bechaerin

[bechaerin]

@beseira

seira was quite excited about being at waterbomb, all the performance were amazing, and seira could stare at the stages and hope that would be her one day. plus, she was along a friend which made it all even more fun. it wasn’t her first time at waterbomb, and last year went pretty well, so seira was assuming this year would go pretty good as well.  “it’s nice to be out of practice and not having to work” seira shakes her head slightly “if i’m not practicing, i’m working, or at least that’s what it feels like” she shrugs. “but yeah, as much as i love practice, it can be kind of nice to do something else, something that’s fun in another way” seira smiles to chaerin. “ah well” seira places a hand on her stomach “i am kind of hungry to be honest” but when was seira not? she could always eat, never felt full, she used basically all of her money on food.

chaerin understood the struggle of juggling between training, work and just life in general. it's why she had quit her job as a teacher's assistant as soon as she became a trainee. it's not like she had three bodies. eventually, she knew it'd tire her out, so she had to learn to let go of a few things here and there.

that's why she wanted to take seira out. she wanted to show her that it was important to train, yes, but it was also crucial to learn how to juggle everything else in life as well. "we can always say it's research, too! we'll be watching artists perform and can apply it to out skillset as well." with that, she gives seira a playful wink.

"oh! there are a bunch of food trucks around! if you're really hungry, i think there were some steak cubes, but if you want a lighter snack, i think they had hot dogs and whatnot!" chaerin only had a brief view of the options around, but there had to be something that would satisfy seira.

[bechaerin]

chaerin nodded in agreement because she understood where hyeran was coming from. when she first started out as a trainee, she was definitely more concerned with getting the basics down first. it was after all that when she really started dipping her toes into songwriting.

"i've written a few things here and there!" she says with a nod. "with the help of a lot of other people, of course." there was still a lot she could work on, and she still found it difficult to fully write a song from start to finish without a bit of help. however, she's been trying.

with a hum, she tapped her pen on the notebook in front of her, lost in her own thoughts for a moment. "lyrics have always been the easier part for me, but i kind of want to expand my thoughts. try writing about things that i haven't written about yet." she hated to admit it, but chaerin's songs all had a similar theme or vibe to them. she wanted to be able to explore something new, and she's hoping this workshop would help with that.

becoming a jack of all trades was hyeran’s goal. she wanted to be good enough at just about anything. prepared for almost everything. the workshops available to the axis labels’ trainees provided her were always entertaining but also useful in furthering and bettering herself as a wannabe idol.

“i’ve tried,” she tells chaerin with a short laugh. “nothing good, not really,” hyeran confesses. “it’s low on my priorities list, i want to make sure i’m a good singer and dancer first,” she tells the other. besides, how often do idols even get to contribute to their own music? “but definitely something i’m interested in! what about you?” she asks, curious.

[bechaerin]

she understood why this festival may be appealing to some people. chaerin just, unfortunately, did not fall under that crowd. however, she was a people pleaser—more like friend pleaser—and she couldn't say no to her friends. that's how she finds herself here one more year.

"exactly! i think it's pretty nice out here! it's not like the idol is going to notice me just because i'm like five feet in front of them." perhaps a big reason why chaerin wasn't very into waterbomb was because she wasn't big into idols. well, she wasn't disinterested in them, but she wasn't a fan like some of the other people here.

the only thought that kept crossing her mind was how she was going to get home if she got more drenched than she is now. in her current state, she could probably dry herself off and take the subway or something. however, if she were to get any more wet, she doubts the other people on the subway would like her near them.

"deal!" she says with a chuckle as she watches sooyoung steal a drink. "what do you like so much about waterbomb anyway?" she asks with a slight scrunch of her nose before taking another sip of her slushie.

“you say that like i’m holding you hostage.” sooyoung lifts her brows over her sunglasses, half a grin curling at her mouth as she swirls what’s left of her iced drink with a straw. “i told you—you’re the one who said you’d come! i was fully prepared to be soaked and alone with some guy’s armpit in my face the whole time.”

she’s teasing, of course. it’s not that bad. but there was a very tall, very overenthusiastic fan two rows up who kept jumping and splashing half the crowd with their water gun like they were in a battle royale. sooyoung had taken a direct hit earlier- her hair still smells faintly of whatever perfume they were wearing.

“honestly though, the back’s kind of underrated anyway.” she leans back against the railing, turning her face up slightly toward the sky. “you get a breeze. your drink survives. nobody elbows you in the ribs. what more could you want?”

a beat passes, and sooyoung looks over with a mischevious glint in her eye.

“…besides the entire idol lineup ten feet from your face, obviously.”

she steals a sip of chaerin’s slushie before she can protest. “mmm. okay, deal. let’s head back in a minute before you melt into the pavement.”

[bechaerin]

✦ * ·  ˚ @behyeran

something chaerin learned early on in her trainee life was that she genuinely enjoyed writing music. it's fascinating because she would've never imagined herself doing so unless she became a trainee. it's funny how things work out.

so when she heard that lime was holding a workshop on lyric writing, she just knew she had to participate. she's gotten some help from their trainers and have written a few songs on her own, but a whole workshop on lyrics? it'd definitely help her in the future.

"have you written anything before?" she asks gently to hyeran who happens to be sitting beside her. chaerin's aware of a few other trainees who have dived into songwriting before, but she's not sure if she heard anything from hyeran. "it's kind of cathartic if you're interested," she explains with another soft chuckle.

[bechaerin]

✦ * ·  ˚ @beseira

"it's nice to get out of the practice rooms sometimes, don't you think so?"

the biggest perk of waterbomb, in chaerin's opinion, was simply being out in a vast area with the sky shining brightly. sometimes, chaerin couldn't even find the time to take a walk outside with all the practice she has. so, this was a nice change of things.

seira hadn't been a trainee as long as she had, and chaerin wanted to ensure that she didn't spend as much time locked up in practice room like she did. sure, improving and learning new things was important, but chaerin also wanted to show seira that sometimes they just needed this fresh air.

"is there anything you wanted to do first?" there were food stands and a bunch of people around with their water guns. it was enough for chaerin to simply be here, so she wanted to give seira the option to pick and choose what they did next.

[bechaerin]

✦ * ·  ˚ @besooyoung

waterbomb.

again, chaerin's not the most impressed with the festival. she's met her fair amount of rude people who were mostly there to squirt water guns to other people. her? she liked to be there for the music, but she also preferred to stay in the back, so she didn't have a bunch of people squeezing her to get closer to the stage.

it's why she finds herself lounging around in the back, a water gun in her hand and a slushie in the other. "i wish i could see some of the artists closer up, but i don't want to be in the middle of that huge crowd," she stated with a scrunch of her nose before turning her head to sooyoung.

despite not loving waterbomb, she couldn't really say no when someone asked her to accompany them, and this year it was sooyoung. they decided to take a quick break from the performances to quench their thirsts and simply get away from the growing crowd. or more like she asked to, and sooyoung was nice enough to oblige. "i promise we can get back in there once i'm done with my slushie."

[bechaerin]

chaerin lets out a rather exaggerated gasp upon hearing the villager before gently shaking her head. "i get that. i had apple on my island once and felt my heart breaking when i had to let her go. but hey, they have to leave someday!" again, she didn't actually play all too much, but she did have the experience of sending someone she loved away.

at the question about her trainee period, she lets out a groan before puffing her cheeks up. "i think it's been over two years now? almost two and a half actually," she explains. chaerin can't believe it's been so long herself. there still weren't any signs of a debut happening any time soon, so she tried not to think about the time she's spent as a trainee, afraid it'd bring her down.

"we all know there's no such thing as seniority when it comes to actually debuting." it was the harsh truth, but chaerin knew this when she agreed to be a trainee. "though, it is getting a little tiring these days."

"it was audie," sua says, voice scandalized like she couldn't believe what she was saying. "she's been on my island since day one. it felt like i hurt her feelings." the artist will not admit to the pout that's building on her face the more she talks about the game. "i've let some go before...i let hamphrey go because i had someone else just like them. but audie? it felt like betrayal."

sua scoffs. "that's annoying," she mumbles, frowning. it makes sense in the grand scheme of things. sua might not have been a trainee for very long, nor has she cared about the inner workings (much less general workings) of the idol industry-- but that line of thought makes sense. doesn't make it any less aggravating of an idea. "how long have you been a trainee anyway?" sua asks, tilting her head. "longer than...some of the vybe guys right? should i complain about seniority?" she's joking, tacked on be the crook of her lips to form a bit of a smile.

[bechaerin]

JEON HEEJIN ⋆˚｡⋆ 240721

[bechaerin]

✦ * ·  ˚ NON-TRAINEE SELF-PARA chaerin digs through a few of her old paintings and reflects on how far she's come.

if someone were to ask chaerin two years ago where she imagined herself after graduating college, she would've answered graduate school or studying abroad. that was the definite answer for most art students, anyway, and it's everything she had dreamed of when she took on this path as an artist.

however, here she was. still in south korea, having graduated from college, and training as an idol trainee. there are moments when she wonders if she had taken the wrong step, especially when she sees some of her peers who have gone off to do incredible things like hold exhibitions or participate in some great galleries.

but she also knows that she would've regretted not taking this chance. if it falls through, she could always go back to painting. picking up an old journal from when she was in college, chaerin has to admit that she wasn't bad. she got this far, didn't she? plus, she always had a few offers back when she was a student as well.

a few lost years may be rough when she wants to get a job, but she thinks if she goes to graduate school instead, it wouldn't be too bad. of course, she's not hoping that this idol thing doesn't work out, but she's slowly reached a point in her life where she has to start thinking of alternatives.

this industry was fickle. there was always something new on the market, and chaerin had no clue what's in the minds of these lime executives. with a newly debuted boy group, would they want to debut a girl group any time soon? would they be willing to ship her off to sr media or studio delta instead if they were to take that step before lime?

these were all questions she didn't have the answers to, but she does know where her skills as an artist lie. sure, she may have fallen off the path for a few years, but she's confident she'll be right back on track if she has to.

[bechaerin]

chaerin knows better than anybody else what having too many thoughts could do to someone. it's taken time for her to get out of that mindset, but now that she has, life has become so much easier. she's learned that most of the what if's that she has popping up into her head are completely worthless as they never actually happen.

"that's kind of a focus in sr media, right?" despite coming together as axis labels, chaerin was aware that each company still had certain areas that they liked to focus on more. sr media was, evidently, pretty big on acting. she's kind of glad that lime isn't because she could never imagine herself as an actress.

yuwol, however, she thinks is different. she thinks he's special. he has so much potential that she'd love to see him more out there. that's the whole reason she's here to give him that push right now. "you're never a downer," she reassured him before giving him a soft pat on the back.

"ooh, a script? i don't think i've ever read an actual script before." with that, she reached out to ask for it, showing him that she's here to help him in any way she can. "don't expect me to be some great actress, though. i'll probably just read whatever lines you need me to."

it's hard fighting with a mindset that has been engraved into him since early childhood, disregard the belief that he can't do anything but play an instrument, having no worth other than that object and how he plays it. it's because of seo ran that he started believing in himself, even though he didn't get the results he hoped for after next gen.

"i feel a little pathetic because of this... but i can't seem to get the idea of failing again out of my head." he mumbles, admitting some of his inner thoughts to chaerin. he feels bad that she has to listen to him mull over something he should be over by now, considering he managed to get into sr media after next gen anyway, but it's a moment that's permanently stuck in his head—what if it happens again? even if this is on a smaller scale, he knows the feeling of acknowledging his own failures despite being so close to reaching a certain goal.

"there are a lot of talented actors in sr media... then again, that is one of our focuses anyway." it's strange how they decided to create this drama when most—if not all—of the female trainees are busy doing god knows what.

"you're right, even if i mess up here, i should take the opportunity to improve myself later down the line." he nods, giving chaerin an appreciative smile. "i'm sorry you had to hear me being such a... downer. i do have the script for the audition in hand, will you... help me practice?"

[bechaerin]

"i was hoping to get more progress done on a song i've been writing, but i haven't been able to get much done," she admits with a shrug. chaerin's so used to being up at a late hour as that's when she was mostly inspired as an art student as well. she didn't think it would change when she changed paths and became a trainee, but she also didn't expect to find herself roaming around the company at this time so often.

her eyes grow a little wider at jaeyoung's sudden outburst. she wasn't entirely invested in the personal lives of her fellow trainees, so she hadn't expected it at all. for a moment, she wonders if it was a mistake on his part, and she should ignore it and move on. truthfully, she doesn't exactly need to know which vybe member is his boyfriend anyway.

"must get a little lonely, then," is what she decides on for a reply. considering that vybe had just debuted, there's no doubt that his boyfriend must be busy. "do you get to see him often at the building? i feel like i haven't seen any of them in so long, and i'm practically a part of their debut album," she says with a snort, referring to the song she had participated in.

returning his gaze back to chaerin, he listens to the other speak as he downs his can of soda. they're not usually the correct remedy when it comes to feeling thirsty, but he's out of water and he wants something sweet and fizzy anyway. something to wake him up a little, even though his mind is already racing, too used to the late nights and witching hours. briefly, he wonders how long he'd have to keep up with this routine.

"it's only during these hours that i can work on personal projects," he hums, stretching his arms a little, nearly tipping the soda can over in the process. he steadies it when he realizes though, jay doesn't want to make a mess—despite usually not caring, if it's within the confines of his own apartment. "when it's filled with the hustle and bustle of trainee life i have to follow their schedule." he's not exactly complaining, it's what he signed up for—but he does hope there's a little more color to his routine!

"so you were working on something too? practicing a little extra something?" he questions, even though the answer is kind of obvious. no one just sticks around for nothing, unless she overslept or something. he's not privy to that information!

chaerin mentions the other trainees debuting, and blinks. "tell me about it, one of them is my boyfriend!" maybe he shouldn't have said that out loud—it's not like he mentioned which vybe boy was his boyfriend anyway. it's a good thing no staff came by though, not that jay was thinking about it. instead, he finishes the soda in his hand.

[bechaerin]

chaerin nods because sua's words are true. after becoming a trainee, she's found it difficult to enjoy singing on its own as she's constantly thinking about how to improve instead. "was it a villager you really loved? usually, i just let them leave because i like the idea of seeing new faces on my island, but i understand people who keep a tight roster as well."

while chaerin wasn't much of a gamer, her younger sister had introduced her to animal crossing, and she found the game relaxing enough to grab her attention. it didn't require any extra skills or whatnot and was just a great way to spend her time.

the thought of her debut always lingered at the back of chaerin's head, but with vybe's debut, it seemed quite unlikely for lime to debut another rookie so soon. "maybe? i'm not too sure," she admits with a slight shrug. "they just debuted a boy group, so i feel like a girl group won't be debuting in a while. you know how fans can get when a rookie debuts so close to another rookie." with a scrunch of her nose, she let out a quiet sigh.

"it's kind of liberating though, no?" sua asks. "being able to freely sing without the worry of someone telling you do better." it feels like being normal again-- just friends using the karaoke room and laughing about their voice cracks rather than worrying about the extra lessons they'll have to put in.

"it does! that's like, my baby," the sigh that sua lets out is long-suffering, looking more and more like a disgruntled cat at the thought of it. "the last time i opened animal crossing, one of my villagers asked to leave! because i wasn't around. it made me feel so bad." sua had promptly said no and then turned off the game, unwilling to see if any other villagers were going to do the same. it's just a game, but going from gaming damn near everyday to only a few (maybe!) times a week feels wrong.

it is tough. but sua was raised on tough love and learning from dumb, reckless decisions. it feels like a challenge she has to overcome-- because really, if sua can land a position in a group out of lime? she'd be set with connections. sure, she'd sacrifice a few more years to tight restrictions and a controlled management, but afterwards? she could likely afford art school and enough power to get herself off the waiting list, right? hell, she might even be able to skip art school entirely if she plays her cards right. it's the long fight, but sua's good at fighting.

"true. the outcome is worth the high stakes trouble." the artist says after a moment, humming as she playfully knocks her elbow into the other girl. "you'll make it one day. you're good at it." and maybe that's chaerin's years of work she's put in. sua's not even made it a year yet. "it'll probably...be soon for you, maybe? they've got you doing a lot of things, even as a trainee." chaerin's probably the most notable trainee under their roster, if sua's been paying correct attention.

[bechaerin]

chaerin understood where yuwol's concerns came from because she shared the same thoughts back when she first became a trainee. in the beginning, everything feels like a challenge, and she couldn't tell what she could or couldn't try. the trainers liked to tell them not to hesitate, but that was much easier said than done.

however, she's gotten past that phase now, and if she were a little more interested in acting, she would've taken her chance at this audition herself. but seeing that it wasn't one of her interests, she decided to take a step back and instead encourage or help out others.

"i doubt any of the other trainees are much better actors, really. we're all on the same boat, aren't we? sure, we might get some acting lessons here and there, but i don't think that really matters. it's probably why they're holding this audition for the trainees to begin with. they just want to see the pool of potential actors they have!"

she wasn't entirely sure if this was encouraging enough, but she really didn't want to see yuwol not give it a try simply because he felt like he was lacking because it simply wasn't true. "i think you should go for it. worst case scenario, you don't get the part but the next time an acting gig comes up, they'll get to see how much you've improved!"

yuwol has never been someone who's strong in the self-confidence department. if he was ever forced to sit on the hotseat of a therapist's office, the root cause of the problem would be discovered as his parents drilling into his head that he'll only ever amount to anything when he's playing a specific classical instrument. he has been slowly straying away from that mentality, finding other things he enjoys doing.

it's because of chaerin that he believed in himself enough to throw his hat in auditioning for the axis labels company in the first place. it's unsurprising then, that chaerin ends up talking him into participating in another audition, this time for a drama that sr media is heading.

"it feels a little too... sudden?" yuwol tries to relay what he's thinking in his head into words. back then, it was never fully coherent and yuwol had virtually given up trying to speak his mind. lately though, he has been getting better at it, especially when he's talking to chaerin, whose patience knows no bounds. "i feel very... new. inexperienced, because i'm new. surely there are others who can do much better than me... trainees who have been here longer."

he scratches the back of his neck, slightly embarrassed with himself. "i don't think i'm good enough of an actor yet. does that make sense? not enough to be a supporting cast either... maybe someone in the background? but that would kind of be a blow to my self-confidence," he tries to laugh it off.

[bechaerin]

she can't help but slightly frown at how jaeyoung's opening up a can of soda at such an ungodly hour, but it's not like she's close enough to him to go full-on nagging mode. "yeah, time does seem to fly when you're working on something." chaerin's gone through the same thing when she stayed back to work on a song.

letting out a hum, she followed his gaze to stare at how dark it's gotten outside. the axis building was buzzing with lots of different activities. as much as the executives tried to keep things on the down-low, it was pretty easy to tell when something big was about to happen.

that's all to say that chaerin felt a little discouraged that she wasn't next in line for whatever big project was coming up. she's heard of trainees who trained for five to six years before finally making their debut, and she can't help but start to believe that she might fall into that category soon. that is, if she even gets to debut at all.

"that's also true. we're all just left here to work on things before we're picked up to potentially debut." the words sound a little bitter leaving her lips, so she tries to lighten up the mood with a soft chuckle. "it's kind of odd to see the people we trained with finally debut, don't you think so?"

it's late into the night, not that jay has been keeping track. he never pays attention to the clock whenever he's in the axis building—he never does, period. there's no one around to remind him to come home these days though, what with his sister being busy and his boyfriend only texting him once in a blue moon, usually before he was going to crash into the bed himself.

at least after following his up-to-date training schedule, he can stick around the studios mixing something. unfortunately, that habit of his often ends up consuming a huge chunk of time. before he knows it, it's already dark out and everyone had cleared out of the building. well, almost everyone.

he knows he should be heading back, but he decides to get a drink from the vending machine first, a treat for the journey home ahead. someone approaches him though, luckily jay isn't out of it enough to mistake her for a ghost. "oh, me? i could say the same to you!" he opens up his canned soda, letting it fizz out for a moment. "honestly, i just lost track of time. woah, when did it get so dark out?" he questions, peering out the windows before turning back to the girl.

"i mean, i was training, then i was writing things, and then... i think i got too lost in the music. there's not much else to do here besides training though, is there?" he sighs, shrugging his shoulders.

[bechaerin]

✦ * · ˚ @bejaeyoung

with the debut of lime's boy trainees, chaerin couldn't help but feel more and more impatient. however, realistically, she knew that it'd be a while until a girl group were to debut, which meant that all she could do for now was continue to wait and practice.

she's been wandering around the axis labels building after getting in some late night practice on her own when she stumbles upon jaeyoung lounging around himself. taking a look down at her phone, she frowns because it's quite late, but it isn't too surprising to find another trainee around at this hour.

"hey," she says gently before carefully approaching him. despite jaeyoung participating in next gen, she never had a chance to personally coach him, so she's only seen him around after he's become a trainee. "what are you doing here so late?"

[bechaerin]

✦ * · ˚ @beyuwol

although chaerin's heard about the acting gig that was available to trainees, she had never been interested in the field, so she had no thoughts of auditioning. however, she was always around if someone needed that push to get them going.

that's how she ends up sitting around with yuwol, convincing him that it wouldn't be a bad idea to give it a try. she could sense that he was on the fence about it, and she wanted to let him know that she thinks that he should go for it.

"what's holding you back?" she asked before settling into her seat beside him. ever since meeting on next gen, chaerin's taken on this role of being yuwol's number one supporter. she saw his potential back then, and she still believed in it, so she simply wished for the best when it came to yuwol. "everybody auditioning is a fellow trainee, after all. there's no way they're going to be much better actors, anyway," she stated with a chuckle.