beanfoolery-blog

[beanfoolery-blog]

shit my boyfriend says - sentence starters

❝  do you get the pun? do you get it?  ❞

❝  i’m tired and sore and just ugh.  ❞

❝  cuddling is the best activity.  ❞

❝  i really hope it didn’t make you jealous.  ❞

❝  i’m gonna fucking eat my own arms i’m so excited.  ❞

❝  it would be incredible.  ❞

❝  i would do terrible things on photoshop. memes… glorious memes.  ❞

❝  gay guys say damn skippy.  ❞

❝  for once i feel nice about myself.  ❞

❝  you know when i was like eight i went through this phase where i actually thought i was a vampire.   ❞

❝  end me.  ❞

❝  damn the things i do for friends.  ❞

❝  ugh i actually have to put sheets on my bed.  ❞

❝  i love running from the cops.  ❞

❝  yes unfortunately i’m serious.  ❞

❝  i love you a lot.  ❞

❝  stab me in the eye with a fork.  ❞

❝  i’m a brat you’re an asshole and we go perfectly together somehow.  ❞

❝  i don’t know how i didn’t smell the crazy.  ❞

❝  do you ever regret letting people into your life?  ❞

❝  end my sorry ass.  ❞

❝  i’d fuck the clock.  ❞

❝  i smell the gay from here.  ❞

[beanfoolery-blog]

I need a mun fc. Perhaps, just a banana? That might work.

[beanfoolery-blog]

Character solidifying!

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have? 2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have? 3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings? 4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient? 5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered? 6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child? 7. What was the economic status of their family? 8. How does your character feel about religion? 9. What about political beliefs? 10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted? 11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated? 12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations? 13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates? 14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected? 15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED? 16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike? 17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When? 18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember? 19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now? 20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced? 21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate? 22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner? 23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex? 24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? 25. What are their hobbies and interests? 26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance? 27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality? 28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice? 29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling? 30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive? 31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate? 32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively? 33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health?  34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous? 35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures? 36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering? 37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? 38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic? 39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid? 40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one? 41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony? 42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? 43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back? 44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them? 45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic? 46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body? 47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible? 48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish? 49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent? 50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

[beanfoolery-blog]

[beanfoolery-blog]

“Right. To the water closet.”

“I lost the baby…”

{🌼}  “What do you mean, lost the baby? You were only holding him for a minute!”

@beanfoolery

[beanfoolery-blog]

B99 SENTENCE MEME     ➔ episodes 1x04-1x06

“It’s my fantasy threesome.”

“So far you’ve managed to tell three fat jokes.”

“I’m sure the soft drink industry mourns his passing.”

“I can’t tell if what happened was weird or sexy.”

“I wonder how much your appendix weighs.”

“It’s questions like that that made Van Gogh cut off his ear.”

“If it’s okay, I’d like to be upset with you.”

“No more weird dead guy sex for me ever again.”

“It was like having sex with a transformer.”

“You can hate people and still think they’re hot.”

“I wish I could throw his cell phone in the toilet.”

“Bring air into your lungs like you’ve done your whole life.”

“How do you breathe? I forgot how to breathe!”

“Have you ever met a human woman?”

“I swear I will crush your head in one hand.”

“Why does he keep touching my butt?”

“Ultimately it was our raw sexual chemistry that helped him overcome his crippling fear.”

“Who wants to have sex with a tree?”

“You look like a homeless troll doll.”

“Can you magically make everyone kind, sober, and fully dressed?”

“What does your face taste like?”

“Halloween is Christmas for jerks.”

“…are you in my ceiling?”

“I laugh in the face of adversity!”

“Eggshell in the bra is not hot.”

“How’s the unwinnable bet going?”

“The baby who mugged me was pretty short.”

“Did you burn down a church?”

“Uh, I’m not a dumbbutt.”

“Are you trying to put pigeons into my air conditioning vent?”

“All right, I’m gonna go cry.”

“They caught him scaling the building with a blowtorch.”

“’I’m sorry about tonight’ - the name of your sex tape.”

“I got kicked out of ballet school for beating the crap out of ballerinas.”

[beanfoolery-blog]

As the other man began to ramble Mr. Bean’s head nods became slower and in a lower position. His nostrils curled up on one side in an expression of disgust. This man was a royal bore, talking about the man who he refused to give up on. Why didn’t he just marry him and get it over with already? At least then the two men would be happily confused with one and another. 

Mr. Bean thought that perhaps he should suggest the notion considering the other man didn’t seem to get it.

“Marry him,” Came his simple, grunt reply. 

"What the hell happened to you!?"

“Angered an unstable friend.. Not good idea.” The Doctor said slowly sitting up wincing.@beanfoolery

[beanfoolery-blog]

Mr. Bean threw a hand up in the man’s general direction as if he could hardly believe his stupidity. Who in their right mind would go mucking about with a friend who was unstable? That’d be like the time Mr. Bean took Irma back home for dinner and found out that she had a lot more in mind than chicken soup. 

"What the hell happened to you!?"

“Angered an unstable friend.. Not good idea.” The Doctor said slowly sitting up wincing.@beanfoolery

[beanfoolery-blog]

Mr. Bean bent with his hands on his hips to inspect the peculiar door. It didn’t seem to have any key in the lock nor a switch to open it. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have a key, would you?”

Twelve nodded at the other with a yes. “Oh that’s a relief,” said Twelve, glad to hear other’s statement, his hand lightly pressed on his chest.

‘’Now, please, if you could hurry?’’

[beanfoolery-blog]

“I didn’t lose him. I just misplaced him. 

Two, very different things.”

“I lost the baby…”

{🌼}  “What do you mean, lost the baby? You were only holding him for a minute!”

@beanfoolery

[beanfoolery-blog]

Written For you

Small starter meme.

Fluff//Romance “I’m doing this for you.” “You know you’re my one and only.” “I’m in love with you.” “I’ve always loved you.” “You’re the most important thing in the world to me.” “Forever and always.” “You’re my sunshine.” “I appreciate you.” “You’re so cute.” “You’re the most beautiful girl/boy I’ve ever seen.”

Secrets//Lies “I’m jealous of you.” “I’m in love with you, idiot.” “I never loved you.” “I don’t really like _____.” “You’re my hero.” “I’m in love with ____. Don’t tell them.” “I’ve never lied to you.” “I was using you.”

Angst “You don’t give a damn about me.” “Stop lying.” “Stop pretending.” “Get the hell away from me.” “I thought you loved me.” “I trusted you.” “You promised me!” “I needed you.” “I can never trust you again.”

Pain//Blood “You hit me.” “You shot me.” “You stabbed me.” “I’m bleeding.” “Everything hurts.” “I feel woozy.” “You’ve lost so much blood.” “You’re covered in blood.” “There’s so much blood.”

Flirty “You’re hot when you’re mad.” “Wanna come back to my place?” “You tease.” “You’re lovely.” “You look divine.” “How about a drink at my place?”

Innunendo “Do you like?” “Does that feel good?” “Give it to me.” “I like it rough.” “I have something to show you.” “Harder! Just like that!” “I’ve got a present for you.”

NSFW//Kink “Be a good girl.” “Come sit on Daddy’s lap.” “Push me down.” “Make it hurt.” “I wanna fill you up.” “Pull my hair.” “Choke me.” “You’ve been naughty, you need a spanking.” “Take it all the way in.”

[beanfoolery-blog]

“You can count on me.”

“I lost the baby…”

{🌼}  “What do you mean, lost the baby? You were only holding him for a minute!”

@beanfoolery

[beanfoolery-blog]

Send me ➣ and my character will react to yours slapping a pair of handcuffs on my character's wrists.

[beanfoolery-blog]

Llamas with Hats sentence starters (pt. 1)

“There’s a dead human in our house!” “Oh, hey, how did you get here?” “Me? Hey- I didn’t do this.” “Explain what happened!” “I’ve never seen him before in my life!” “Why did you kill this person!” “I do not kill people- that is, that is my least favorite thing to do.” “Tell me exactly what you were doing before i got home.” “So I was upstairs, I was, ah,uh sitting in my room, reading a book, and this guy walked in…” “…So I went up to him, and I stabbed him thirty-seven ties in the chest!” “Dude, that kills people!” “Oh, wow, haha, I didn’t know that would kill him.” “How could you not know that it would kill him?!” “Yeah, I’m in the wrong here. I suck.” “What happened to his hands…? Why are they missing?” “I ah, kind of cooked them up… and ate them!” “Look, I was hungry, and when you crave for something, well,” “My stomach was making the rumblies…. that only ____ could satisfy.” “What is wrong with you?” “What on Earth was all that?!” “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say.” “You sunk an entire cruise ship!” “Are you sure that was me? I think I would’ve remembered doing something like that.” “I SAW you fire a harpoon into the captain’s face!” “That sounds dangerous.” “You were shoving children off the side of the ship!” “That must have been horrifying to watch.” “Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!” “Thank God the children were not there to see it.” “Why is the floor all red and sticky?” “Would you believe it’s not blood on the floor? That it’s strawberry milkshake? Melted gumdrops? Some of God’s Tears?” “Tell me the truth!” “It was the lovely elderly couple from room 2B.” “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” “They were taking all the crescent rolls.” “I will not apologize for art.” “Where is everyone else?” “Whoa, you won the prize! I didn’t even notice that!” “Looking at the trajectory of the moon and sun, the rest of the people are probably at the bottom of the ocean. I put holes in the lifeboats.” “Okay, okay, I have a problem, I have a seriously problem.” “You are just terrible today.” “Shh, do you hear that? It’s the sound of forgiveness.” “That’s the sound of people drowning, you idiot.” “Ah yes, the sound of forgiveness: screaming and then silence.”

[beanfoolery-blog]

accidental affection

send me ✗ for my muse to fall on yours and land on top of them

send me □ for your muse to fall on mine and land on top of them

send me ♕ for your muse to get dared to kiss me

send me ♢ for my muse to get dared to kiss yours

send me ♫ for your muse to catch mine singing in the shower

send me ♩ for my muse to catch yours singing in the shower

send me ♡ for your muse to drunkenly confess feelings to mine

send me ☽ for my muse to drunkenly confess feelings to yours

send me △ for my muse to get trapped in a small closet with yours

send me ❅ for my muse to cuddle up next to yours while asleep on the couch

send me ❥ for your muse to cuddle up next to mine while asleep on the couch