betsywoof - Tumblr blog

[betsywoof]

Some of y’all need to hear this

[betsywoof]

some thoughts on self objectification 

[betsywoof]

THE TEA!

[betsywoof]

starting a girl gang of girls aggressively supporting other girls so reblog if you want in because if we get enough people we’re getting jackets

[betsywoof]

Taylor Swift - Better Man at The BlueBird Cafe (2018)

[betsywoof]

escapes for when you feel anxious

exploring a flowery town with cute villagers

drinking a milkshake in an empty diner at 3am

real life that feels dreamlike

cute sunflower field dates

in love with the universe

softest love songs

living inside an 80s tv show

drinking tea on a cozy raining morning

you’re an angsty teen in a coming-of-age film

summer road trip in the west coast

vacation in san francisco

living in an old French film

stargazing and contemplating the meaning of life

late night drives in a 90’s movie

watching a beautiful sunset over the beach with someone you love

feeling dazed and drifting off under dreamlike sunlight

going to the beach in a camper van in 1960′s california

collecting whimsical music-boxes and taking pictures of clouds in paris

falling asleep on the moon

city lights at midnight

half dreaming,half awake in faded 60s sunlight

remembering someone else’s memories like they’re your own

being the guardian of a snowy forest who befriends wolves and takes care of baby fawns

being in a vintage fairytale

wandering the avenues of vintage New York City

living in a cinematic landscape and watching over a magnificent scenery

exploring an art museum

eating fruit in a small italian seaside town

[betsywoof]

retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart. 

now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.

so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot. 

and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register. 

and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”

and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times. 

i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”

she pays and leaves without another word.

[betsywoof]

Mt Rainier

[betsywoof]

why “allosexual privilege” isnt real and why everyone (ace or not) is punished for their sexual (or nonsexual) expression because of the fact that sexual expression is used to justify violence for other existing power structures and because sexual expression itself is not an arbiter of privilege

I think the thing so many aces miss in the conversation about the way society views sex is that yes, you’re 100% right in the fact that we live in a highly sexual society! You cant watch a TV show these days without being blindsided with sex scenes that you (or anyone else) never asked for.

But that doesnt mean that everyone who isnt asexual benefits from these things either. The assumption that there is some sort of privilege with being non-ace because of the amount of sexual content we are exposed to all the time is just a misinterpretation of reality.

Because really the only people whose sex is socially acceptable is straight white cis men. Just because we all see sex everywhere doesnt mean that all people are materially or socially rewarded for having sex. Whether or not the type/frequency someone has sex is entirely based upon other factors, almost always reliant upon other existing oppressions like racism, sexism, transphobia, etc.

Being averse to the sex we are shown frequently in advertisements, movies, and other forms of media is not a product of being ace. It’s a product of being something other than a cishet, white, able-bodied, upper-middle class man. Having sex, wanting sex, seeking out sex, and having sexual feelings are not things people in general are rewarded for. They are things oppressors are rewarded for as an expression of dominance and freedom over the oppressed.

Ask yourself this: when I think about who experiences societal benefits for having/wanting/seeking out sex, am I thinking about the general population or only a specific subset of people? Does every individual reap some sort of benefit from being non-asexual, or is it actually entirely dependent on other factors?

Are black men rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they demonized as predators that need to be stopped to protect white womens virtue and often punished for sexual behavior they didnt even engage in?

Are trans women rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they similarly seen as predators out to “trick” cis men into sleeping with them, or even reduced entirely down to a sexual fantasy (“autogynephilia”) instead of understood as actual human beings who might just have human desires?

Are gay men rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they at best mocked and emasculated for being “effeminate” and at worst sent to conversion therapy or killed to curb their sexual desires?

Are disabled people rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or do disabled people actually experience some of the highest rates of forced sterilization, alongside immigrants and native peoples, to take away their reproductive rights and take away their sexual agency, or turned into a fetish for an able-bodied person to get off on?

Are bi women rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they actually dehumanized, subject to the highest rates of IPV in the LGBT community because of their perceived hypersexual nature, and literally seen as sex toys incapable of having boundaries by straight couples looking for a ~freaky~ night?

What about all LGBT people in conversion therapy, is them wanting to fuck other people of the same gender helping them or is the entire program designed to traumatize them out of that desire?

Are black women rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they too highly sexualized and dehumanized, viewed as hypersexual and mannish, painted as “welfare queens” trying to “trap” a man into 18 years child support?

What about all women in general? Are women rewarded for having/wanting/seeking out sex, or are they literally told from the age of twelve that having sex is like being a piece of gum that has been chewed, or a flower that has been crushed, or a piece of tape stuck to skin that will lose its adhesive, or that sexually active women are sluts and that they are “asking” for abuse, or that their unwanted pregnancies are “punishment” for sexual promiscuity and they deserve to be saddled with a child they cannot afford, do not want, are unable to care for, etc in an attempt to stop them from behaving in that behavior?

Who actually experiences any sort of benefit for being a sexual person? Is it anyone who experiences sexual attraction, or only people with other specific privileges who are allowed to express their sexual desires without punishment? And if having sexual feelings/desires/attractions actually doesn’t automatically grant somebody more privileges in society, if it is something dependent on other factors and something that is actually used to punish marginalized people, then how can anyone claim that having those sexual feelings is a privilege? Does that even make sense? Does it even make sense to divide society into two classes of people and claim that the one that experiences no actual benefit by virtue of their sexual attraction alone has privilege over the other? Does that seem like a useful line to draw in terms of privilege considering whether or not someone is punished or rewarded for their sexual behavior has nothing to do with the act of engaging in that behavior and everything to do with who it is engaging in that behavior?

Wouldnt it follow that the sex we are all exposed to is not a result of sexual attraction being a unuversslly rewarded experience or behavior, but actually a symptom of already existing oppressive structures that allow those who are not punished for their sexual attractions, the cishet abelbodied wealthy white men, to be in charge of the media? Wouldnt it follow that we see all that sex not because society as a whole is enjoying and benefitting from it, but because the sex is put there specifically by the people who enjoy and benefit from it because they are otherwise privileged?

And none of that is to say somebody cannot be punished for not experiencing sexual attractions in a similar manner to how somebody can be punished for their sexual attractions. Any expression of sexuality (or lackthereof) that goes against the desires of the oppressor will be punished. That includes women who dont want to have sex with their boyfriends, men whose lack of sexual desires makes them a target with their peers because of their inability to fulfill their dominsnt role as a man, trans women who refuse to be seen as sex objects for straight men to use and abuse, lesbians who do not want to sleep with men, bi women who do not want to be in threesomes with random couples, etc.

Any expression of sexuality can be used as an excuse to justify violence, but it isnt the expression of sexuality that incites that violence; it is who is engaging in that expression of sexuality is allowed or not allowed to based on existing privileges. Sex, and lackthereof, has always been a weapon for justifying and enacting violence against oppressed peoples, not the driving cause behind being oppressed or privileged.

[betsywoof]

THE UPDATED WALDYNWRITES MASTERLIST

STARTED: AUG. 26, 2018 LAST UPDATED: DEC. 25, 2018 TOTAL WORKS: 40

Keep reading

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That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

[betsywoof]

escapes for when you feel anxious

exploring a flowery town with cute villagers 

drinking a milkshake in an empty diner at 3am

real life that feels dreamlike

cute sunflower field dates

in love with the universe

softest love songs 

living inside an 80s tv show

drinking tea on a cozy raining morning

you’re an angsty teen in a coming-of-age film

summer road trip in the west coast

vacation in san francisco 

living in an old French film

stargazing and contemplating the meaning of life

late night drives in a 90’s movie

watching a pink sunset over the beach with your best friend

going to the beach in a camper van in 1960′s california

falling asleep on the moon

city lights at midnight

remembering someone else’s memories like they’re your own

wandering the avenues of vintage new york city

being the guardian of a snowy forest

exploring an art museum

eating fruit in a small italian seaside town

[betsywoof]

Types of students: drink edition

Tea - has a lot of plant life around their desk, has a study schedule they follow, colourful notes, v organised, studies before class, little but often

Hot chocolate - eats a lot of food when studying, messy handwriting, procrastinates a lot, random motivation bursts, has too many pens, mind maps, loves the smell of coffee but hates coffee

Coffee - probably hasn’t slept in 7 years, “we had homework?”, uses only black pen, minimalistic notes, flash cards, uses only one highlighter

energy drink - the most unorganised person you will ever meet, actually has no idea 24/7, hyper af, barely makes it to class, 

[betsywoof]

types of students ; study locations

library - prints or handwrites everything, makes their own study guides, always forgets headphones, watches netflix during their study breaks, owns a million pens but only uses like two

cafe - chai or matcha fiend, dresses up to feel productive, organized purse or bag, studies with one earbud out, everything academic contained on laptop or tablet

in bed - tendency to skip classes that don’t take attendance, fond of bubble tea and sweets, studies best when wearing comfy clothes, addicted to cute stationary and pens

lounge - no inside voice, takes charge on group projects or study sessions, master at using microsoft office, owns a million insulated coffee mugs, wireless headphones, actually wears a watch

kitchen table - cannot study without a snack, only drinks coffee they made themselves, keeps phone plugged in 25/8, likes to spread out, makes to-do lists on scraps of paper then loses them

bedroom desk - a creature of habit, gorgeous bullet journal, fiend for candles or diffusers, easily distracted by youtube or tumblr, eats a lot of fruit as a snack, talks to themselves while studying

[betsywoof]

types of people: concept playlists

2am - city lights from a high rise, dusty book piles, tired eyes, writing stories, indie concerts, procrastination, denim jackets, classic movies, writing in a diary, impulse shopping, plants on the window ledge

5am - evening drives, dark circles under eyes, neon lights, vivid dreams, broken handwriting, 90s music, leather jackets, tousled hair, late night phone calls, silver necklaces, flannel around their waist

10am - soft blankets, lover of routine, acoustic songs, good grades, bullet journals, pastels and plants, sweet coffee, freshly baked bread, cat washi tape, cozy apartment, long winter coats over turtle neck jumpers, tote bags

1pm - yellow socks, doodles, doc martens, strawberries in the garden, sunflower daydreams, pictures of clouds and best friends, a handful of flowers, peach slices, paint smears on clothes

5pm - gold sunlight, peach ice tea, whispered secrets, swimming in the lake, roses on the wall, french pastries, learning foreign words, soft voices, bike rides and summer picnics, wax stamped envelopes

7pm - dreamy sunsets, evening laughter, cursive handwriting, glossy makeup, soft lighting, photo booths, cherry ice cream, sparkling ocean waves, vintage mirrors, sweet tangerines on a balcony, flowers in a bath

11pm - scented candles, unwanted nostalgia, existential questions, sadness without reason, sitting in the dark and watching the stars, associating songs with past lovers, soft heart, oversized jumpers

[betsywoof]

Dealing with faliure

In high school I used to be terrified of faliure, getting a bad grade, not getting what I want in life. When I started uni I was sure I was gonna ace it, but, despite giving it my all i failed a lot of exams and even had to retake one of my classes. High school me would have been crushed. But I survieved. I’m alive. I didn’t quit. Here’s my advice if you are in a similar situation:

1. Be honest with yourself - each time you fail is a chance to learn something and prevent this in the future. Did you study enough? Did you study effitiently? Did you take breaks and find time to take care of yourself? Did you give yourself enough time?

2. Put things into perspective - uni isn’t high school. Things are harder. Professors have higher expectations. It is normal to fail in uni. Happens to everyone. Even the best students. You are not a robot and you can’t succeed everytime.

3. View faliure as part of the journey - it is going to happen sometimes. It’s not the end of the world. There is always next time

4. Reassess what you view as success - it is great to have ambitious goals, dont get me wrong, but make them realistic. Just because you didn’t achieve something you thought you wanted doesnt mean you cant be happy and successful

5. Misery loves company - when I’m going to a particulary difficult period in my accademic life, it helps a lot to be surrounded with people that are in the same sitiation. You don’t feel so alone and somehow as a group you always find a way to pick eachother up

6. Cry it out and move on - give yourself some time to be sad about it but at the end of the day its better to not waste too much time abd just try to make the best out of the situation

[betsywoof]