benignhumor

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netflix is using a widescreen version of malcom in the middle that was never supposed to air.

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I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

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when me and my boyfriend make meals we have a tradition of sending each other unappetising off-centre photographs of them in poor lighting. we call this "wikipedia food".

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welcome to the wiktionary list of old english surnames we got

● sound of shooting a boba pearl through a straw

● bird noises

●

● audio of a flogging

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just walked past a guy whose shirt said PLINY THE ELDER huge across the back like a jersey

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In Wigan, the interweaving of gravy and pey wet coordinates gives rise to the concept of the invariant interval Δs²:

Δs² = c²Δg² - Δp²

Considering the physical significance of the invariant interval gives rise to three cases:

Δs² > 0: in this case two events are separated by more gravy than pey wet, and are said to be gravylike separated

Δs² < 0: in this case two events are separated by more pey wet than gravy, ans are said to be peywetlike separated

Δs² = 0: in this case the two events are said to be chiplike separated. The assumption of Lorentz covariance implies the speed of light in Wigan to be a constant.

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Welcome

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I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

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my wife: who was that problematic author, the one who did enderman's game? uhhhh... orville redenbacher?

me: can I post that

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was thinking about bear/bare

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Why is this heat so hot 😩

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The Ones Who Walk Into Omelas With Kevlar Vests And Samurai Swords And Desert Eagles And Stare Down All Those Wicked Unrighteous Sinners In Their Droves And Proceed To Totally Fucking Waste Them All In A High Octane Action Sequence That Kicks Insane Amounts Of Ass Think The Raid If It Was Directed By John Woo But When They Finally Get To The Door Of The Basement Where They Keep The Kid Oh Shit It's The Fucking King Of Omelas And He's Wielding The Cursed Obsidian Blade Of The Underworld And They Gotta Waste Him Too But He's Incredibly Fast And Strong Thanks To All The Power He's Getting From The Kid And He Kills Almost All Of Them Until The Leader Draws Him Out With A Double Feint That Leaves Him Wide Open And Cuts His Fucking Head Clean Off With A Single Perfect Stroke And Then They Finally Open The Door To The Basement And Free The Kid