andrea Gibson

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“How superfluous other people can seem when you are convinced you already have the only ones you need.”

— Cristina Moracho

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“Eventually he will only be a memory of what you didn’t want from love.”

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“If you could go anywhere in the world right now would it be to a ‘where’ or to a ‘who?’”

— Unknown