basicallyxeyebrows

[basicallyxeyebrows]

Well, at least it was a relief to see that she was no longer seething at him for what he'd said now that he'd clarified himself. It really was a problem that he tended to do that more than ever in this regeneration. But she still didn't understand. She just didn't understand.

"...No-- well yes, actually," the Doctor tried as he looked off to the side, attempting to be much more clear in what he said this time around. "Yes, I do think I ruined your life. You solved your paranoia by your own strength you didn't realize you had-- I had no part in that. You don't give yourself enough credit."

He returned his gaze to her, his tone frank yet still holding a resounding sadness to it, "But no, it isn't because of that. The mistake would've been because I can't take you with me again. Literally. Can't. The timelines are thin and close to breaking apart..."

As he trailed off, he looked down for just a moment, "Taking you with me now would tear the universe apart. And I'm already putting you at enough risk being here now."

Hello Again

Her gaze softened quite a bit as he spoke. Ok, so maybe she should have allowed him a chance to explain before going off the way she did. She really wasn’t used to the way he sometimes chose to word things in this regeneration, but she supposed she’d better get used to it.

He certainly wasn’t going to just change back into what she was accustomed to, and she didn’t expect him to change back. She only wanted to understand.

"Why would that have been a mistake? Is it… is it ‘cause ya think when you and me met all those years ago… that ya somehow.. ruined my life? Ya’ve said that to me before… in your tenth form, ya said it. I told ya then and I’m tellin’ ya now that’s not how I’ve ever felt. And that’s not how it is. Ya made my life better, Doctor. Ya did…”

She searched his gaze carefully with her own, hoping with every part of her that he really, properly understood what she was telling him.

"Whatever happened… it doesn’t change the fact that ya changed my life for the better. I was an overly paranoid idiot before I met you. I was afraid to leave my own flat in the mornin’ just to attend my classes… Ya made my life better, Doctor. Ya made me stronger… and I can’t have ya thinkin’ otherwise… not ever…”

[basicallyxeyebrows]

EXCUSE ME WHILE I FLY INTO THE SUN FIVE HUNDRED TIMES IN A ROW

//EVERYTHING HURTS

[basicallyxeyebrows]

There are tears I'm not even going to lie.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

I'm shaking my head in your general direction.

Shake your head all you like, I don't care.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

Oops. Looking back in hindsight, that wasn't something he should've said. In fact, that was probably the very last thing he should've said. Or rather, not at all. But of course, he didn't have the sense to realize that until he was watching her walk out of the TARDIS with venom in her words and tears staining her face.

Finally, it seemed to click, and he was quick to try and catch up with her, "Michelle! Michelle, wait, hold on, I didn't mean--" With a heavy sigh, he followed her out of the TARDIS, trying to find the words to explain, trying to find where to even begin...

He went silent for just a moment, feeling utterly daft. Even after all these years, another regeneration, and he was still unable to even say the right things. But he needed to try and clarify.

"Look, I say things. I say lots of things. Stupid, thick things. Things I want to say one way but ends up coming out another, wrong way 'round, all the time. Really, it's a problem." The Doctor knew he was beginning to ramble on, but he just didn't know if he could get down to saying what he needed to say.

With a small breath, he looked at her for a moment, his features turning quite solemn and, perhaps, even sad. Then he turned his eyes downward, being certain to say what he'd meant to the moment she stepped into his TARDIS.

"Everything we went through together mattered. Matters. I wouldn't be standing here, making myself look like an idiot if that weren't the truth," he went on quietly, carefully, eyes still downcast. "Even more the truth is that, uh... If you stayed on my TARDIS any longer, I might've made a mistake."

Finally, he looked up, terribly old eyes filled with brazen honesty, "I might've flew away with you again."

Hello Again

The bright smile on her face quickly fell in response to those last few words. For a moment, she wasn’t sure that she even heard him right, but the expression he wore made it clear. He wanted her gone.

Once again, Michelle was finding it hard to grasp that he was really the Doctor at all, even though she knew better. She just didn’t understand. Why did he bother to come if this was how he was going to be?

Why would he tell her to go in such a casual manner? The way he said it…. his tone… it was probably what hurt the most. Even more than the words used, it was the tone that really got to her.

"Really? So that’s it then, you’re…" she trailed off for a moment, not even certain where she was going with any of it, "—you’re just goin’ to tell me to leave like it’s nothin’? Like ‘oh no big deal’!? Like you and me, we…” and here it came, the inevitable shedding of tears. Why? Why couldn’t she just learn to not cry? Why was it so hard for her to not bloody cry in situations like this?

"—Like everythin’ we went through together didn’t matter at all, like it’s easy to treat it so god damn casually!?” A tear slipped down her cheek, but along with all that sadness, there was anger in her voice now.

"Right, fine. Ok, yea, you’re right. Absolutely. I will go.” she gave him one final glare before starting back out the way she came.

"It was great to see ya again, Doctor. Have a brilliant— fantastic life, yea!?”

[basicallyxeyebrows]

I don't care if it's my business she is in enough pain and sads and you're going to make it worse with your shitty attitude!

Shut up, will you just shut up already. You can't possibly understand a single thing.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

It is my humble opinion that the trash level in your general character rises ten fold every single time you regenerate.

Oh yeah, because your humble opinion means absolutely everything! Should I always consult you from now on, mister humble opinion?

[basicallyxeyebrows]

;____: Why are you telling her to leave!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, did I miss the part where that was supposed to be any of your business?

[basicallyxeyebrows]

Hazel eyes watched intently and carefully, measuring her every observation of his ship. He hadn't realized how eager he'd been to hear and see her reaction to the inside until she began to speak, each word sending an odd sense of elation throughout him. It was... Strangely refreshing. He couldn't even properly remember the last time he'd been able to do something like this.

Showing off for Michelle, one of the few people in the universe he could admit to himself he did still care for the opinion of. It was satisfying. And he had to resist trying to impress her more. He had to.

His lips couldn't resist twitching up just slightly, barely noticeable as he began to circle around the console, rambling on as he did so, "Lots of these books I actually nabbed from the Library of Alexandria."

With a small pause, the Doctor began up one of the sets of steps, making his way around to one of the shelves and nabbing a book, quickly flipping through it. "Humans lost a lot of books, but they were all terribly boring and, quite frankly, badly written. Not much of a loss," he said with a small scowl returning to his features before he tossed the book aside without much care.

The Doctor finally came to a stop on the other set of steps, "Rubbish reading, really, but makes for good, clever feng shui. Goes with the round things. Books and round things."

He was rambling and he knew it. It was what he did best when he wasn't sure what else to say. Or rather, he knew just what he wanted to say, but couldn't. He took a small breath before descening down the steps.

"Anyway, I really might have to ask you to leave. And quickly, no dilly dallying. In fact, that's exactly what I'm asking now."

Hello Again

Michelle bit back a smile as the expression on his face changed to one of an obvious sort of excitement— the very same excitement he always held when showing her his TARDIS. Some things never changed, she supposed, and that was good.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she promptly followed him into the ever familiar blue box, and as expected, it was a change that was just as dramatic as his own.

Ambient lights of blue and gold trickled down around them, and hundreds of books lined the walls that encompassed their very presence. Bold characters in circular Gallifreyan above the console brought the room together in a sophisticated sort of way that perhaps paralleled the Doctor in more ways than he realized, but then again, that was always the case, wasn’t it?

Focused blue eyes fell from the written Gallifreyan above her as he spoke again, clearly very anxious to know her thoughts on the change.

"It’s all sort of— sophisticated, yea? The books, the Gallifreyan, the way everythin’ is laid out.” her smile grew to show him her approval, “I like it. I think it’s beautiful.”

[basicallyxeyebrows]

you didn't have to be rude about it

I'm a very rude person, you'll just have to get used to it.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

do you still love her?

See, it doesn't matter what my answer would be, you humans and your tiny little brains would just interpret it as something else! Yes means no, no means yes, it's a bunch of hanky panky nonsense and I won't be having it. So just drop it.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

           & so from me to you                   HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

       santakira & beautifulbraveheart ☆       /     abitscroogey & bowtied        & wizardslightlyused ☆    /    abrideoffire ☆   /   agallantrose ☆   /        agentclntbrtn ☆      /       antlerxd ☆      /     aprxns & rxggedy ☆ /        aranearum ☆   /   areyoutellingme ☆    /  aroseintime ☆  / assct &        concussum ☆  /  astrigerum ☆ /  biochemisted ☆ / booksmarting        & ofwarriior ☆     /      brooklynrooted ☆    /    carryabarricade ☆ /        champiiion ☆     /      christmassythief ☆   /   compromisedasset &        adsurgo ☆        /       cursedthisway ☆     /     darkinherheart ☆    /          dominatrick ☆      /      dxrknesswillrise ☆     /    fallencomrade ☆ /        ferrodonna & theechogonawrong ☆               /             fiitzy ☆       /        from-human-to-timelord & rebornfromthevoid ☆   /    fxrtyfive ☆  /        goodmenhavenorules & iam-theinterfector & basicallyxeyebrows ☆

       heiressofdorne & changisms ☆           /          herroyaldarkness ☆ /        herunfailingkindness ☆              /                hohohopeforhumanity &        unrestrained-chaos & hoggormurinn ☆     /       iamthegoodson ☆ /        imhiscarer ☆ /   incredibleliar ☆ /   ironmxde ☆ /    justaburger ☆ /        killianns ☆ /    littlewinterdove ☆ /   lvlalfoy ☆ /  madeofwildfire ☆ /        madman-in-a-blue-box ☆ /      maidofwinter ☆ /     maimedlion ☆ /        malevolentqueen ☆      /       markofwinter ☆      /     marypoots ☆ /        mercying ☆     /     mettallic ☆    /    mistlepie ☆   /   mxtchstick  ☆ /        nevermisses ☆        /         nosignsofpain ☆         /         notadame &        ofpossibilities & bloodiedfur ☆ / notathimble ☆ / oceanwrought ☆ /        oflocksley ☆ /    ofgalliifrey ☆ /    pensivemercury ☆ /   punziiie ☆ /        pxntmercy ☆           /           pxrtisan ☆        /         queenxcersei ☆ /        romanaofheartshaven ☆ /    redcrowned ☆ /   regalae ☆ /  riddarii &        xpiemaker ☆ / rudolphslayer ☆ / russianonzebridge ☆ 

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        & to all my lovely followers                & to everyone i did not have the honour of individually greeting:

please know that i hope & pray only the very best for you all the same. you are so important & you are so necessary. you made it through another year. i’m so proud of you. i may not be enough to wipe away all the bad things but i hope & pray that, if for but a few seconds or minutes, this has made you smile — that for what it’s worth, you have this little moment of joy. remember the little moments of happiness and that for a blink of a moment of your entire life, someone wishes and prays only the very best for you. whatever you believe in, whatever you celebrate ( or if you don’t celebrate at all ), i hope you have a wonderful day !!!

                                             i love you very much. x

[basicallyxeyebrows]

Now that... Was a good suggestion, he definitely had to admit. He wasn't sure why he hadn't thought of it sooner. The interior was the best it had ever been, why not show it off? Besides, he was sure the old girl missed Michelle.

Without hesitation, the Doctor stepped back over to the blue box, "The TARDIS, yes! Of course. Oh, she's changed, alright. More changed than ever before. Still need more round things, though, never enough of them, y'know."

Lips turned up into a small smile, just barely concealing a certain excitement, "C'mon, c'mon, in we go, Miss Morris."

The Doctor turned without another word, reaching for the handle and pushing the door open. Proudly, he walked into the TARDIS, anticipating to see what had to be a brilliant reaction from her.

Just another step or two, and he turned to face her, hands finding themselves in his pockets and an expectant-- yet underlying smug-- expression filled his features.

"Well?"

Hello Again

Michelle watched him carefully as he moved about the room. It was obvious he was looking frantically for some kind of distraction— something to keep him focused away from her, and each and every word he spoke was solid confirmation as to why.

"Ya should know better by now than to tell me where I belong, Doctor, but alright, suggestions are ‘bout to be suggested. We don’t necessarily need to go anywhere at all if ya insist. We can stay right here and find somethin’ to do for a bit, I’m sure.”

She gave him a reassuring smile, hoping the words would work in distracting him from the unpleasant thoughts that clearly plagued his mind— even a little bit.

"Your TARDIS. Can I see how it’s changed on the inside? I’m sure it has, yea? Think I might’ve seen that interior change one or two times more than your face," she allowed a small, playful laugh.

At this point she was trying to distract herself just as well as him. It’s not like his words didn’t make her wonder what the hell he was talking about.

          They did.

                They absolutely did.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

You think she's gorgeous, you want to kiss her... You want to hug her... You want to love her... You want to hug her... You want to smooch her...

Oh, will you just shut up! You sound like a broken record or something.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU I'M GOING TO DIE OF FEELS

//I FEEL YOU, LAUREN. I FEEL YOU.

[basicallyxeyebrows]

And there came the question he knew would inevitably pop up. A question that he was sure he'd prepared for somewhere in the back of his mind, but now he was starting to draw blanks. He couldn't mess this up and give her very much knowledge about what had happened to him. It was a very finite set of events that couldn't be changed, not even in the slightest.

So he opened his mouth to respond, only to close it for a moment. He then decided to move away from the TARDIS and over to the nearby window. Perhaps he was stalling, looking out to see what was, admittedly, not that brilliant of a view.

After a short silence, he turned back to face her, "Twelfth. It's my twelfth. Although, who knows. Could be my thirteenth. Or fourteenth. I die a lot, you know."

Almost as a way to distract himself, the Doctor began walking around her room, looking at every little piece of furniture or decoration he could see, "Drowned this time. I've had worse, though," he paused, finally looking back up to Michelle. "A lot worse. But sometimes, there're worse things than dying..."

For a moment, he seemed to lose himself, expression caught up in past memories. Distant yet so very sad and empty as old eyes remained on Michelle's features. But it didn't last.

He shot her a quick smile before looking down as it fell slightly, "Usually now is when I'd ask you to come in the TARDIS with me. Go somewhere. Do something. Whole universe waiting kind of thing. But you don't belong with me. Ever. So I suppose I'd better find an alternative line to insert here. Which is gonna be... Tricky."

The Doctor's gaze returned to hers, "But I'm open to suggestions."

Hello Again

There was no telling just how long it’d been since he’d seen her. Clearly, if he was here at all, it meant something happened to her along the way. Again. And the thought of it sent dread coursing steadily throughout her body, but she absolutely couldn’t ask. Not only because she was frightened of the answer, but because she didn’t want to turn his visit into something he regretted.

Besides that…. if there was one thing the Doctor taught her, it was that time could be rewritten. Who was to say it couldn’t happen again? Her smile fell just slightly as she fought off any and all urges to ask about where she was on his timeline. She wouldn’t ask.

"Well, I’m glad ya came," she replied softly, her tone sincere in every way, "It’s actually been a couple of days now since I’ve seen.. well.. since I’ve seen any version of ya.” she trailed off for a moment, “But I’m guessin’ ya kinda already knew that…”

Thoughtful eyes fell for a moment. This couldn’t be something he wanted to talk about either. She wasn’t even certain she wanted to talk about it.

"Your face." she said suddenly, working to change the subject as blue eyes rose to meet his again, "How did it happen? Your regeneration, I mean? This is your twelfth form, right? Or…”

                     “—Thirteenth?”

[basicallyxeyebrows]