beatrix-quinn - Tumblr blog

[beatrix-quinn]

hello, neighbor!

today i'm excited to finally reveal to patrons something i've been working at for months: the main theme for susan taxpayer!

if you'd like to hear this track now and get access to updates on all my upcoming work, your name in the credits of my releases, and/or behind the scenes breakdowns of my creative process—or if you simply want to help support my art—you can sign up at:

patreon.com/BeatrixQuinn

as always: thank you for sharing, for supporting, and for being!

with care, bee 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

the thing about envy is it robs the other person of their full humanity. you see only the thing that they have that you want, to the complete exclusion of any suffering that came along with it. you see their skill but not the frustrating years of trial, error, and self-doubt. you see their success but not the long train of failures that came before—and after. you see the love but not the loneliness, not the heartbreak and abuse, not the trauma and death and grief.

seeing clearly the cardboard cutout of a person that envy imagines—glossy, flawless, devoid of depth—betrays the true nature of envy: the illusion of a life without suffering. and by recognizing this for the fantasy that it is, you can begin to see the full humanity in the other once again. the rush of running late. the night spent restless in bed. the day passed in boredom and the month lost to illness and the cry heard by no one. the quiet memory of sitting alone, when the full moon's glow and the calm autumn air reminded them of better days to come. 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

hello neighbor! happy valentine's day. :)

you know i had to ring in the occasion for the girlfriends! for today and tomorrow (2/14-2/15), the soundtrack for SLARPG is half off!

(i've been planning this for weeks, but given some wacky timing, 100% of the profits from this sale will be going toward fixing the plumbing where i live. 🥲)

get the album here!

and remember today—whether you're romantic or aromantic, sexual or asexual, dating or single: you are loved, and you are complete. 💕

with care, bee 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

hello neighbors! today (2/2/2024) is bandcamp friday, which means 100% of music sales go directly to artists. if you would like to support my ongoing work on current and future projects like susan taxpayer, today is the perfect day to purchase any of my music.

thank you for listening, for sharing, and for being. :)

with care, bee 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

hi taxpayers! it's been a while.

last month's christmas SAGE update for susan featured a new level featuring a surprise cameo from everyone's favorite, groceries! here's the music that was featured in that level.

the demo OST on bandcamp has been updated to include this track, and as before it's pay-what-you-want. get it here!

Did You Know™? patrons got access to this track early, and they get Secret Updates© on Susan Music©®™ and other projects of mine! if you have a few extra bucks and would like to help support my work, consider joining at:

patreon.com/BeatrixQuinn

that's all for now! and remember...

Always Be Cshopping!

thank you to my patrons, especially: Bobby Schroeder · Digamma-F-Wau · Marceline · Morgan Amaranth · Punkitt · sailor_retrograde

[beatrix-quinn]

howdy neighbor! you read that headline right: after many months enjoying the role of susan's title card music, "signrats" is being retired. (the short version, for non-patrons, is Legal Reasons.)

i know, this development is a bittersweet one. but rest easy! the game has gotten a new, original jingle to take its place, with all the 90s sitcom energy you'd expect. 🎷✨

patrons of all tiers get to hear this new tune first! if you have a few bucks to spare, and you'd like to help support my work on susan taxpayer, consider becoming a supporter.

until next time! 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

Title: Because I Loved You Game: Super Lesbian Animal RPG Platform: PC Composer: beatrix quinn

[beatrix-quinn]

Super Lesbian Animal RPG's physical soundtracks have been out for a bit now, so here's the full, unobstructed illustration of the Sapphire Islands from the back cover!

[beatrix-quinn]

hi @blongus64! thank you for your question. and no apologies necessary; Very Long Posts are kind of my specialty. :B

i really appreciated the comparison you drew between making visual art and making music, and i want to bring your attention first to that piece, because you gave some very interesting examples:

"i want a harsh… almost parasitic implication, so i'll use lurid, sickly colors and haphazard lines." "i'll use soft, dull blues, because that's what winter looks like."

the question i want you to ask yourself is this: "where did i learn the idea that This emotion looks That way?"

your art comparison reminded me of a conversation i recently had with someone dear to me who illustrates. they brought up an idea they've picked up from various art instructors over the years, which i'll paraphrase to the best of my recollection:

when you try to draw an apple, you're not just thinking about the object that's right in front of you. you're thinking about the idea of An Apple. that idea is shaped by every apple you've ever seen or eaten—the places and people and feelings attached to those experiences. so when you're drawing from a reference, you have to set all those associations aside and learn how to look at what's in front of you so you can recreate it accurately.

as you mention drawing still life in your ask, no doubt you've practiced this skill already. but what about when you draw a scene from your imagination, or paint something wholly abstract? when it comes to representing certain ideas in your art, the reality is that how you depict them is a choice formed by association. you choose soft, dull blues for a melancholy winter, because those are the colors you see when you look with your mind's eye.

but for me, i associate melancholy winter most with dark greys, and rusty pinks from light pollution in the night sky. someone else might picture the dizzying white reflection of sunlight on snow. these can all be "correct" ways of evoking this feeling you've given as an example, so long as it's true to the artist's subjective experience.

my point is this: just as you can choose to represent one idea visually in a myriad of ways depending on how you look, you can choose to represent an emotion through music in a myriad of ways as well. and that means this:

if representing an image requires learning how to look, then representing a sound requires learning how to listen.

the simplest and most immediate way you can start doing this is to critically listen to the music that evokes the feelings you are trying to capture.

say you have a favorite song that really captures the feeling of melancholy for you. listen to it very carefully. what choices does it make musically? consider this an incomplete list of questions you might explore while listening:

what are the tempo and rhythm like? how do they contribute to the song's feel?

is the arrangement sparse or layered, bombastic or subtle?

what kinds of instruments are being played, and when? which ones take the lead and which ones stay in the background?

how would you describe the music's texture and atmosphere? dark, bright? spacious, intimate? electric, acoustic, synthetic? what elements contribute to that?

how does this song relate back to music history and tradition? can you identify any of its musical and cultural influences? does it fit firmly into a genre, or does it blend different genre elements? does it attempt to defy convention altogether? (does it succeed?)

what is notably absent? how does excluding certain elements serve the song's intended feeling? (after all, landslide would be a very different song if it had drums and bass.)

you might notice these questions are generally not rooted in music theory. make no mistake: music theory analysis is useful, and if you wish to build your musical vocabulary, it's worth practicing it when you can. but that kind of practice only gives you colors for your palette. it will not teach you how to paint what you feel.

if you want to learn how to use those colors, first you must really think about the music that embodies the feeling you want your music to embody. what about This song makes you feel That emotion? think about the sounds around you in everyday life. what sounds make you smile? what sounds evoke boredom, fear, anger, sorrow?

idiophones sound tender to me, so i might reach for a kalimba or music box when scoring an emotionally intimate scene. a I major chord followed by a bVII dominant is dripping with wistfulness to me, so i like using it for bittersweet moments. jagged synths and metallic noises make me uneasy, so i employ them liberally when i want to elicit dread or panic.

these are just a few colors from my own palette. just like my idea of An Apple, they are informed by my experiences, my culture, and all the music i've ever heard. these are the associations that the body forms over a lifetime; you've lived a different life, so you may have different associations for these sounds. and that's okay! what matters is that you pay attention to what sounds make you feel, and stay true in your attempts to represent those feelings.

i should also mention that i didn't figure out how to use my palette overnight. i rarely get it right on the first try. music, like any creative endeavor, is equal parts work and play, and it's the lessons learned from play that serve the work later on. with exploration and practice, you will get better.

so listen carefully. figure out which sounds correspond to different emotional responses for you. this will become your palette. as you experiment, you will learn which sounds are your melancholy blues and which are your haphazard lines. it simply takes mindfulness, a careful ear, and time.

i realize this is only a first step, but i hope you find it helpful. if it isn't, let me know, and maybe i'll do better next time. i'm still learning too. :)

with care, bee 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

i can't believe it's been a year.

in celebration of @slarpg's first anniversary since launch, just for today, i'm making the game's soundtrack pay-what-you-want with NO minimum. type in $0 and it's yours.

if you've wanted the game's music, but couldn't afford it, this is for you. (and if you catch this too late, please don't hesitate to contact me—i'll send you a link.)

thank you so much for an incredible year. 💓

enjoy:

tinyurl.com/slarpgost

[beatrix-quinn]

TODAY ONLY!

happy december! today (12/1) is bandcamp friday, where 100% of sales go directly to artists. in light of this and the upcoming first anniversary of super lesbian animal RPG, i've decided to put the album on sale today for $7 USD!

that's nearly three hours of music for a single digit amount of money! (has she completely lost it? no, she just needs to pay rent. 🥲)

if you haven't picked up the soundtrack for SLARPG, now's the perfect time.

get it here!

[beatrix-quinn]

hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.

as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)

but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:

changing expectations

the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!

my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.

when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.

so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?

with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.

with that in mind:

#1: work slower

when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.

instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.

i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!

now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.

doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.

however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:

#2: switch projects

sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.

this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.

the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.

what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.

but it doesn't have to stop there.

#3: switch focus

maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?

let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:

what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?

and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?

what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?

any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.

or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.

but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:

#4: learn something new

when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.

for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)

it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)

that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:

music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang

mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix

general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!

(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)

of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:

#5: consume art you love

not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.

but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.

and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.

what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.

as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.

none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.

and finally,

#6: rest, and live your life

let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?

take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).

it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.

i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.

when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)

before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:

be kind to yourself.

being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.

i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.

i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.

thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.

with care, bee 🐦

[beatrix-quinn]

Is the SLARPG ost free use or would I need to receive express permission from you to use it in a video for example?

the short answer is SLARPG OST is free to use so long as you provide credit, and you don't need to ask for my permission first!

the slightly longer answer is that SLARPG OST is published under the following creative commons license:

there are only three stipulations with this license!

give appropriate credit to me by name (beatrix quinn), unless it is one of the following tracks:

"melody's plan to get super ripped" (track 5): credit devi mccallion OR blacksquares "you'd think our flag would be green" and "greenridge theme but 37% softer" (tracks 6 and 9): credit beatrix quinn and thom wall "dissected program" (track 60): credit decibelle

(i prefer if when crediting me you also link to my website or blog, as well as to the SLARPG website, but that's not a specific stipulation for this license and you're not gonna be in any trouble if you don't.)

the work must not be commercial in nature. NOTE: i put this stipulation in place mainly to protect my work from opportunism and abuses by corporate entities. it does NOT mean you're not allowed to, for example, monetize a youtube video that analyzes the music or has it playing in the background, or sell a remix (with proper credit) on bandcamp! by all means, so long as whatever you're making is transformative in some way and not a straight-up reupload without any alteration or commentary, and you want to monetize that, you have my blessing. if you're not sure about a specific use case, feel free to contact me!

the work must also be published under the same creative commons license (BY-NC-SA). once again, this is mainly to protect my work from other entities swooping in and claiming copyright for it. it does not mean you have to license your remix, commentary, analysis, or video that just happens to use SLARPG OST as background music under the same creative commons license if that's not your jam. (though it would be incredibly based if you did.)

that's basically it! if you have any questions, feel free to follow up. otherwise, go nuts. :)

[beatrix-quinn]

The Susan Taxpayer Demo OST has been put on Bandcamp!

pay-what-you-want with NO minimum! get it TODAY™!

in other news,

my patreon is now live!

perks include:

TOP SECRET UPDATES on susan taxpayer's music and sound design

behind-the-scenes process breakdowns and livestreams

retrospectives on the soundtrack for SLARPG

monthly synth presets and SFX to use in your own projects

and EVEN MORE©®™!!!

JOIN IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT!

[beatrix-quinn]

CDs are officially shipping!

i'm so in awe that these are real!! i got to meet up with turtle pals tapes' own PJ last weekend to sign 30 copies, which will be slipped into random orders for a lucky few. very surreal (and nerve-wracking!) to be doing this sort of thing, but it's a real joy as well. thank you so much for the continued support and encouragement! 💓

there are still copies left to sell, so if you'd like to order the full soundtrack on 2xCD set, you can do so here!

vinyls and CD+vinyl combo orders should start shipping in january 2024. stay tuned for that update! til then ^^

i am thrilled to announce that the soundtrack for @slarpg is getting a PHYSICAL RELEASE on CD and vinyl! this limited pressing is being produced by Turtle Pals Tapes, featuring newly refined mixes which have all been fully remastered by Angel Marcloid (engineer for artists such as lemon demon and tally hall), plus album artwork by @ponett herself!

pre-orders ARE NOW OPEN HERE! in addition, you can get the newly remastered digital version of the album (or re-download it from your collection as a free update) on bandcamp any time.

thank you for listening! 🎵

[beatrix-quinn]

The Susan Taxpayer Demo OST has been put on Bandcamp!

pay-what-you-want with NO minimum! get it TODAY™!

in other news,

my patreon is now live!

perks include:

TOP SECRET UPDATES on susan taxpayer's music and sound design

behind-the-scenes process breakdowns and livestreams

retrospectives on the soundtrack for SLARPG

monthly synth presets and SFX to use in your own projects

and EVEN MORE©®™!!!

JOIN IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT!

[beatrix-quinn]

aivi & surasshu - periphery (surasshu's solo)

from our new album "Meanwhile", available for preorder on bandcamp now!

periphery's solo took an extremely long time to get right, i spent sooo many iterations on it. i wanted to challenge myself by making it very dry and clean and up front, to play to the strengths of a tracker solo and demonstrate what it can bring to the table 😄