beennieboy

[beennieboy]

dawg this shit is fuckin dumb

[beennieboy]

literally so FUCKING fine but why are you BARELY TOO YOUNGGGG

[beennieboy]

kinda fine as fuckkkkkk man ima have to flirt a lilll. fym u want me to help u learn how to roll? nah i picked u up u was flirting man

[beennieboy]

it feels over but i don’t want it to be :/ i just feel like it’s maybe time and we’re just different people now but i can’t stand not being with you. i hate this.

[beennieboy]

why don’t i just curl up into a ball and fucking rot. i can’t stand this i’m going fucking insane a bullet would be nicer. i just hate everything that’s going on right now. i wish you cared more. you don’t seem to be too bothered by the fact that we’re not together anymore and our relationship is probably ending forever.

[beennieboy]

i think i’d rather die then keep being like this

[beennieboy]

od and fucking die

[beennieboy]

this whole thing is a fucking joke. i can’t see this ending any other way than us breaking up.

[beennieboy]

you just don’t care the same anymore

[beennieboy]

i feel like i can see so clearly how you’re getting tired of me. you dont kiss me nearly as often as you used to, and it’s not the same, most of the time i feel like you’re doing it just to get it over with. you don’t try to engage in conversation as often. you don’t give me physical affection basically at all anymore, and you crave it less than before. you say you love me but i don’t really feel it. i guess maybe you’re not getting tired of me but you don’t love me same. it hurts and i don’t like it but i keep hoping maybe it’ll change. this is stupid. i don’t know how i’m supposed to change to make you happier. you don’t seem to care anymore. you don’t care to carry on a conversation. you just don’t think about kissing me ? somehow ? there’s no way i could go a whole day without thinking about kissing you. and i’ve already brought it up to you before and it couldn’t stick in your head. and since i’ve been so insecure in our relationship recently i feel like you might try to put in a little more effort to make me feel loved and wanted other just saying “i do love you” “i don’t want to breakup” i want you to show me. i want to feel it. and yea i do feel a little more insecure than i do most of the time abiut your new friend jordan. i don’t think you’ll leave me for him or anything but right now i feel like y’all have a better relationship than we do. and it sucks kinda really bad that u don’t really like to play games with me anymore. at least the games u want to play. and after not seeing eachother all day i come over with food and we eat and i ask you what you want to do and you say you’ve just been wanting to play with jordan all day ??? that’s a little upsetting. i just want you to WANT me. i’m jealous of the time you spend with him bc you don’t want to spend it with me anymore. i understand you want us to be our own people but it doesn’t feel like it’s doing anything when you just sit and home and play with jordan all the fuckin time. that’s exactly what you did before i left. i guess you just wanted to do it in peace. i feel like i’ve tried expressing to you many times that i don’t feel very wanted right now and insecure and it kinda seems like you’ve done nothing to try to help me feel any better about it. i would want to make sure you feel wanted in the relationship that we have. i don’t know why i can’t get over you being friends with him. sometimes it’s fine and other times it enrages me more than anything else and i hate it. i hate everything that’s going on right now. i don’t want space between us right now bc i feel like that’s the worst possible thing. i’m just so tired, of everything and of myself. im so sick of being stuck in a constant argument with myself over everything. i just feel like it’s ending and you haven’t let yourself realize it. i feel like you’re falling out of love with me, if you haven’t already. you can’t tell, but i can tell that something is different with you and it’s not just wanting space to be our own people. i just hate everything about this right now. i hate how i feel about you being friends with jordan and i hate how it’s been between us lately and i hate being at my house all the time i hate it. i feel like me being over here all the time isn’t going to help anything. at all. and i have to resort to fucking tumblr to vent bc i don’t have any real fucking friends. or anyone to talk to who isn’t you or our mutual friends. i dont feel like me leaving to stay at my house bc your version of “being your own person” is sitting at home doing the exact same thing we always do but instead of with me and our friends, it’s with jordan, is going to fix anything. kind of feels like i’m over here so you can just do what u always do but in peace. you say you’re trying to look for jobs but you won’t be able to work an in person job for a while and the work from places barely hire anyone so that’s gone. so all that’s left is to try to make your own friends but all you do is play with jordan and in private chat so you can’t even talk to other people. how can you make other friends like that. kms

[beennieboy]

i’m so unhappy. everything is wrong and i hate everything about myself more than ever.