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I’m playing re4 and I caught the large bass, but it’s taking up so much inventory space that I need to get rid of it

but my mom is sitting on the couch all “You can’t throw away the fish!! He caught such a big fish all by himself, and you want to throw it away!?”

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Oh boy

Fake date +Body swap + Love triangle

Tag ur friends and mutuals!

@1-800-i-ship-it @dimobserver @valiantcoffeetiger @morimortaccitua @step-on-me-khun @savemycrustysoul @jill-8-7 and everyone else who wants to try

--

Ctto google

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Hottest James “Bucky” Barnes Moments:

3. you already know: The Black T-shirt

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so i watched Venom for the first time tonight....

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why have i been disgraced

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There have been several amazing posts about how Essek had no idea what was coming for him when the Nein showed up on the Bright Queen’s doorstep, and I’ve been thinking about how it’s delightful that neither did Caleb! Caleb himself was just starting the slow climb out of his own bottomless pit of shame and guilt - he’d only revealed his birth name to the Nein less than ten episodes before - and he had no idea when he walked into that room and pulled out the beacon, he was going to change everything.

Finding the love of his life, continuing his redemption arc, changing the course of Exandrian history - these outcomes all hinged on that one moment, where a dirty, traumatized wizard took a wild risk and went off-script.

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I mentioned this in a shadowgast server BUT I need to share it here.

Essek living way longer than the rest of the Nein is beautiful, actually, because he can get to know all of their children and grandchildren and he just gets to be the cool drow uncle for several hundred years.

His family grows bigger every generation, and he never knows a moment of peace and quiet again, but that’s ok. He loves it. He has a yearly family reunion on Rumblecusp.

Essek finally gets in touch with his brother again after like 100 years and Veiren is like “when did you get 500000000000 nieces and nephews and like only one is an elf, when did you start liking parties, what do you mean you were married, have you always liked gardening?? I’m happy for you but WHAT-”

And Essek’s just “lol wild right. come on we have a tradition of throwing tiny dicks into this volcano”

Veiren: (•_•)

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Caleb, ancient nearly beyond normal human years, frail and elderly speaking to the doting drow softly cradling him in his arms as they rest in their bed for the evening "You should have left before you saw me like this... I should have made you go..."

Essek, a wry smile across his face after he kisses the white wavy hair atop his lover's head. "Caleb Widogast. You are the man who saved my soul, showed me the meaning of love, and brought joy to my life. You saw me in my darkest moments yet you were not deterred. Forgive me the crime of being there for every last one of yours... And saving you from loneliness in every way you taught me."

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Professor Widogast is halfway through explaining why the runes for this particular evocation spell need to be drawn very, very carefully when an arcane flash emits a small elven figure into the empty space above his office couch, collapsing into the cushions with barely a word, only a muffled groan. The student sitting in front of him nearly jumps out of her chair.

The lines in Widogast’s face only wrinkle as he sits up and frowns. “Are you alright, schatz? Do you need anything?”

The student—who had been nodding silently along to his explanation, having come narrowly close to blowing herself up earlier in the week—blinks at the man who has just appeared in Widogast’s office and received such an unsurprised response, one laden with a term of endearment, no less.

“No, no, I’m fine,” the elf replies, voice faint with exhaustion. Though she can’t see much of his face, he seems to be young, his skin a darkened brown more common on the Menagerie Coast, though his accent is unfamiliar, and she mirrors her professor’s frown trying to place it. This doesn’t seem to be alarming to her distinguished professor, so she tries to match his stoicism.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Widogast asks, with more intention, and the elf moves enough to shake his head. She sees a flash of violet in his eyes, which is far more uncommon in the Menagerie Coast.

“No, narrowly so. I simply needed to make an expedient exit.” His voice is fainter still, and she blinks again—he seems to be half-asleep already.

He buries his head into a cushion, and Widogast nods. “Alright. Well, I’m going to finish up with Aleya, if that’s alright.”

He mumbles an affirmative, and his breath is already steady and slow by the time the sound fades.

Aleya glances sideways at him, committing elements of his appearance to memory—his modest but fashionable clothing, a brimmed hat that obscures much of his sleeping face, a significant quantity of silver jewelry, and a large ring gleaming with small arcane runes adorning his left ring finger.

She knows runes well—this is not the first time she has found herself in a professor’s office, working out how to make her rather unwieldy drawing skills form the shapes of them in ways that will not get her killed in the process of casting. She can’t quite places these particular glyphs, as small as they are, but they seem at least somewhat familiar.

When she turns back, Widogast is peering keenly at her with a crooked smile. “A friend. Pay him no mind.”

She nods, but leans forward, and tries to keep her voice as low as she can while still allowing the aging man to hear her. “Elves don’t sleep.”

“They can, especially if they are tremendously tired,” he answers at the same volume, and taps the side of his nose. “Let’s finish with these runes, ja?”

It takes another twenty minutes before he is satisfied with her penmanship, and she packs her spellbook and her texts back into her bag. “Thank you, sir,” she nods, slipping out of the door.

She hangs at the threshold of the door as it closes behind her, and hears the creak of the professor’s chair as he stands.

“Oh, merely a friend?” the elf’s voice asks, and she can’t tell if that’s humor in his voice.

“One of these days you are going to give a student a heart attack, and I am going to have too much paperwork to do.”

“Well, next time I will ask the Empire’s spies to give me an hour before they turn me over to the king.”

“And yet here you are in the office of a Rexxentrum mage, associated with the crown.”

The glyphs on the ring click in her mind. Illusion magic. Her jaw drops, and she shuffles away as quietly as possible, but she isn't quite out of eavesdropping range.

“Darling, as much as I enjoy the verbal sparring, I am quite exhausted. Are you joining me for a nap, or no?”

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The fact that both of the Empire kids ended up with a white haired goth slightly awkward Xhorhasian significant other who at first appeared intimidating but turned out to be huge a sweetheart (who can still whip out the intimidating when pressed) who both have big regrets in their pasts but choose to move forward and do good in the world is hilarious to me. 

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Essek, somewhere in the ruins of Aeor, probably: I love you, Caleb Widogast.

Caleb, a hand on Essek's cheek: For the rest of my life, ja?

Essek: Nein, my love. For the rest of mine.

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I am just absolutely consumed by the tweet matt liked about caleb trying to distance himself as he aged and essek reassuring him that the aging doesn't bother him because of dynasty culture. Obviously this includes consecution and the long years between reincarnations for couples like the bright queen and her wife but also in Explorer's Guide to Wildemount it specifically says that half drow children are very common in the dynasty so couples with vastly different lifespans are a norm there even outside of the consecution of the aristocracy. Like of course, of course caleb would feel so guilty and try to make it less painful for essek and think pushing him away would be the best option. But essek wouldn't let him, he would be his partner until the end, he has been surrounded by families like this, even as isolated as he was in rohsona, and he knows how to cope. Of course it will hurt when caleb is gone and he will grieve but it would hurt so much more to deny them as much of each other's love and company as caleb lifespan will allow, he doesn't care how old caleb looks, it doesn't matter to him.

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I'm so emotional about liam being so adamant that caleb would not romance anyone for the whole campaign up until reuniting with essek in ep 124. Like caleb really saw essek have a panic attack and chug whisky cocoa and said yes this is the man I'm going to be in love with for the rest of my life

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I love them, your honour.

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So expanding on my shadogast Bren AU idea ( Post here) (now i’ve slept) with M9 in this AU where evil but still the M9.

So one of the reasons the assembly are not actively opposing Bren with the shit he’s doing is because they are 1) terrified of him but 2) HE HAS THE SCARIEST FUCKING GROUPS OF FRIENDS ON SPEEDDIAL.

Like the blues tiefling whose wearing green priestess robes and the dick jewellery? And they are very sure is a cult leader but also brings muffins and cupcakes a lot and hugs everyone.

She’s married to some half orc who they thing is sunning or at least a member of a completely DIFFERENT CULT.

The there’s the person the they think is running a convert section of the cobalt soul and definitely plotting multiple assassinations who is married to the tall warrior who is the leader of YET ANOTHER CULT. And they have been caught making out in multiple top secret rooms.

Then there’s the halfling who is either Bren’s assassin or alchemist they’re not sure and at this point to scared to ask. She just appears in rooms and they have no idea if she’d teleporting in or has been hiding there the whole time. They’re also pretty sure she’s stolen from all of them…at least a few times.

Then there’s the purple tiefling leader of ANOTHER DIFFERENT CULT, HOW ARE THERE SO MANY CULTS THEY HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS? Who shows up in the most ridiculous outfits and flirts with everyone.

And then there’s the firbolg…and he’s the most scary because they have NO IDEA WHAT HIS DEAL IS, they don’t think he’s running a cult, or plotting to kill them, he seems nice and that’s FUCKING TERRIFYING. They have no idea what he’s planning though he has mentioned dead people tea WTF.

All of these are crazy protective of Bren, will and have gate crashed multiple assembly meetings even the secret very evil kind, and the one time they tried to assassinate the shadowhand walked straight in holding the would be assassins HEAD and were like ‘Try that shit again we’ll make sure Bren doesn’t invite you to the wedding’

The assembly is fucking terrified.

The M9 are totally wing manning Bren, the agree Essek’s perfect for him and so are totally to kidnap him/sway over to Bren’s side. Also they totally adopted him…

You signed up for treason tough hot boi you got a family now, come on let me tell you about my cult also here take a cupcake.

Essek is so confused.

The M9 put the chaotic in chaotic evil AU

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Okay I’ve been off my CR Bullshit for a while, but I’ve had a thought in my head for ages now that just won’t leave.

Shadowgast AU where they are Briarwood-levels of evil. Usurping positions of power. Bending reality to suit them and destroy their enemies. Absolute devotion to one another. Tinkering with exceptionally dangerous magics without boundaries. It could happen with enough ambition.

Like, you can’t tell me they aren’t a slippery slope away from “I broke the world for us.”

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Fjorester wedding oneshot with Isharnai trying to take revenge.

Shadowgast wedding oneshot with killing Trent.

Beauyasha wedding oneshot with... a lot of Beauyasha fluff? And also a friendly fight between them. (Do either of the have any living nemesis who would attack them?)