beautyoftears - Tumblr blog

[beautyoftears]

A Little Bubble

A/N: This was definitely inspired by Porter Robinson's song Something Comforting and something that I have personally dealt with. So enjoy :)

Synopsis: She was living in a bubble created by her toxic lover. To only realize that the comfort she needed wasn't the one that her lover was providing. A world full of lies.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of cheating, lying, gaslighting, toxic relationship, parties

___

Lily grew up in a small town, had the same friends since elementary school, and did not venture outside of what she was already comfortable with. Why would she want to move out of her little town when it already had what she needed? A grocery store, clothing store, thrift store, etc. there was everything she ever needed in that small yet relatively big town. All of her friends, her family, and her significant other.

During her senior year of high school she knew that her family wanted her to go to college but she did not want to be too far away from the people that she loves. So she tried to spend all of her time with them, hoping that it'll be easier for her to move out to college but she realized that was not the reality of it.

"Lily you have to go back out there and make some new friends." Her mom stated as they were grabbing some ice cream.

"I know that but it's just so comfortable here. I have everything here, it's nice and peaceful." Lily grabbed her ice cream and was hesitant on taking the first lick. Worried that if she licked it, she'll be starting anew.

"I want you to leave this town. There isn't anything for you here, no matter how comfortable you are here. We will always be here, your family will always be in this town there is no need for you to worry," Lily's mom stroked the back of her head. Lily knew that she was supposed to go out there and make some new friends especially in a town that she does not know and that none of her friends were going to. Her anxious attachment made her not want to do anything that will risk her relationships here at home.

Later, she was at a party that her girlfriend was at. Her girlfriend had always been the one that made friends and was always outgoing but she was in the same boat that Lily was in. She just didn't know it. It wasn't until after the party when she was taking her girlfriend home that maybe she was going to need a change in environment.

"Look Lily, I support you going to college but for your mom to tell you to leave this town is outrageous! I'm still here and I don't think I'm going to be moving very soon because I still want to stay with my family," Her girlfriend stated, "On top of that I want us to live together and I don't want to be too far away from my family."

Lily's girlfriend had a demanding tone to it but when Lily tried to tell her that moving away might not be a bad idea because they both grew up in that town.

"I really don't care. If you want to move then you can move without me, we're already going to be breaking up because you're going to be far away." Her girlfriend did not want to change her mind.

Lily felt scared in that moment, she didn't want to lose someone she loved but if they weren't trying to open their mind she didn't know what else to do. She wanted to at least bring her comfort person with her.

Lily was walking into school when one of her friends came up to her. Telling her that they saw her girlfriend on a dating app. Lily didn't know what to think of it and decided to talk to her girlfriend about it.

"Don't worry. I'm just trying to make some new friends."

"I'm not cheating on you I promise. There isn't anyone on here that interests me anyways."

The lies that she believed because she didn't want to lose a form of comfort.

Nearing the end of senior year she had confronted all of the cheating and hurt that she went through. Her girlfriend obviously lied and gaslit her into thinking that those weren't her intentions even though she's outright said that she would think of cheating on Lily.

Lily had gone through months of gaslighting and lies until she finally decided to break up with her. Unfortunately she didn't come to realize this herself she had to talk to one of her friends about it.

"Lily. I've told you this multiple times there are reasons why no one is friends with her! She's treating you exactly like this and you expect her to change or even love you?! She does not! If someone really loves you they will never EVER think about cheating on you!" Her friend threw her hands in the air after hearing the games that Lily's girlfriend was playing on her.

"It does look bad but this has all happened in the past. I feel like she's changed by now..." Lily was still covering for her.

"Lily... you can love whoever you want but they do not have to love you back. I get it that she is your comfort person but she cannot be comfort when all she does is hurt you. I see that you're always scared around her... you do not want to be with someone who scares you..." Her friend put Lily's hand in hers. "I care about you and I want you to be happy."

Lily was really thinking over her relationship. Of course there was good moments but those good moments were not out weighting the bad ones. A lot of those good memories were only coming from the first couple months of their relationship... the honeymoon phase. Lily had decided to discuss her boundaries with her girlfriend and she had already knew that her girlfriend was not going to accept it.

"You didn't respect my boundaries so why should I respect yours?"

Those were the words that Lily carried with her until the day they broke up. Which was on graduation day.

"Look Lily. I'm just saying that if you wanted to be comfortable you shouldn't be wearing a dress that shows your ass and tits like that. You always want to wear clothes like that and I don't get it." Her girlfriend really had to comment on what she was wearing when all she was doing was making a remark.

"All I told you was that my dress rides up so much. It's not even that serious..." Lily clicked her tongue to her comment.

"Yea and I'm telling you that if you're going to complain then don't wear the dress." Lily's girlfriend started to sound demanding.

"Whatever." Lily sighed.

"Yea whatever. It's not like you ever cared about my boundaries anyway." Lily's girlfriend started to stomp away.

"Okay cool. It's not like you cared if you ever had a girlfriend anyway." Lily finally made the comment, "We're over! I'm tired of you and this damn relationship!"

"What did you just say?" Lily's girlfriend turned around and started walking towards her.

"I said we are over! Done! I don't like you anymore you toxic piece of shit!" Lily shouted at the top of her lungs so everyone could hear.

"You're a bitch and so fucking embarrassing," Lily's girlfriend stopped in her tracks just to turn around and walk away again.

Lily had walked across the stage as a single lady.

After her graduation, her girlfriend had blown up her phone asking if she was okay and how crazy she was at her graduation.

"You're crazy. I cannot believe that you just did that to me! Your girlfriend of all things."

"If this is about moving out of town I'll move out with you. Just don't leave. I promise that I'll change, there isn't anyone else in this world that I would want anymore than you! Only you can deal with me."

"I'm leaving you. I'm tired of this, of you and everything else that you have brought to me."

Lily had blocked her. She felt like she had popped the bubble that she was trapped in, finally able to see the world with the bright colors that was always there, and finally able to be the person that she had been looking for.

___

A/N pt. 2: honestly this is probably really bad but honestly this is a rushed version. If wanted I can go into more detail but as of right now this seems alright :)