becauseiamnotanelephant - Tumblr blog

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

conversations

I feel like parents often say they love it when their kids are old enough to have conversations. I agree, it's fun to actually talk to Hannah like a real person and mostly talk about real things. But it is still frequently not so far off to think that I'm living in an insane asylum. Hannah is learning so many things that I think her brain is just a jumble of information and our random conversations are her processing facts and practicing her new vocabulary.

For example, allergies. We've discussed them before because she has several cousins with various food allergies. Today we read a Daniel Tiger story about allergies, and that gave her a little more information about what I am talking about when I say that if Talia has walnuts it "makes her sick". Fast forward to dinner time and Hannah has a 15 minute conversation, mostly with herself, about the sun and the moon. She talked a lot about how the moon blocks the sun (linking back to the eclipse, I assume), how there are 2,600 moons and suns (I never thought about the fact that she may not realize that there are just one sun and moon and they are the same ones we see each day and night), and how the moon breaks apart - sometimes it's a circle, and sometimes it's just half (wow! it's crazy to see how her brain processed the phases of the moon), and ended up telling me about all the people we know who are allergic to the moon.

Honestly, I know she is ready to go to school and I think it will be good for both of us. I think that mostly I am going to miss having context for everything she talks about.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Calling all crazy moms

I have been making some mom friends, but at the end of the day, it's going to be hard to find moms that are like me - you can call it crazy but I don't really think it's that crazy. I took Hannah to Brooklyn again today - she wanted to go back to Grand Army Plaza and I planned a month ago to go and see my friend Dorothy, anyway, so it was a good convergence of plans. Since Dorothy wasn't able to meet until later in the afternoon, I decided to walk to Brooklyn from Penn Station.

I wanted to do the walk and I thought Hannah would like going over the Manhattan Bridge. We had a great time seeing all the thousands of things to see in Manhattan, she liked the visuals of walking over the bridge and seeing the subway trains, and of course, seeing Lady Liberty. The walk up Flatbush was a bit of a slog after everything else but it actually goes really fast considering all the neighborhoods you walk through. We got to see my dad, we sat in Grand Army Plaza for lunch and to read the Knuffle Bunny books, and then had fun at Mt Prospect Playground (I have never heard of or seen this park!) with Dorothy and her kids before heading back to New Jersey. Ten miles of walking later, Hannah and I were both pooped. I think it takes a lot out of her to take in so much and see so many people (and walk up and down so many subway stairs) and of course it's a lot of walking for me, while pushing a stroller with a 35 lb person sitting inside. If it was easier to navigate NJ Transit with my bike, the bike seat, and Hannah, I would LOVE to ride with her around the city but it's just a lot especially when we end up on the train home during rush hour.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

A moment of adult-interaction

I went to the city tonight to attend my friend Ahmet's birthday at a Turkish restaurant. I don't understand how people find these restaurants given the thousands that exist in the city, but the food was great and I was even able to navigate my gluten free, dairy free, and passover-restricted diets. I really just knew Ahmet and another friend of ours, Jeff, so Jeff and I were able to catch up. Unlike my life, which revolves around mostly 3-year old activities, Jeff had many updates - he just unexpectedly quit his job, he was going to Japan, and he was doing his last ride with the SIG this coming weekend. While he has much more life experience than I do, I have a lot more recent experience in life changes that affect your definition of self, so he had a lot of questions for me, and it was actually just nice to talk through navigating all the changes especially when they happen all at once.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

X-Rye

After a trip to the ER this past weekend, I had some hesitation calling the doctor again to report another Hannah-related injury....last night as we were reconfiguring the furniture, the coffee table tipped over and landed on Hannah's foot. Screaming ensued and her foot was totally swollen and bruised. I have limited but fairly recent experience with broken bones, but enough to know that bruising like that is a bad sign...This morning she was not demonstrating that she was in a lot of pain and was jumping on the trampoline, but I called the doctor anyway and they sent me to see a pediatric orthopedist. I was able to get an appointment today, so after a strange drive through Paterson, we arrived at the doctor's office. The doctor was very nice, was very good with kids, and Graham's game of "statue" paid off, as Hannah had to sit very still when she got her first x-rays (X-ryes, as she calls them(?)). No broken bones, and we can resume our regularly planned activities.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Maxing out

Tonight we hosted a seder for 22 people. After having rearranged all the furniture in the house and effectively switching the living and dining rooms, I think we've figured out the maximum number of people we can fit in one room for a sit down dinner. Maybe if I reorient the tables I can squeeze in another 3. It's pretty impossible to lead a seder with 6 kids under 6, but we did pretty well. Next year I'd just opt for doing it on a Saturday so no one has to go to work the next day and no one is rushing home from work to arrive on time, but other than that, it was a success! Thank god for gluten free matzoh, which made it possible for me to enjoy this holiday.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Shrinky Dink

It was possibly the most un-earth day activity, but we stopped by the library for an event that turned out to be making shrinky dink key chains. Putting the issues of melting plastics aside, it was a really fun activity - I can't believe I've made it to 42 with never having done a shrinky dink project! Hannah has been getting pretty good at coloring in the lines and getting very focused on her drawings, so enjoyed the coloring as it's own activity, but then when she saw what happened to her pictures and how they turned into cuter versions of themselves, she was hooked. I think we have figured out the activity for this winter's birthday party! Anything where kids can make their own favors is a bonus in my book.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

scoping things out

Our neighbors have lived in their house for about 30 years and now that the wife has retired, they bought a house in Asheville and put their house on the market. They are really nice, love Hannah, and the husband is the former mayor of Montclair, so is well-connected and knows a lot of local history. We'll be very sad to see them go and are optimistic that the new owners will be normal, and even better, may be people with kids and could be a family we want to spend time with.

Today was the second day of the open house, so we stopped by to check it out. We've been on the first floor a few times and saw the chaos of the moving-out stage of the process, so were impressed with the transformation. It's a nice house and larger than ours, but not really our style and not really the layout that I would have wanted. But they had a lot of interest, as every house in Montclair does, and I'm sure there will be many offers. The realtor was a little ridiculous and provided snacks (!?) and even had cookies made in the shape of a Christmas tree to represent the huge tree in the front yard that is a beacon of light over the holiday season. Apparently they are including in the terms that they would like tree to remain as-is. It would be nice, but hardly enforceable.

Fingers crossed for some good new neighbors later this year!

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

earth day festivities gone awry

We spent the day running around trying to make the most of all the earth day activities. I don't know why everyone plans events on the same day, but there were four separate events all over the area today and nothing planned for tomorrow. We made it to two events - one at Van Vleck, where everyone knows Hannah from our monthly classes, and one at the Environmental Center, where we got to see Hannah's great teacher Heather, who goes by "Mama Shark, and her friend Alice and her cousins who came out on this great day. The girls had a lot of fun with all the activities - animals to pet, treats to eat, tadpoles and frogs to look at, and even a pretty advanced Alice in Wonderland themed play on climate change that Hannah sat through, twice!

During the day Hannah got hurt climbing out of a repurposed row boat; I assumed she had just bumped herself but then when I saw blood in her underwear the day took a turn and we ended up in the pediatric ER. Hannah was in heaven, watching two hours of TV, and it turned out to be a superficial cut that will heal on its own, but theoretically worth the $1000 bill to confirm there was no other damage.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Knuffle Bunny

We have finally discovered The Knuffle Bunny book and then, two days ago, that there are two other books in the series. We are very big fans, and the fact that the stories take place in Park Slope (with some views of "The Statue of The Liberty") is a special bonus.

After a week with four days of good morning outdoor bike rides, another day of riding in the basement, a morning workout, and a dance class, I took the morning to sleep in to give my body a break (yes, in Hannah's bed). But there is no rest for the weary and I decided to take this clear day on our calendar to take Hannah to Brooklyn to the scene of the Knuffle Bunny exchange (Grand Army Plaza).

We took the train to the city, walked to Union Square, took the subway to Park Slope, and walked to Grand Army Plaza to read all the Knuffle Bunny books (we definitely brought a heavy load with these three hardcover books). It was fun to show her exactly where things took place in the stories. Then we stopped at the central library and spent the rest of the afternoon at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. The cherry blossoms were in perfect bloom as were the tulips. I feel like we need to come back next week to see all the cherry blossom petals on the ground and to see the lilacs in full bloom. Maybe!

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

theoretical good news

I had a saline sonogram today to review the scarring left after the last two surgeries I had earlier this year. The verdict is that I don't need another surgery, so we are one step closer to the moment of truth and closure so we can move on with our lives.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

playdate attempt #2

We saw the girl who came over yesterday again today at the library for lunchtime story time. It was good until it wasn't, which seems to be the name of the game. Hopefully school and time will help address these issues of sharing.

After a long day full of activities, Graham came home early and I was able to take a dance class. Hannah has wanted to see my dance class so Graham took her and she sat in the front of the class and watched. During the 15 minute warm up, she had a strange facial expression that I interpreted as "what the hell is this?" But once the choreography started and real music started playing, she felt the rhythm, took her socks and shoes off, and was all in. She spent the next 45 minutes dancing and watching herself in the mirror until Graham realized it was 8 PM and time to go home. At which point she screamed all the day down the hallway, down the stairs, and down the block to the car. We need a wedding or some other event to attend so we can have a real dance party.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

More everything, community edition

Today we had a playdate (sharing disaster...), biked to a secret garden in Montclair (beautiful!), biked to dance class, biked to say hi to the chickens at the community farm (watched them eat worms and saw they laid 2 eggs!), and went to another community band performance. Bedtime is still late given that Hannah doesn't nap any more, but it is a breeze. She is asleep in less than 5 minutes after hitting the pillow. Long gone (I hope) are the days of the bedtime bullshit of calling for me every 5 minutes.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

The days of doing everything

The weather is perfect - the ten days or so a year where it's warm but not hot, no humidity, no bugs, and cool breezes. So these are the days to do everything and limit any time indoors. I went for a ride this morning, biked Hannah to an outdoor storytime, took her to a playground before lunch, we walked to swim class, and then walked home and drove to spend an hour at the zoo before it closed. We also ate all our meals outdoors and took another walk after dinner to see if an old little tikes car I saw on our drive home in someone's garbage pile was functioning and not disgusting. Check and check! Getting home was painful and exhausting (pushing the car with Hannah inside and pulling the stroller behind me) but I was happier to walk than drive there.

Spending so much time outdoors gave us many opportunities to realize that something was going on a few blocks away - lots of cop cars, a helicopter hovering above, closed streets....turns out there was a domestic violence related issue that led to someone shooting a cop. I am not really worried as it seems like a very isolated incident, but it's not great timing for my neighbor who is putting there house on the market this weekend.

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Garden Barter

The family that lives down the block has a daughter a few days older than Hannah. She tends to be very whiny and a real debbie downer for a 3 year old, but does consider Hannah to be her best friend. Her parents are very nice but it's hard to connect with them sometimes because there daughter is the youngest of 3 kids and they just operate on a different schedule.

They spent their honeymoon working on organic farms around the US for nine months and now live in a house that doesn't get enough sunlight to support a garden due to too many large trees. I was talking to the mom last week and came up with the idea of doing some community gardening at my house - I could learn a few things, and they could get the chance to do some gardening and get some fresh vegetables. The couple was totally into the idea, and came over today to check things out. It was helpful for me, and apparently I have a lot of things already ready to set up a successful garden. We planted a few seeds and I think we're off to a good start!

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Library entertainment

It was a windy, cloudy, and chilly day so other than forcing Hannah out to the farmer's market, we were stuck inside most of the day. I was getting fed up so took her to the Nutley library to another random music performance. This one was by the Florian Schantz Jazz Combo - I thought it was a band where kids were performing, but I was ten years too late. Florian, the trumpet player of the band, started it when he was 9 years old but now he's 21 so it's not really the kind of novelty experience I was expecting. But they played an hour of Louis Armstrong music and it was really fantastic. Unfortunately an hour is a bit long for Hannah to sit still and it was about 5,000 degrees in the library, so I was anxious to leave too (and was sweating), but we both really enjoyed it and I learned a few facts about Louis Armstrong, too!

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

Project complete

I attempted to finish this in January. Here we are, almost mid-April, but it's finally done! Not sure Hannah will always care about it but for now she says "I love it!"

[becauseiamnotanelephant]

North Korea

I've been picking some heavy subjects to learn about this year. A friend of mine has a list of books on her blog that she recommends; one was a story about North Korea. At the start of the year I realized I don't know much about this place so put that on my list. I just finished one book on the subject and it is pretty crazy to learn about what people endure in that country. Starvation, brain washing, lack of education, and a general sense of fear among so many other things. The story I just read about a girl who escaped is filled with terrible accounts of human trafficking and endurance of near impossible feats to get to South Korea alive (and with her mom). It's hard to imagine that her story took place after I graduated from college and not 100 years ago.