beingdreeyore

[beingdreeyore]

It’s done! Pretty proud of this one. Spent my weekend with post-night shift insomnia so passed the long hours knitting this one up.

[beingdreeyore]

[beingdreeyore]

[beingdreeyore]

Yeah nah night shift is going great.

Got yelled at by a dysregulated ED boss on my way out this morning because I didn’t see a patient who hadn’t been referred to me. That was fun.

And this evening while replaying the whole thing in my head I made such spectacular errors with my latest knitting project that I had to unravel an entire sleeve. Don’t seethe and knit, I guess.

But I did drag myself to the gym for weights and cardio which is an absolute rarity on night shift. Happy and proud of myself for that at least.

Night shifting night shifting in that way that only night shift can.

[beingdreeyore]

Hello doc, what do you do when you feel you’re becoming depressed?? What’s your advice?

Honestly. When the realisation first hits me, I kinda dive into it and do everything you shouldn’t for the first day or two.

But then I snap into action.

For me, it’s a balance of action and rest. I get super serious about four hard gym sessions/week. But then I let myself do nothing on the couch for a few hours if I need to. I try and knit though, because at least then I feel productive when I’m sitting there doing nothing else. Plus I get to feel like I’ve accomplished something when it’s done.

I force myself to see friends at least every few weeks. And I try to really linger in sweet moments that happen. A sunset. A laugh. A delicious bite of food. Any little moment like that.

I don’t have any magic solutions. For me it’s always been a bit of gritting teeth and just knowing the only way out is through. Tough love balanced with kindness.

Oh. And I’d recommend avoiding night shift. Night shift always sends me ten steps backwards. Sigh.

[beingdreeyore]

THE X-FILES 3.05 'The List'

[beingdreeyore]

[beingdreeyore]

If I hadn’t failed the first essay, I’d be starting my last week ever of nights tonight.

But instead I’m starting it with no idea how many more there are left.

Night Shift, you kill me every time.

[beingdreeyore]

Finally put this one together. I finished all the pieces last year, but there were about 300 ends to weave in. It’s been living in a box in pieces for a year.

I am still so so very bad at this. None of these could be worn outside the house, but I love the calm and sense of accomplishment I get from it.

[beingdreeyore]

Me: I’ve made peace with the crush not going anywhere

My dreams: the hell you have

[beingdreeyore]

It’s five degrees this morning. This is my kind of weather.

We only get about two or three mornings this cool every few year, so I am definitely trying to enjoy every second.

[beingdreeyore]

Finally realising and accepting that I’ve got a little dose of depression happening here…

Sigh.

Back here again.

[beingdreeyore]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[beingdreeyore]

[beingdreeyore]

Finally got to talk to my dad 💙

[beingdreeyore]

[beingdreeyore]

Anne Sexton, from “The Truth The Dead Know” in The Complete Poems of Anne Sexton