bbyromanov-blog

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[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: also free from uber hell mina: i got out early tho so mina: now i gotta walk

snapchat - open

bbyromanov !

mina: ok it’s always weird if the radio’s off mina: call me if u need 2 mina: then maybe mine’ll shut up

grazia: thank fuk im out of the uber now grazia: & i got pizza  grazia: so its all good ,, ,  wbu tho ?

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: cruel ): mina: i bet ur car will suck anyway mina: wine pls <333

snapchat - open

mina: oh i can drive mina: i just suck rly badly at it mina: but that’d be rly nice

AXEL: w……ell when i get a car you’re not driving it :)))) AXEL: ok good AXEL: any preferences ??

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: ur so mean 2 me mina: also mina: i’m going 2 the bar afterwards so

snapchat - open

bbyromanov !

mina: some meeting mina: idek man mina: i just do what mgmt tells me

xander: i bet u wish u were me rn … xander: …. laying in bed all comfortable :~) xander: but ok thats better than going 2 the bar tbh xander: bc if u were … we’d have a Major problemo  

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mina: how could u mina: are u drinking w/o me young man

snapchat - open

bbyromanov:

mina: nooo don’t disown me ): mina: i’m 2 cute 4 that

phoenix: idk i might have to phoenix: even if you are cute

[bbyromanov-blog]

" jesus, axel, how can i ? " she all but choked out, finally turning bloodshot, broken eyes to meet his. " i want to, more than anything, and that's the problem. " she set the can down next to her so that her hands were free to press against her eyes in an attempt to dry the tears that seemed a constant flow. " it'd hurt so much. ally'd hate me, mae would hate me even more, even my adopted parents don't wanna know me anymore 'cause of the drugs. " she took a deep, fluttering breath, her thin fingers finally moving away from her face. " and you. the only thing you'll ever feel when you look at me is high. how am i supposed to deal with that when the only thing i ever feel when i look at you is love? " she whispered. her eyes were unwavering from where they met his, full of desperation, not for him to make any grand declaration of love, she'd never expected that. she was desperate for him to understand, to let her run or hold her close, she wasn't sure. her trembling hands clenched into small fists as she heard the others behind them shouting that they were leaving, glancing briefly over her shoulder. " you should go. they're calling. "

mina’s breath shuddered, tears already rolling down her cheeks turning the ground below them salty. she shook her head, hair falling across her eyes in loose strands as she forced a small smile on her lips, as if it would distract from her mascara stained eyes. “ i know. ” she whispered, glancing at him for only a second until the searing pain in her chest was too much to bear, and her gaze fell back to the forgotten beer clutched in pained claws. “ i know you don’t. i-i told ally, she said i should tell you to know for sure. ” her eyes darted back to the horizon, still unsure where to look. “ now i do. i’m not asking for anything, axel, i just needed you to know. ” her heart lay in shattered pieces at the bottom of her rib cage, and it hurt so much they seemed to cut through her bones like knifes. she would’ve given anything in that moment to run away, to hide, to not say another word. for ally, she took another deep breath and found the courage to carry on. “ i just needed you to know that even though it all meant nothing, you only ever touched me when you were high, you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel worth more than what i do. i don’t want you to say it back, i don’t want anything more from you. all i need is for you to make her happy, okay ? don’t you dare break her heart. promise me that. i need you to go and make her happy, and that’s all i ask of you. i’ll be out of the frame, i promise. “

axel listened intently, his heart stopping for a moment when he heard she’d told allegra. he hadn’t realised it would be an issue, their hanging out. although, when he thought about it now, mina sleeping with her best friend’s ex didn’t sound like the best idea, and he cursed himself for getting involved in their friendship. he was good at reading emotions, and he could tell mina was beyond crushed. he looked away, opening his mouth to say anything, when she continued. his eyes found their way back to hers while she spoke. you’re the only person who’s ever made me feel worth more than what i do. this statement, although he should have expected it, still hit him hard. he hadn’t been doing anything out of the usual for mina, which made him realize only how badly she must be treated in her everyday life. “i - we’re not getting back together,” he told mina, seeing as though she seemed to think so. “i mean, we hooked up, yeah - but we were drunk, n’ she hates me, so,” he said with a humourless laugh. her final words, though, scared him. “what d’you mean??” he asked, worry dripping in his words, “we can still be friends, right?? keep having fun n’ fucking around?? i like having you around, mina, i want you to stay.”

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mina: nooo don’t disown me ): mina: i’m 2 cute 4 that

snapchat - open

bbyromanov:

mina: i mean theres a lotta ppl mina:  but ur right mina: none as fun as u boo

phoenix: i was about to say phoenix: i would have disowned you if said someone else

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: i mean theres a lotta ppl mina:  but ur right mina: none as fun as u boo

snapchat - open

bbyromanov:

mina: indeed u r mina: dont know what i’d do w/o u mina: i would b bored 4 starters

phoenix: thats right phoenix: life without me would be no fun phoenix: who else would u take care of when theyre completely wasted

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina's breath shuddered, tears already rolling down her cheeks turning the ground below them salty. she shook her head, hair falling across her eyes in loose strands as she forced a small smile on her lips, as if it would distract from her mascara stained eyes. " i know. " she whispered, glancing at him for only a second until the searing pain in her chest was too much to bear, and her gaze fell back to the forgotten beer clutched in pained claws. " i know you don't. i-i told ally, she said i should tell you to know for sure. " her eyes darted back to the horizon, still unsure where to look. " now i do. i'm not asking for anything, axel, i just needed you to know. " her heart lay in shattered pieces at the bottom of her rib cage, and it hurt so much they seemed to cut through her bones like knifes. she would've given anything in that moment to run away, to hide, to not say another word. for ally, she took another deep breath and found the courage to carry on. " i just needed you to know that even though it all meant nothing, you only ever touched me when you were high, you're the only person who's ever made me feel worth more than what i do. i don't want you to say it back, i don't want anything more from you. all i need is for you to make her happy, okay ? don't you dare break her heart. promise me that. i need you to go and make her happy, and that's all i ask of you. i'll be out of the frame, i promise. “

mina scrunched her eyes shut briefly, her gaze falling to where her hands gripped the can much harder than she needed to. she’d tried to say it before, once, but the words had gotten stuck in her throat, choking her and leaving them both in silence- she had been selfishly glad, last time, it meant she had longer with him, but it only made this moment harder. a twisted smile appeared on her lips when he spoke, but it was barren of humour, instead one of sadness, in the knowledge that he himself had very little. she didn’t blame him for not knowing, there was no way for him to hope when she knew in her heart, not even deep down, he didn’t feel for her. he didn’t get the same rush that overpowered any substance they’d injected, sniffed, swallowed, the rush that came from gentle touches and soft words that would leave red rimmed eyes gazing full of hope, addicted to the drugs, addicted to him. and that was okay, she thought. she’d been prettier when they’d met, she hadn’t been the junkie she’d become, she’d been free of emotional baggage, and he, the same. these thoughts swirled and beat at the sides of her brain until she managed to choke up the words, in the silence that had laid still for minutes, her watery eyes moving to stare up at the stars as if they might swoop down and take her with them. they were dead already, she remembered. “ i love you. “

axel’s hazel hues examined the female, worry starting to set in that something bad had happened to her. his brain was moving at million miles an hour and not all all at the same time - he ran through the possibilities for her pain in his mind, but he came up empty. he wondered if she had somehow heard of him and his ex’s drunken hookup several days prior, and wondered if this was something that would cause tension between the two of them. he knew how close girls could become, and would hate to be the cause of a falling out between best friends. axel watched her, opening his mouth to say something, anything to fill the silence that hung in the air, when her words appeared. he cut short, his breath catching in her throat as his heart froze. it then began to sink - she could have fallen for anyone, but it had to be him. the male closed his mouth, realizing it had been hanging open, looking down at his fingers picking at the ring of the beer can, his foggy mind attempting to formulate a response. to his understanding, they had simply become close friends who occasionally hooked up, but he began to realize how this could have been misinterpreted. he became incredibly cuddly and doting to those he cared about once the substances were in his system, and couldn’t remember the last time he was sober around the female. “mina, i-” he began, his breath catching in his throat again, unsure how to continue, “i’m not ready for a relationship right now,” he told her in a soft voice, as though it’d lessen the blow. “i love you like.. like a FRIEND, but,” he trailed off, his eyes finding their way back to hers to judge her reaction, “i can’t do this.”

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mina: indeed u r mina: dont know what i'd do w/o u mina: i would b bored 4 starters

snapchat - open

bbyromanov:

mina: i reject that mina: but i like u 2 mina: u would be an angel if u did

phoenix: take it from someone who knows phoenix: oh wow im honored :* phoenix: wait a min. im always an angel ok

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“ fine, fine. i guess you do deserve it. & home sounds lovely; you wanna come over for a little while ? “

bbyromanov:

“ well, if you insist. though you’re not usually the one to help me escape, i’m grateful. “

“ not exactly, but there’s a first time for everything. you can give me your thanks later in the form of a manhattan at blue dog’s. – so, where are we headed ?? home, i’m assuming ??  ”

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: some meeting mina: idek man mina: i just do what mgmt tells me

snapchat - open

bbyromanov !

mina: ur welcome mina: luv u lots rly <33 mina: but i’ll totally let u know from beyond the grave

xander: luv u 2 sis <3 xander: lmao u kno i got u back tho xander: where r u even going rn anyways ??

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: ok it's always weird if the radio's off mina: call me if u need 2 mina: then maybe mine'll shut up

snapchat - open

bbyromanov !

mina: honestly sometimes that’s worse mina: i don’t mind a bit of conversation mina: uber drivers are like the extremes

grazia: honestly the awkward silence rn is Killing me grazia: like i wanna call someone up just so i can talk grazia: plus the radio isnt even turned on ?? ://

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: i completely agree mina: u thinkin club or bar? mina: bc i’m thinkin i wanna dance

Snapchat ➝ open

bbyromanov:

mina: exactly mina: would def be waste of a gr8 look mina:  + i need 2 go out

phoebe: you need a night out phoebe: im all glammed up which is rare for me to do outside of events phoebe: so its a perfect match

[bbyromanov-blog]

mina: i reject that mina: but i like u 2 mina: u would be an angel if u did

snapchat - open

bbyromanov:

mina: excuse u i’m never a brat

mina: i am being nice

mina: i just don’t want to be

phoenix: youre a brat all the time phoenix: but i like you all the same phoenix: want me to call you so you can pretend youre busy?