beautifulxxxbones - Tumblr blog

[beautifulxxxbones]

I miss that time in the summer when I was thin and the weather was nice and everything seemed ok. I miss the bones and wearing childrens clothing that became baggy on me. 

I'll get back there. 

Its not so far from where I am now. 

It's not out of reach. 

Nothing is. 

I'll do it. 

I'll get back there...

[beautifulxxxbones]

i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into cash

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[beautifulxxxbones]

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[beautifulxxxbones]

The demon is back.

  Relapse. Yay. I thought I was doing well. I was doing well.

   I was 92lbs. I was able to conquer the demon within for a while. I was eating healthy and feeling better about myself. I moved and shit changed. My life is out of control again. On my way back down now. It should only take me a month or so to get back down to 92.

  I look forward to it.

[beautifulxxxbones]

[beautifulxxxbones]

It's comforting to have a place to go where I know there are others who understand. No one around me understands. I'm trying to get better and I want to get better but I can't. And then I decide, maybe I don't really want to get better after all. I can't stand the thought of gaining weight. It's scary.

  I've lost almost 80 lbs. I will never go back to the way I was before, but I'm not sure I want this either.

  I wish I didn't need food to survive. I push myself to the edge and I get scared. I come close to fainting all the time. I don't know how long this can continue. But I have no choice right now. Well I guess I do have a choice... and I still choose to live this way.

  For everyone out there who feels the same... you're not alone. We have each other.

[beautifulxxxbones]

[beautifulxxxbones]

My World | via Tumblr on We Heart It. http://weheartit.com/entry/65594507/via/micasmiles

[beautifulxxxbones]

Maxi Díaz - Iska Ithil | via Facebook on We Heart It. https://weheartit.com/entry/62800943/via/bex_walker_90

[beautifulxxxbones]

[beautifulxxxbones]

[beautifulxxxbones]

[beautifulxxxbones]

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