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◜✧ This month, I will stay strong through every challenge.
◜✧ I refuse to give up on myself, no matter how hard it gets.
◜✧ Every day, I grow stronger and closer to my goals.
◜✧ I trust my journey and believe in my own power.
◜✧ Giving up is not an option in May I am meant to rise and thrive.
◜✧ I trust myself, and I know that this May will be full of progress.
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UMMMM did i just catch you making decisions based on a MAN?? i better not have. stand up girl, thats not it.
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is it just me or do y’all keep looking at the news and the absolute state that our fuckass government is in and have to go reconnect with nature because you genuinely cannot believe this is real life
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ONE OF YOUR GIRLS - JJK
one shot, mature, 18+
warnings: toxic jk, cheater jk, crazy-in love mc, fingering, cheating,
☆☆☆☆☆☆
PART ONE
you've always liked him.
at first it was a harmless, innocent crush on him. your brother's bestfriend.
you genuinely thought it would pass once you grow up. yet by each year passing, you would like him more.
he's a part of this family, always around. his smell lingering around the house, his laugh echoing and even his gentle voice.
which explains why you saw half of the girls he dated, went out or hooked up with and you're definitely not his type - you know it and it hurts you at a different level.
all the girls he ever went out with were skinny, you, on the other hand, are chubby in your thighs and belly; not that you're insecure. you actually adore your body.
his girls were tall, his height or shorter than him by an inch. while you were short, your face reaches his chest.
his girls resembled models and you resembled anyone than models; body wise.
his girls were mostly blondes, you're a brunette, a proud one.
his girls had an edgy vibe going on, those cool girls that most of the girl aspire to be.
although you were always jealous of those girls, you always thought they were actually stunning and gorgeous.
☆☆☆
everytime he's around you would get nervous on the inside but on the outside you played it cool.
no matter how cool your brother's bestfriend is or how down bad you are for him. you never show it because genuinely at the end of the day he's just a man..
however you do throw innocent hints, always giving him doe eyes, whenever he calls you by your nickname you blush and you never hide it.
whenever he picks you up because your brother couldn't, you would ask him nicely to take you to the grocery store. you would insist on paying but he never allows it. such a gentleman.
but those small hints you threw at him stopped for five months straight, since he officially started going out with a girl.
she's definitely his type, however this one wasn't as sweet as the others. she was two faced. Good thing they ended things.
and now you're back at throwing those subtle hints. for example whenever he flirts, he's a natural flirt.
you make sure to flirt back, he always showcases an amused expression on his face everytime you flirt back because he thinks you're an angel. you're his bestfriend's younger sister who had a crush on him.
which you took to your advantage, sometimes you would ask him for a favor. coming to your apartment to fix something, buying you some stuff from the grocery store - he never says no, no matter where he is or what the time is.
which explains right now, it's 2 a m, you called him asking him to come fix the light on your living room since it broke.
it's been broken for 2 days, first day, you called your annoying brother, Jimin. he started making excuses and said to call his bestfriend.
second day, you tried to fix the broken light yourself, only to end up injuring your left hand causing a big cut.
and now you decided to call him, at 2 a m, a Friday night. you knew he was out when he answered your phone, from all the chatter and songs playing through the phone.
to be fair, you were supposed to go out but you decided against it since you were really worn out from university plus your bestfriend slash room mate had a date so she couldn't force you to go out, you simply took it as a chance.
the doorbell rings 45 minutes later, you knew it was him. feeling all giddy and excited since its been 2 weeks you last saw him. you took a deep breath before opening the door.
revealing his sexy form wearing an all black outfit with leather jacket.
I want him sooo bad
this is what is genuinely going through your mind.
"Peach," your nickname, "hey, everything okay?". his tone was worried - you did call him and just say please come to me I need your help.
"Guk," you smile at him, "Don't worry everything's okay, just wanted you to fix something".
he lets out a sigh of relief, "Good God, thought something happened to you".
you giggle at his dramatics, but feel guilty for making him worried you apologise which he tells you not to worry.
closing the door behind him, he comes in, fixes the light in 15 and is about to leave until you offer him something to drink.
"Stay for a drink," you say, "As a thank you since I won't pay you any money".
he hesitates at first, but later on agrees. "Only if you say so, Peach".
"Yay," you exclaim making him chuckle, "we can catch up, it's been a while since I last you".
☆☆☆
its been four weeks since you last saw him, he stayed at your apartment for three hours just catching up until his phone started ringing.
you have him on insta so of course he liked your latest post which were pictures of an aquarium you went to recently with your roommate. you watch his stories and you always like them.
this time you took a small risk, you don't post pictures of yourself, only of others and places. your account is basically pictures of places you went to and pictures of your roommate Yuri.
you added him to your close friends, you posted a picture of yourself, technically it was Yuri who pressed post but we'll just ignore that for now.
3 hours passed, he didn't view your story.
5 hours passed, you cleaned the whole apartment and he still didn't view your story.
8 hours passed, you finished all your assignments due this week and even the others due next week yet he still didn't view your story.
losing hope, you placed your phone on the table and opened a rom-com on your TV to watch while Yuri was put in the balcony talking to her boyfriend on the phone.
halfway through the movie, a notification pings from your phone.
you don't dare to look at your phone screen, "Unni" you call out for Yuri.
no answer, you call out again and yet again no answer. impatient this time you scream her name.
she comes sprinting from the balcony, worried.
"Are you okay?" she asks still holding the phone right next to her ear. "Ari, what's wrong?".
"Can you call your man later or put him on mute for just a few," you made sure to tell her since her boyfriend is friends with Jeongguk and your brother, actually Yuri got to know him through your brother if you think about it, since they're all a part of this huge friendgroup.
"Yoongi, I'll call you in a few okay?," she speaks on the phone, your hear some words from the other line but pay them no attention.
when you're sure she ended the call, you tell her whats making you act like this.
"I think he liked my story".
in a short amount of time you find Yuri next to you on the your shared baby pink sofa. "Are you serious?".
you just nod your head and give her the phone, still refusing to look at it. "Check for me please," you plead. she grins and takes your phone, typing in your password and entering instagram.
your fingers crossed as the seconds of silence feel like years of torture. you hum to Yuri, she looks up from your phone to your eyes.
"So," you wonder, "did he like it?".
one second passed, Yuri nods her head with a huge smile on her face already imagining your reaction.
you gasp as you snatch the phone from her hand making her giggle at your excitement reminding her when she had a crush on her boyfriend.
you look at your screen to see, @/jjeongguk.97 liked your story .
you squeal as you start jumping around the apartment, singing that he liked your story. not noticing Yuri taking a video of you while laughing to herself.
☆☆☆
next time you meet jeongguk was at a get-together at your brother's condo, you guys are rich rich which explains why your brother owns a condo.
even the apartment your share with Yuri is spacious and huge, decorated with luxurious yet classy furniture of high and expensive quality.
however this get-together wasn't just you, jimin and jeongguk. it was their whole crew plus you and Yuri.
"This is your first time seeing him since he liked your story a few days ago right?," asks Yuri while you guys are getting ready at her room.
you hum as you reply, "Yes but I'm trying not to be delusional. I mean it's just a like".
you move on to get dressed after doing your make up. wearing low waisted, dark blue flare jeans that had a cross on the back pockets with black tube t-shirt that showed your cleavage, your belly-piercing and one of your three tattoos, up on your chest, that had Angel written on it.
as for the shoes, you decide to go with your black Dior kitten heels, one of your favourites and comfiest heels.
"Well, even if that like didn't mean anything," Yuri said when she saw your outfit, "in this basic hot ass outfit, he might just shoot his shot".
you only giggle in response as you take the keys of your car and both of you head down.
☆☆☆
arriving at your brother's condo, hi's and hellos were exchanged. Yuri stayed with you for a while but later on disappeared with yoongi doing God knows what.
you conversed with taehyung and hoseok for a while, ate some pizza, drank beer and even catched up with jimin.
yet he still wasn't here.
Yuri, being the bestest friend she is, asked her boyfriend about him as if just being curious why he still hasn't showed up.
yoongi too engrossed in adoring his girlfriend didn't read too much into and answered his girl right away, not noticing how focused you were.
"hes on date with this girl," he response making your stomach drop. "said he'll bring her over in a few actually".
yuri looks over at you as yoongi plays with her hair, "Oh, is this serious?I mean whatevers going on between him and mystery girl".
yoongi only hums, "Yeah, it's their third date this weekend".
yuri clears her throat, getting ready to ask more question for you.
"Oh yeah? do you know her or what she looks like or like, how old she is??", yuri asks her man as she plays with the hair on his nape relaxing him trying to get information out of him.
"yeah, she works with him and I think she's his age actually", he answers leaning into his girlfriend's touch.
"do you have a picture of her?", yoongi only frowns and looks at his girl confused from the many questions. "baby, what's up with these questions, do you like jeongguk or what?".
yuri chuckles nervously and pinches yoongi's cheeks, "Are you jealous baby?you know you're my man, why would I like jeongguk when I have you".
"plus you know how curious I am", yoongi nods after all the most curious person he ever met was definitely yuri and jin comes after her.
they both start flirting, which you tune them out as you think about said man on his date right now. third date this week. with the. same. girl.
☆☆☆
yejin, her name is yejin. looks like his type, model, blondie, tall and is lowkey a bitch. a bad bitch though.
you didn't exactly engage much with her so you can't really judge or anything. you also didn't speak with jeongguk the whole get together. although their were long eye contacts between you and him.
what confused you really was why he replied to your story. you knew he was a fuck boy.
you posted yourself again, this time however in your public story. you didn't really want to but yuri took great pictures of you and forced you to post them.
13 hours later and he replied to your story.
@/jeongguk.97 replied to your story.
you opened the chat as butterflies swarmed in your stomach, nervous and giddy,
jeongguk : you look beautiful Peach
you: thank you gguk
five minutes later your phone pings three times, he sent three messages this time.
and that's how it really started, for three weeks and a half now, you both have been texting forth and back. sometimes he would even call late at night, saying he wants to hear your voice.
you knew this was shitty, he's older than you by 6 years, he's your brother's bestfriend and you're not really sure if he's still on with that yejin girl.
☆☆☆
PART TWO
you really knew it was wrong but you just couldn't resist him.
whilst you were talking to him, or texting for the past few weeks, you found out he's still on with yejin.
yuri told you about it when she went to another hangout you couldn't attend due to having many assignments and stuff. he did text you, asked where you were and if you were okay.
you ignored every message, every call and even when he came over to yoongi's house, you knew he was trying to talk to you however you avoided him because yejin was also there and clinging to him 24/7.
you're now laying in bed - or rotting in bed. watching Netflix while eating the pizza you order. yes tonight, you were lonely. jimin was out, yuri is spending the night with yoongi and your other friends have plans.
so you were really confused when you heard knocks on your door, this late at night.
you look through your peephole, just incase, only to be met with him, standing outside your door while holding a huge bouquet of baby pink flowers. your breath hitched, confused you opened the door slowly.
"jeongguk, what're you doing here this late?", you ask, "and what's up with the bouquet".
he doesn't reply, only looks at you, holding a strong eye contact his eyes not leaving yours. you start to grown nervous underneath his strong gaze, you shift and look down at the floor.
you clear your throat inviting him in, not wanting the old grandma who lives opposite you to gossip about a handsome man standing in front of your apartment.
"these are for you, Peach," he finally talks as you lead him to the living room.
you furrow your eyebrows.
"saw them and I instantly thought of you, baby". the nickname rolls off of his mouth so easily, like it belongs to you, making butterflies swarm in your lower belly.
you thank him shyly as you take the flowers and place them on the table. you ask if he wants anything, he replies water.
you dissappear into the kitchen, holding onto the kitchen island trying to get your thoughts in order. only to realise what you're wearing. a flimsy, golden rose, nightgown that showcases your nipples.
"fuck", you curse quietly.
you know you're taking long, you hear footsteps of his combat black boots hitting the floor. seconds pass and you feel him behind you, his hands slightly sliding onto your waist. his breath touching your neck.
"you've been avoiding me", he whispers into your ears.
you clear your throat as you deny it only for him to reply, "its hurting me baby, can't bare to see you avoiding me this much. you stopped answering my texts, everytime you see me, you suddenly disappear".
he turns you around and continues, "Just like you're doing now, disappearing off to the kitchen".
you try to speak but you fail to as you look up at him through your doe eyes making him quietly whine. his grip on your waist tightening, pulling you into him making you squirm and whimper.
"fuck Ari", he calls out your name making you grow weak in the knees. "you're killing me baby".
you know this is sooo wrong but this feeling doesn't stop you from standing on your tippy toes to lick his lip piercing. you're sure it surprised him.
not even a second passes and he crashes his lips onto yours, earning himself a muffled moan from you.
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my man my man my mannnn😍

officially beekeeping age 🐝
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quit brainrot. unfollow trolls. read essays. go down rabbit holes. have a calendar. maintain a todo list. read old books. watch old movies. turn on dnd. walk with intent. eat without youtube. chew more. train without music. plan for 15 mins. execute. organise your desk. take something seriously. read ancient scripts. act fast. find bread. eat clean. journal. save a life. learn to code. read poetry. create art. stay composed. refine your speech. optimise for efficiency. act sincere. help people. be kind. stop doing things that waste your time. follow your intuition. craft reputation. learn persuasion. systemise your day (or don't). write. write. write. write more. iterate violently. leave your phone at home. walk to the grocery store. talk to strangers. feed the dogs. visit bookstores. look for 1800s novels. experience art. then love. sit with a monk and offer them lunch. don't talk shit about people. embody virtue. sit alone. do something with your life. what do you want to create? turn off your mind. play. play a sport. combat sports. notice fonts in trees. fall in love. notice patterns on a table. visualise it. talk to people with respect. don't hate. be loving. be real. become yourself. cherrypick your qualities. discard the useless. rejections aren't permanent. invite what aligns. accept what does not. read great people. be different. choose different. do great work. let it consume you. lose your mind. value your time. experience life.
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