basil-joy

[basil-joy]

joke i'll never get tired of: "they died doing what they loved, [something no one would ever do on purpose]"

[basil-joy]

we need to invent a spray tan-style treatment but instead of spraying you with tanning stuff it sprays you with heavy duty spf. and it lasts a few weeks so that way you can just get your spf spray a few times a summer instead of having to spend 10 minutes every day getting sticky and oily and making sure the sunscreen is all rubbed in. how do i get on shark tank

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[basil-joy]

Me when a character starts experiencing an agonizingly, Horrifically, painful transformation :

[basil-joy]

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

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[basil-joy]

GET YOUR BODY OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE SO YOU CAN CREATE FROM YOUR HEART

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Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

[basil-joy]

you gotta watch out when theres an animal cause you literally might get sniffed

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"fruit has sugar" warning post reminds me of my coworker who told me to make sure I don't get "addicted to fruit". yeah i'm also addicted to a nice walk on the beach

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most basic treatments for sickness involve some form of salt water (drinking electrolytes, gargling with warm salt water, epsom salt baths) as a way of microdosing going to the seaside

[basil-joy]

i’m sick and tired of people pretending that burger isn’t delicious just to clown on americans. america deserves the ridicule, but why’s burger catching strays? burger did nothing wrong

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No, I am not 'hoarding craft supplies.' I am sourcing materials for a very big project that will be revealed to me at a later date- perhaps in a dream.

[basil-joy]

me seeing purple flowers on a lawn: that’s the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen

me seeing sunlight hit the waves of the sea: that’s the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen

me seeing raindrops sparkle colorfully on a bus stop bench at night: that’s the

[basil-joy]

TURN UP THE HARPSICHORD! I CAN'T HEAR THE HARPSICHORDD!

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The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[basil-joy]

they should invent a 2025 where good things happen