beainamber

[beainamber]

drinking water when I have a headache should give instant relief. it should go away. what's even the point of drinking water if it can't do that

[beainamber]

im doomed by the narrative but the narrative is a bunch of conscious choices i've made in the past

[beainamber]

Is that a valid argument in your pants or is it just a phallacy?

[beainamber]

— Amazing Grace by Erin Hanson, 2025 (x)

[beainamber]

i can’t stand “it’s not that deep” attitudes like even if it really really isn’t that deep just PLAY WITH ME. just fucking PLAY. have a meaningless but deep analytical conversation with me. just like think about shit for fun. does anyone else like to think about stuff for fun. it’s so lonely

[beainamber]

love when a mother asks if they have ever done anything to hurt you. ma'am, you will literally never be ready to have this conversation

[beainamber]

[beainamber]

when I was a kid I wished I had nosebleeds. I had some friends who had them and I was like. that looks so fucking cool. you're just sitting there and suddenly you're covered in blood. it looks so dramatic. it looks so... and here my language failed me. at such a humble age I did not have the vocabulary to describe the sublime. I just sat in incomprehensible jealousy. I turned out totally normal by the way

[beainamber]

can something good and pleasant happen to me now please

[beainamber]

okay. enough jokes. i'd like to take shelter in the warmth of your gaze now

[beainamber]

I've been thinking about this all day.

[beainamber]

[beainamber]

summer 2025

When people love you they want to ease your pain

Your desire to be a sleek and independent and unwanting machine is unattainable and rampantly destructive

You can eat the serviceberries growing by the river they’re best when theyre dark red but not too dark red

[beainamber]

i want a mysterious source of income

[beainamber]

some people are taking "doomed" to mean "dead". this is actually a misconception! you can be doomed even if you don't die! it's sometimes worse if you don't die!

[beainamber]

Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980

[beainamber]

There is supposed to be a place where no one can reach you. Traditionally, the home, but now we settle for the ocean, the airplane, the summit of a mountain, the middle of a lake, the shower, the womb, the grave