belren-blog

[belren-blog]

Belren.

Btw she is not missing a beard, I'm just not good at photoshopping facial hair. She has a beard in writing, of course. There we have her though.

[belren-blog]

She had dozed a litttle when Fili returned. He cam back with a smile on his face and flowers in his hand. For her. This was new but now unwelcome. Quite on the contraty. He had thought of her and she just had to smile, because it was such a sweet gesture, such a sweet thing for him to do.

"They're beautiful Fili. Thank you" She took them and placed her on her lap, to lean forward and kiss his cheek, just before he kissed her hands. It was still very innocent between them and she wanted to keep it that way for a while still. After all they were young.

"I'd like to stay up here. I'd be a bother to your family and I don't want to be, I'm a guest after all. So if it's no bother to you... I think it would be nice to share a tea, Fili." Nice... or meaningful.

Far away from home

Fili spent the day thinking about Belren, making sure that he was quick enough. He didn’t want her to stay alone too long. After a while, he walked back to his house but stopped before it, finding a nice bouquet of flowers. The dwarf smiled and bought it before walking back inside of the house. ” Belren ! I’m back ! ” The prince smiled, walking around, trying to find her. He then walked upstairs and opened the door of his room, finding her sitting on a chair and staring at the lake. He knew that she had cried, he could see it on her face. But he felt like he shouldn’t be so indiscreet and direct. Instead, he smiled at her and walked closer, kneeling before her to offer her the flowers. ” Found these.. Thought you’d appreciate them. ” He then kissed her hands and caressed them tenderly, looking at her in the eyes. His right hand went up to caress her cheek very tenderly. ” I’m stayin’ with ya. Won’t go out again for the day. ” He then stood up and kissed her forehead. ” D’you want a tea ? D’you want to come downstairs with me ? “

[belren-blog]

"I will rest." Or she would try. She did not want to be parted from him. Not even for a short time. She was scared. And Kili... well Kili was not his older brother, was he? Belren pulled the blanket higher as if to hide underneath it. Actually she wanted to hide underneath them, for good. Once Fili was gone, Kili left as well. She took a blanket to a chair and sat down to look outside,  towards the lake. It was a beautiful view, maybe the only thing not wanting to crawl up the walls. But she still cried. She cried for a whilee because of what happened. She was in pain, she was scared and her house was in ruins. She had to work. There were babies that needed tending to and she could not go because her legs did not carry her far. And those wounds. She felt helpless again and she hated feeling helpless, so much.

Far away from home

Fili had his face nuzzled in Belren’s neck. He groaned when he heard his brother’s voice in the room. There, he opened his eyes and looked at Kili before pouting. ” Can’t I have da day off ? ” He pouted. The younger brother shook his head. ” Neh, uncle needs ya. I’ll keep an eye on Belren if ya want. ” The blonde dwarf rolled his eyes before looking at Belren. He kissed her forehead tender before whispering a few words.  " I’ll be back as soon as I can, Bel.. " He caressed her hair before adding. " Please rest, y’are not alone, I promise. I’ll come as often as I can to check on ya before coming definitely back tonight. "  He kissed her cheek tenderly before moving from the bed, stretching his body. He was all good under the covers, warmed with her. He still missed hours of sleep. He shook his head and sighed.

[belren-blog]

It took her a while, but the closeness, the reassurence, the lullaby helped her calm down. It helped her to bring her breath and heartbeat down and close her eyes. She snuggled against the  stronger, taller dwarf and closed her eyes slowly. Slowly she fell asleep, safe in his arms. This time she felt safe throughout the entire night.

There was a knock on the door in the monring, Kili entered with a servant and a broad grin.

"Good morning, sleepy heads. Sorry Belren, I have to abduct Fili for a bit. Brother, duty calls, my prince."

Far away from home

Fili sighed and caressed her face before kissing her forehead. ” I am here. I am alive and I won’t let anyone kill me. There’s so much for me to do with ya… ” He smiled at her, trying to reassured her with his words. ” I will protect ya with my life if I have to, but I’d better want us both to be safe. ” He grinned and kissed her neck before intertwining his fingers with hers. He decided to slowly sing a song for her, with his soft tone, to calm her down and help her fall back asleep.  He closed his eyes, keeping singing that lullaby he had been raised with. He kissed her neck sometime while humming. 

[belren-blog]

It was so hard to calm down, despite his soft kisses, despite him holding her, she simply couldn't. He was dead, before her, such a vivid image. He was dead. He lay dead before her. That was not... not something she liked to see, but had been so close. She knew he had barely escaped death after the battle of the five armies. He was mortal. And she... she lay there and cried.

"You were dead... it was the same... man but you were dead, he killed you... you.... " Her voice broke. She hated it.

Far away from home

Fili was sleeping like a dwarfling. He had his arms wrapped around Belren’s body, his face nuzzled in her neck. He heard her whimpering a first time so he naturally tightened his arms around her body. Soon, he fell back into a deep sleep. But he opened his eyes when he heard her screaming and crying. ” Hey… Hey hey hey… ” He was all sleepy but managed to try to reassure her. He caressed her face and tried to calm her down. " It’s alright… Ya had a nightmare.. " He sighed and nuzzled his face in his neck, intertwining his fingers into hers. He kissed her neck and whispered her tender words. " Belren, breathe.. In and out… I’m here.. Ya had a bad dream, yer safe… " He smiled, kissing her cheek sweetly. He took a deep breathe and just closed his eyes, hoping that she would relax with him.  It was so early, still dark outside. The house was sleepy, he could hear his brother snoring in his room, close to his.

[belren-blog]

Bellren managed to close her eyes then. Cuddled against him she found a bit of peace, despite the pain that she felt still. But this would go on for a few days. It was only natural. The superficial wounds would heal in no time. But she was worried about the hidden ones. She was worried about the mental ones and she was right to.

While she slept, her mind replayed it, twice. First how it happened. She moaned and whimpered, but in the end it was okay. The second one was scary. Because this time Fili was there to protect her, but he failed, misserably. There he was, lying broken, dead before her.

Belren woke with a scream, which quickly turned into crying.

Far away from home

Fili blushed a little before nodding. ” Alright, I’ll be here Belren… Relax.. ” He smiled and caressed her face. He slowly slid under the covers as well and shyly wrapped his arms around her, making sure that she would finally feel peaceful enough to sleep. He was worried and he sincerely hoped that she would heal soon. He shyly dropped a kiss on her forehead before closing his eyes and relaxing as well, still being attentive on her breathing.  When he opened his eyes, the first thing he did was to check on her. He caressed her hair and nuzzled his face in her neck, feeling good with her by his side. He lightly kissed her skin, still holding her.

[belren-blog]

Belrren was a bit confused at everything, but it had to be the head injury too. Of course she could not focus properly. All she knew was, that Fili should not leave... "No. Stay here. The bed is easily big enough... watch over me." She had to ask him that, not only because she was still very scared abotu what happened, but also because she knew, that a head injury was nothing to joke about. She could easily die in her sleep and with him downstairs and her alone here... no one would even notice. "Please, stay here. Please, Fili."

Far away from home

The dwarf wrapped his arms around her and lifted her before walking to his own room. He would let her sleep in his bed and he’d take the couch. He made sure that she was set in a comfortable way before tucking her in and setting the pillows for her. He sat and caressed her face very tenderly when she started telling him that she was scared. ” He won’t harm ya anymore, Belren. I promise. Yer here, I won’t move. I won’t leave you alone again. ” He smiled and just stayed by her side, making sure that she was warmed and that she wasn’t in pain at all.  After a moment, he heard his brother and his mother coming upstairs. Both stopped, surprised to see Belren in Fili’s bed. The prince stood up and started explaining the situation. Kili then left almost running to go find Thorin and tell him about what just happened. Dis smiled at her son, feeling proud of his behavior. She decided to give them a moment before heading downstairs. Fili looked back at Belren and kissed her forehead very tenderly. ” Ya should rest.. I’ll be there, until ya fall asleep. Then, I’ll take the couch downstairs. ” He smiled at her. ” My bed is great, ya’ll see. I sleep perfectly. ” He laughed, trying to make her smile.

[belren-blog]

She heard him speak to her father, reassuring him, but she thought she missheard him. She must have been halucinating already, after all she had lost a lot of blood. While Fili and her father talked, Oin pulled out a blanket and a pillow and covered her and propped her head up to make her more comfortable. She could almost relax a little now. Almost, because... as they talked her mind drifted back to what happened... at least until Fili came back to her and spoke to her. So she had not missunderstood at all. She squeezed his hand.

"Oin, will you let Papa stay with you?" The old dwarf nodded. He clapped Fili on the bed. "Get her to a proper bed and rest. And tell your brother and mother and your uncle about what happened." Brim and Oin left, together, leaving the younger ones behind. She sighed, still wrapped into his coat. She loved to be surrounded by his smell now, it was comforting. "I  am scared... but not of you, of us, but... of that dwarf... whoever he was.... I am scared."

Far away from home

Fili looked at Belren’s father. He could understand the fact that he was worried about his daughter, but sadly, the dwarf prince felt powerless. He just looked at Brim and sighed. ” I swear I.. I was just changin’ myself. I arrived it was too late. She was there, lying on the floor. ” He gulped. ” I… I’m sorry, Brim I didn’t want her to be hurt.. I feel so powerless and the only thing I can do now is to be there by her side.. ” he gulped and looked at Oin, almost asking for help. After all he just wanted to prove that he was willing to be with Belren for the better and the worse.  The prince looked at Belren with worried eyes. He immediately walked back to her and started saying in a determined tone. ” Brim. I know that you’re scared for your daughter. And I know that you’re worried because I’m a prince and you don’t want your daughter to end hurt because of me. But… ” He looked at Belren and gulped. After all, it was time for him to assume his feelings and his real intentions towards her. He took a deep breathe before whispering.  " I really like your daughter. And I am willing to protect her.. Even though you might think that I’m not good at this right now. I am willing to make sure that no one would ever touch her ever again. And I am willing to prove it to you. " He said all determined.  The dwarf looked back at Belren and whispered. ” I am not scared anymore. I want to show you that you’re more than my friend. ” He grabbed her hand and kissed it very tenderly. 

[belren-blog]

Being alone was suddenly very frightening. She weakly pulled the coat tighter around he as if trying to dissappear in it. In a way she did. She had not expected this dwarf to break into the clinic and especially not to be attacked by him and wounded like this.

It seemed to take Fili forever to return, but he had alcohol and he told him her father and Oin would come. That was good news. He was no healer and despite his efforts, they should still take a look at her. Cleaning the wounds was priority however. She gripped onto the material of his coat tightly in order to do something to distract herself from the burning pain, though his caresses helped a lot more. She closed her eyes, but still the tears fell, she could not stop them.

"Fili... what about my father?", she asked him weakly. He lived there too after all. "He can't stay there either." She knew she hadn't said no. And she didn't want to. She would not say no, simply because she didn't want to go back now, she was scared this maniac would return....

"Fili...I'm not good with men either.... We'll learn together." She tried to turn a little, so she could look at him better. Suddenly thee was commotion outside: She flinched but it was only her father and Oin. Brim was seething in anger. He and Oin pushed Fili aside to look at her, to treat her wounds and make sure she would be resting. Only when she was calm and taken care off, did they step away. Brim, however lounged for Fili, knowing he was supposed to be with Belren.

"What happened to her? You tell me right now!!" For an old man, he was still surprisingly fast and agile. Oin tried to pull him away.

Far away from home

belren:

Fili looked at her in the eyes and nodded at Belren when she told him to find alcohol. ” I’ll be back. ” He soon left the house after making sure that she would be fine. There, he started running as fast as he could to Oin’s house. He soon entered, surprising the other dwarf because of his freaked out face. He explained briefly the situation before asking him alcohol. Oin gave him the bottle and then went straight to find Belren’s father while Fili ran back to his place, not willing to actually leave her too long alone. When he arrived, he walked close to her and caressed her face. ” Oin and yer father are coming… ” He smiled at her and opened the bottle of alcohol. There, he stood up and walked to go grab a clean tissue.  He came back and poured the alcohol on it and slowly took the covers off to clean her wounds. ” I’m sorry if it hurts… Tryin’ my best to be gentle. ” He smiled at her and caressed her face while he looked back at what he was doing. First, he would make sure that she’d be fine before then asking her what had really happened.  " Ya know… " He started, hesitating at first. He didn’t want her to be alone in her house, it was apparently too dangerous. He sighed and whispered. " I’d be more reassured if I saw ya staying here.. At least I���d be there to defend ya if someone came back inside.. " He caressed her face.  "I don’t want ya to be in danger. I wouldn’t forgive myself. " He said sincerely. The prince wanted her to know that he cared about her more than the other women around. He sighed and kept caressing her face. " I am not good with women, Belren. I don’t know how to do to make ya happy. But I’m willing to learn.. " He looked at her in the eyes, his clear blue ones all shinny. 

[belren-blog]

She was way to disoriented to notice where he was carrying her or what he asked her. All she noticed was this familiar scent of leather, of work, steel and this familiar odor that was just him, just Fili, who caressed her face and... pulled out the shards of glass. She whimpered pathetically, voicing the pain. Faintly she noted the lack of binding, as red liquid slowly ttrickled out of the new wounds, but Belren remained silent for now, as he lifted her up. She gritted her teeth. He tried to help, the pain was not his fault, but it was there, so the dark haired young woman leaned her head against his shoulder and let the tears fall.

She noticeed the rooms when he entered them. The royal quarters. This must be his rooms in the mountain, the rooms of the crownprince. How could she have thought he might like her? But then again... he was so gentle when he placed her on the sofa and wrapped her up in his coat. It smelled nicely like him. Belren smiled up at him weakly.

"Pitty for the food I made. I cooked for us.", she whispered, knowing the bloodloss was beginning to affect her mind slowly. She had heard his question, but her mind couldn't process what needed to be done while she was still bleeding like that and with the burning pain in her legs and hip.

"Oin or... my father, Fili." They could take care of it. They were healers, well Oin was technically an apothecary, but he could heal as well, stop infection from taking root. Then she remembered. "Alcohol... clean them with it and wrap them up. Stop the blood."

Far away from home

Fili found Belren lying on the floor. ” BELREN ! ” He gasped and ran to her. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, in a protective way before looking around himself. ” It’s okay… I… I’m here. ” He had to get her out of this place. At least to bring her to a safer place. ” Hold on.. ” He sighed and slowly carried her out of the house. He looked around himself, caressing her forehead. He soon reached his house where he immediately set her on a couch. He looked at her ripped dress, noticing the shards of glass on her skin. He gulped and looked at her in the eyes before gently taking them off, caressing her face.  " What should I do ? I do not wish to see your wounds infected.. Is there something I can do without having to leave you alone around ? " He sighed.  The prince was extremely worried about her. He made sure that she didn’t have any other sharp shards of glass on her body. He then pulled his coat all warm around her body before standing up. He walked to the kitchen where he started boiling some water. He would try to help her as much as he could. 

[belren-blog]

She was still trying to tie the dress, when she heard the knock and then the front door open. Her heart sped up... this had to be Fili. Belren walked to the front, while still tied the laces. But she stopped as she heard crashes. What was that? this couldn't be Fili, could it? The young dwarf lady soon got her answer in form of a dwarf. He was not Fili. He looked crazed, searching frantically for something... until he heard her. He lounged for her, despite her attempt to get away. She felt sharp pain and then everything went black.

When she woke she heard the door open again. She half expected that man to return, but then the wounded girl heard the prince call out for her.

"F... Fili.", she croaked, trying to call out for him. It came out as a whisper only. While she waited she looked down. Her dress was ripped. She was sure she had at least one head wound. Her back throbbed, there were several bruises, maybe a broken rib, everything from her hips downwards hurt and her left shoulder was marked with scratches. The entire room seemed to be destroyed around her, too. As soon as she moved, she felt sharp shards of glass digging into exposed skin or the remaining parts of her dress.

Far away from home

Fili was feeling like it was finally time for him to show Belren that he was good. He wouldn’t want her to cry again because of him. He tears were way too important for her to waste them for someone like him. As he thought about her, the prince went to change himself and put some decent clothes, making him look more elegant. Though he still had a warrior look, the dwarf knew that he was better than with the previous clothes.  He was ready to go see her and have a wonderful time with Belren. After all, she was the only one he really wanted by his side. And he was willing to prove it to her.  Slowly, Fili walked down the way to her house, where he stood and knocked softly. He then pushed the door and smiled. ” Belren ? Are ya here ? “

[belren-blog]

Belren blushed when he kissed her cheek. She waved after him and spun on the spot... before basically running through the house to start preparations. they needed ale. She needed to get some and so she went to do this first and then... she cooked. Meat with a sweat and sour sauce and a few vegetables and garlic bread. And she made little cakes as desert. At least she hoped he would like it. She kept it close to the fire to keep it war enough. And finally she used her knowledge about spices and herbs. She poured some of the ale into a seperate mug to sweeten and spice it in a certain way.

Finally she changed into a simple, but clean brown dress.

Far away from home

The blonde dwarf blushed slightly and nodded at her proposition. ” Alright, we can do this. ” He smiled and just helped her with the last pieces  on the floor. There, he stood up and looked at her in the eyes. ” I’ll be back then. Later. ” He bowed at her before then just whispering. ” I’m sorry I disappointed ya. Just know that I don’t want ya as my friend, simply. I want to take time with ya.. ” He smiled sweetly at her and just hesitated before just leaning over her and kissing her cheek very tenderly. ” I’ll see ya later, Belren. ” He stood up and walked out of the house. He had to go get prepared and probably find flowers to bring to her. After all, he wanted to make things right this time. 

[belren-blog]

"I like you too." She looked at the floor. This was the reason why she had been so foolish. "I'm sorry, Fili... that... I wanted it to be this way... and I was disappointed it sounded like you didn't want it and... I didn't want to waste my time on something that wasn't going to happen. But if it jsut might, then I will go out with you... tonight?" Belren finally looked up at him. "But maybe you come here. Tonight my father is spending the evening with Oin, so we would have the house to ourselves, no prying eyes."

Far away from home

The young prince gulped and looked at her in the eyes, all shy. ” Aye… ” How could he tell her that he liked her more than a simple friend but without making him a fool of himself ? He gulped and just looked at her in the eyes before whispering.  ”I just… Wanna know ya better… I mean… Yeah I know ya since I’m a dwarfling… But… ” He cleared his throat, feeling all embarrassed.  " But I like ya. " He admitted shamefully, looking at her in the eyes. " And I don’t know how to act with ya, how to make ya happy… Look at me. I made ya cry. " He frowned, hitting himself internally. The dwarf prince looked down and shrugged. " I wanted to have a moment alone with ya. " He whispered. 

[belren-blog]

"It's alright. I was foolish." She answered, trying to wipe away the tears, but they would still fall. He had hurt her by, well, treating her so out of line over something like that. It was so insignificant in the end, a missunderstanding, but she... she had gotten her hopes up, irrationally so.

"Yes... yes we can..." But she couldn't allow herself to hope against hope anymore... or could she? "Fili... why are you asking me to go for a drink with you exactly? What do you want from me?"

Far away from home

The prince walked closer and sighed when he saw the mess and how hurt she was. His heart got swollen and he gulped nervously before kneeling on the floor and taking the pieces of the bottle carefully. He helped her quietly, sometimes looking at her. He didn’t know what to say nor how to act. He was just nervous. ” Listen… I.. I didn’t want to make ya cry… I am not Kili… I do not know how it works with ladies… I’m an idiot.. ” he admitted, looking at her in the eyes. ” I am just.. Discovering.. And I didn’t know that I’d hurt you so much… “  He shyly approached his hand close to her face, wiping a tear with his thumb. ” Please.. Don’t cry. I do not deserve yer tears. ” He gave her a sympathetic look. ” Can ya forgive me ? Can we start over and go just the two of us out for a drink ? ” He asked, trying to make her understand that there wouldn’t be any other person than just the two of them. 

[belren-blog]

Belren sat on a chair and cleaned out the flasks, crying into the water. Luckily it didn't matter. The bit of salt didn't hurt with the heat in it. It was still over the fire, but it was necessary for the bottles to be as clean as possible, no matter how hard it was on her hands. She had been a fool. She had hoped for something, that was entirely foolish.

Suddenly she heard him... in the clinic. She shot up and dropped the bottle, which shattered. "It... it's alright... I'm sorry too..."

Far away from home

Fili looked at her as she walked away, feeling some tears feeling his clear blue eyes. He was such a mess with ladies and he couldn’t understand anymore. The golden prince started walking down the balcony, reaching his younger brother who seemed upset. ” Fee ! What the hell ! ” The prince frowned. ” What ? ” The younger brother hit the back of his head. ” I saw Belren crying, and I’m sure yer not for nothing there ! “  The dwarf sighed and exploded. ” Can ya please leave me alone ? All of ya ? I do not know how to be good enough for lasses, uncle is pressuring me and I want to do this myself. “  Kili snapped at his brother. ” At least go apologize. You made her cry. ” Fili ignored his brother and walked in a determined way to Belren’s house. He knocked on the door softly before allowing himself to enter. He cleared his throat and asked all shyly. ” Belren ? Are ya here ? ” He bit his lower lip and sighed, looking around. He felt stupid, felt like he was a jerk, being too much like his own uncle. ” I… I’m sorry… If I made ya cry… Or hurt… I didn’t mean to… “

[belren-blog]

The girl stood there, shocked at how he talked to her. This was ... unbelievable. She could not grasp what happened to him there, but she didn't like it one bit. Apparently he thought himself the only one hurt and while she was acknowledging his hurt - how could she not see it - she had been hurt too.

"How was I supposed to know that? You made it sound like that's all  you wanted. I can not read you mind Fili. You have to say what you mean, or I can't ... act on it." But wasn't it all said and done, now? She was hurt and she felt tears sting in her eyes, so she turned and left. She had to get home before the tears overwhelmed her, but she wasn't strong enough. While she ran, she cried and she passed Kili shortly, but ignored him in order to get home.

Far away from home

Now the prince was even more mad. He looked at her. ” What the hell ?! I just said this because I thought ya’d want to be there, it wasn’t supposed to be that same invitation ! I’m not that lame, Belren ! I know how to behave ! ” He then shook his head and looked back at her. ” I do not know how to act with a woman, and it was a simple invitation so I’d just introduce ya to my friends but then go somewhere more private ! I thought that the other plan was for another evening, not the same day ! “ He then looked at her in the eyes, his clear blue eyes all hurt. ” Ya think so low about me ?! Ya think I’m that lame ?! ” He sighed and shook his head. ” I’m sorry. ” He gulped and then looked away before turning his back on her. He didn’t want her to see him all vulnerable. He hated feeling humiliated and stupid like this. 

[belren-blog]

What on earth was happening? First he said nothing was wrong and then... then he said she denied him? This was some kind of joke, right? It had to be. He couldn't think she had, when he invited him to be... well this. He clearly denied her. She had expected too much from him.

"Denied you? You denied me! You said I should come to the tavern because you'd be there, and clearly all your friends too. What business do I have there, Fili? I thought, when you asked me, that we'd have something more private... well no, I was hoping for it, but you're clearly not interested, so why are you so upset about me not joining you and your warrior friends?"

Far away from home

Fili wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to her or not. The fact that she came here to ask him what was wrong, when she clearly knew what was happening, made him boil inside. But instead, the golden dwarf, as stubborn as he was, decided to stay proud and deny his feelings. ” Nothing. ” He then looked back at her and shrugged. ” Just stupid things. Anyway. ” He then looked down, sighing before whispering. ” I hope that ya had a nice night… “  He slowly stood up, looked at his friend and shrugged before adding. ” Was hoping to see ya… Sorry if I did something that could’ve made ya want to deny me. ” He then slid his hands in his pockets and sighed before whispering. ” Won’t happen again, I promise… ” He was all sad and hurt.