belvederewrites

[belvederewrites]

sunshine at your doorstep.

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scared of the dark

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I don't think humans gave themselves the ability to be alone.

For as long as time had started to age us, we were made not in solitude, but in love of not just a single heart.

So it's only fitting that everyone else expects we can all find someone to be melded with for our mortal eternities.

But is loneliness supposed to just be a concept to sympathize on?

Is being alone worth less than experiencing life with someone else, even if you enjoyed the solitude?

I ask myself these questions as I ponder the urges of receding back into myself and forgetting others who intend to love me until it hurts.

- Belvedere

[belvederewrites]

hello there ,i love your blog it brings me great comfort , if it's not too much trouble could you make a compilation about unrequited love, my situation is the i'm in love with someone that just wants to take from me and give nothing back, i will break up with him today but i'm feelling very sad about this , i hope you are doing well and have good things in life bye bye and sorry to bother you

i’m so sorry for what you’re going through but so proud of you for walking away. you can check out this compilation that i made; here are a few more:

“My heart is full not of guilt, or shame, or remorse, but of grief… Everything has become too terribly mixed up.”

Boris Pasternak, from Letters Summer 1926: Pasternak, Tsvetaeva, Rilke

“But if it’s love, by God, what is this thing? If good, why then the bitter mortal sting?”

Petrarch, from the ‘Canzoniere’ (tr. Mark Musa)

“He filled her up, her whole world, a moon obliterating the light of any other star.”

Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless

Anne Carson, from Plainwater: Essays and Poetry

“If I let him do this to me, what else will I allow? Anything, anything, anything.”

Catherynne M. Valente, from Deathless

“God, what are you doing to me? / What am I doing to myself?”

Adonis, from ‘Concerto for the Veiled Christ’, Selected Poems (tr. Khaled Mattawa)

David Mitchell, Slade House

Jeanette Winterson, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit

“I want to give you everything. This is called a sickness.”

Camille Rankine, from Possession

“Love that incorporates, that devours the other person, that cuts the tendons of the will. Love as immolation of the self.”

Susan Sontag, from Reborn: “July, 1958”

“Love isn’t always magic. Sometimes it’s just melting. Where it’s black and blue. Where it hurts the most.”

Andrea Gibson, from The Madness Vase; “Maybe I Need You”

“Love? I wanted to go with him, to be on the strong side, for him to spare me, like one who seeks shelter in the arm of the enemy to stay far from his arrows. It was different than love, I was finding out: I wanted him as a thirsty person desires water, without feelings, without even wanting to be happy.”

Clarice Lispector, Complete Stories

“Isn't there / always something we want / more than our own happiness? / A pull toward the Fall. / Haven't we all loved too much?”

Danusha Laméris, from The Moons of August; “Apples”

Yves Olade, from When Rome Falls; Bloodsport, 2017

“You have done this a hundred times. Will always do it. Always. I’m so tired of your lack of everything thoughtful, wise about you. You act like a child, a child that just asks and asks and never thinks and sucks one to death, and I’m sitting here crying because it’s so hopeless to ever expect you to be otherwise.”

Anaïs Nin, in a letter to Henry Miller

“Why should anyone go through so much in order to be treated right?”

Alice Notley, Culture of One

“Another moment and I will tell you: it’s not joy but torture you give me.  I’m drawn to you as to a crime—”

Osip Mandelstam, from Selected Poems; “Feodosia”

“I felt a terrified pity for him, for this man who lived in such strange, secret places that, if I loved him enough to follow him, I should have to die.”

Angela Carter, from The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories; “The Bloody Chamber”

Ingeborg Bachmann, from The Book of Franza (tr. Jan van Heurck)

“Desolately we parted. Dear one. When we really parted later on, there were no tears, no comfort either. Something like anger on your side, resolution on mine; each of us understood the other. We were not yet through with each other. To separate that way is harder, easier.”

Christa Wolf, Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays (tr. Jan van Heurck)

[ON LOSING LOVE]: This is the model I propose. You are arriving home and as you approach the garage you try to work your routine magic. Nothing happens; the doors remain closed. You do it again. Again nothing. At first puzzled, then anxious, then furious with disbelief, you sit in the driveway with the engine running; you sit there for weeks, months, for years, waiting for the doors to open. But you are in the wrong car, in front of the wrong garage, waiting outside the wrong house. One of the troubles is this: the heart isn't heart shaped.

Julian Barnes, A History of the World in 10 and 1/2 Chapters

Rainer Maria Rilke, The Book of Images

“It isn’t, our story isn’t—isn’t a story anyone would have chosen to live. But, I had to ask myself…would you change it if you could? Would you? And I had to realize that I wouldn’t. So—that’s all there is to that.”

James Baldwin, Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone

Nikki Giovanni, from “[Untitled]”

...nothing remains of you but the memory of something painful, close to breaking or being lost, and somehow very near extinction.

...no me queda de ti más que esa reminiscencia de una cosa doliente, próxima a quebrarse o a perderse, cerca ya, de cualquier manera a su extinción.

Dulce María Loynaz, Absolute Solitude: Selected Poems; “Poema LVI” (tr. James O’Connor)

Sandra Cisneros, “Mariela”

[belvederewrites]

“She looked pale, mysterious, like a lily drowned under water.”

Latin: Videtur palla, mysteria, similis lilium immersit sub aqua.

Greek:φαίνεται λευκή, κρυπτή, ὁμοῖος τῷ κρίνῳ καταποντίζοντα ὑπό τὸ ὕδωρ.

—Virginia Woolf, Mrs. Dalloway (1925)

[belvederewrites]

16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere

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Rebecca Solnit, Hope in the Dark

[belvederewrites]

🥺

[belvederewrites]

𝖕𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖙𝖘.

01. “You are weak with love for her.” 

02. “You attack one of us… you attack all of us.” 

03. “Sacrifice, that’s what we do for the people we love.” 

04. “I thought they’d killed you. I lost my temper.” 

05. “I will find her, or I will die trying.” 

06. “Never saw one without the other, did you?” 

07. “Don’t you touch her.” 

08. “If I can still breathe, I’m fine.” 

09. “Kind of a pretty boy, isn’t he?” 

10. “Always have an escape plan.”

11. “I wonder what will get you killed first – your loyalty or your stubbornness?”

12. “Where you go, I go.” 

13. “These people are my family, and if you hurt them in anyway – I will kill you.” 

14. “You are my dearest friend. My deepest love. You are the best part of me.” 

15. “You are the sun.”

16. “Oh, darling, everybody sees how you look at him.” 

17. “The choices I’ve made I would make again, for him, no matter the cost.”

18. “In my defense, the moon was full and I was left unsupervised.” 

19. “I’ll choose her happiness over mine every time.” 

20. “Of all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you.” 

21. “That’s beyond stupid. He’s created a new kind of stupid.” 

22. “I’m just here to establish an alibi.” 

23. “People say that I am heartless.” 

24. “I stopped being a kid the day you sent me down here to die.” 

25. “Fight it, or accept it. Fear it, or control it.” 

26. “You save everyone, but who saves you?” 

27. “When I was a child, I heard voices.” 

28. “I think you are the sweetest thing.” 

29. “If you hurt my brother, I’ll kill you. I swear I’ll kill you all.” 

30. “Chin up, kid, they’d kill to see you fall.” 

[belvederewrites]

내 남편 ㅎㅎ

[belvederewrites]

Cori’s Adventure in Seducing an Emo Nerd EXTRA: Void Chicken

Series Masterpost 

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guess WAT

im playing stardew vally eue

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‘Cori’s Adventures in Seducing an Emo Nerd’ Part 10

SERIES MASTERPOST 

WEBTOONS

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My farmer during the Flower Dance… every time

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At Disneyland, in the teacups:

Elliott, Harvey, and Shane: [Just spinning a little bit and talking]

Alex, Sam, and Sebastian: [fly past them spinning as fast as they can, Alex and Sam screaming their heads off as Sebastian just sits there]

[belvederewrites]

playing stardew valley recently…☺️☺️☺️

[belvederewrites]

…im noticing a pattern… in my choice… of daddy…