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𓍼24H𓍯

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The risks I took were calculated, but man am I bad at math.

Clary Fairchild, an autobiography

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Alec: You're shirtless?

Jace: *nods*

Alec: And covered in...oil?

Jace: Well, you know how you always say I never glisten?

Alec: LISTEN! You never listen!

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Clary: *on the phone* Can I talk to Simon?

Jace: The old Simon can't come to the phone right now.

Jace: Why?

Jace: Oh, coz he's dead.

Alec: quite literally.

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Alec: To family!

Izzy: To family!

Clary: As long as it's not mine!

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*doctor prepping needle*

Doctor: You won't feel a thing.

Jace: Don't worry, I never do.

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random shadowhunter swabbing to get Simon's DNA: Open up, please.

Simon: sometimes I get sad...

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Simon: What was it like being head of the Institute for a day?

Jace: You know that feeling you get when you unwrap a present and it's not what you wanted?

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Simon: *does something stupid* I hope no one saw me do that

Also Simon: *texting everyone he knows and updating his status* Listen to what I just did!

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If I sit next to you for too long, am I going to die of smartass poisoning?

Simon to Alec or Jace, at some point.

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Jace: Simon, if you don't stop I swear I'm going to stab you.

Simon: Thank god I've got the mark of Cain to protect me.

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Sebastian: Would you slap your parabatai in the face for two million dollars?

Jace: *looks at Alec* Yes and I'd give him half.

Also Jace: I'd roundhouse kick Simon in the face on a dare.

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Simon: Am I adopted?

Raphael: No, we haven't found anyone who wants you yet.

Jace: *hits him upside the head*

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Raphael: I've got a five-year plan.

Simon: Five years? Cool. I've got the next about two and a half hours planned, and then there's just darkness and possibly some dragons.

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*Izzy prepares dinner for everyone*

Clary: Izzy, this steak is hard.

Izzy: so is life. Then you die.

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Alec: Jace, get that hideous thing out of the institute!

Jace: Simon, Alec wants you out of here!

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Raphael: Where’re you going?

Magnus: To either get a drink or commit a crime.

Raphael:

Magnus: I’ll decide on the way.