belljarbabe

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Delusional girl summer

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i collect them! i like to think there are souls in them that led me to them.

mentally I’m in the porcelain angel section of a thrift store

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The Bell Jar

I recently finished reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. It is a beautiful thing to enter another woman's world. I'd like to think I just entered Sylvia's. Esther was an amazing character. As someone who has been to a psych ward I understood her. Her fear when entering the doctors office, her shock and confusion when another patient showed her their scars, the lonely nights, etc. It was all so vivid. Her break down almost seemed justified, as it was much like my own. Please read it if you ever get the chance. It was a privilege to read this masterpiece.

Buying more editions of the book now; I hope to start a collection.

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she gets it.

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it’s always “i love you.” and never “no one in the world could possibly understand. this emotion is mine and mine alone… and i’ve been saving it for her. it is the pinnacle of all human emotion. more passionate than hope, much deeper than despair. love.”

or “i’m sorry. i’m so weak. i just wanted you back with me. i didn't care what i had to do... i’d commit the worst sins for one more chance. even if it turned me into a monster, it wouldn't matter. as long as i could have you back.”

or “no matter how many times it takes, i’ll relive it over and over again. i’ll find the way out. the one path that'll save you from this destiny of despair. madoka, my one and only friend. i don't care… because if it's for you, i’ll stay trapped in this endless maze forever.”

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homura did nothing wrong tbh

madoka magica is sooo crazy imagine being in middle school and your crush dies and you’re so upset that you kickstart a time loop and repeat the same month 100 times over trying to stop her from dying but unwittingly you make her more and more important to the universe’s continuation (because you have effectively created 100 timelines that are dependent only on the survival of your crush) and therefore her death becomes more and more devastating to the world as a whole in every new timeline and finally your crush sacrifices her life willingly to become a god and you’re the only one who remembers her and this depresses you so much that you construct a whole imaginary universe where your crush is alive and you trap yourself and the souls of your friends inside it and then when you realize it’s Not Real, Actually, you pull your crush (who, again, is now god) down from heaven and become the literal actual devil

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Me, still insane: I used to be sooo crazy

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I wanna kill you, if you don't beat me to it.

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Idc if people are mean to men.... women can't say no to random dudes on the street lest he decides to kill her like.

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feeling silly (suicidal) (again)

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me with get free and paris, texas </3

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“I can’t abandon the person I used to be so I carry her.”

— 365 Days of Haiku, Day #123 (via soulsscrawl)

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