binaural-histolog - Tumblr blog

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Some tips for people into memory play with hypnosis:

First off, if you're the subject, MAKE SURE that you trust your hypnotist. This is something you only wanna do with someone that you know would not abuse it. Not everyone is affected enough to where its easy to do such a thing, but that's not a gamble you want to take if you find your hypnotist even slightly iffy.

If you're a hypnotist, be sure to inform your subject of all of this and take things very slowly at first. Make sure that they want to continue before doing more. Part of hypnosis a lot of the time is some aspect of role play, but you need to discuss what each party wants and is okay with beforehand. Install safeties to make sure that if something is happening that the subject doesn't vibe with, that your suggestions can be rejected easily.

That all being said, from what I've found, you cannot make someone forget information they've already taken in. Our brains are quite stubborn in that regard. That being said, there are ways to both limit information coming in and also ways to deal with recalling information.

So, here are some ideas:

Suggest as a trance begins to direct the subjects focus on your words, focusing so much on each new word that it's hard to remember what was said just a bit ago, going right to their subconscious instead of their conscious memory.

Focus on redirecting their memory when attempting to recall something specific. My hypnotist introduced me to this one, where any time you try to recall what happens during trance, the thought redirects to whatever the hypnotist wants. A trigger is the simplest, perhaps something that clears their thoughts like a bubble pop or something similar. In my opinion, it's important that what their thought is directed to is something specific like a visual for it to be effective, instead of something abstract like "you will drop when you try to think."

Another option is to suggest that the subject doesn't want to recall or think about the trance. This is most effective if a lot of your suggestions focus strongly on obedience and devotion. Your subject willingly wanting not to do it can't hurt.

The last option I have seen used well is to suggest that whenever you specifically ask your subject if they can remember something, it suddenly becomes impossible to think about or remember whatever you said. It can be a nice way to demonstrate the power of your suggestion and make it feel more legitimate and possible, which will then make it more effective.

However, the most effective practice, and the thing that will really set you over the top, is combining multiple if not all of these. If you have like 5 traps set in place, even if some fail, each layer has a chance to intercept the recall.

Those are all of my thoughts, there is almost certainly more though. Happy hypnotizing!

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Yes to almost all of it. PMR especially gets unfairly trashed.

But saying "trance can be detected on an EEG" is not what the study you cite is about. The article shows that in a single highly-hypnotizable individual, you can alter perturbational complexity index, a measurement used to indicate coma or NREM sleep using a neutral hypnotic induction.

Hypnotic suggestions can have profound effects on behaviour and experience in some individuals, e.g. producing realistic-seeming hallucinations (Oakley and Halligan 2013). At the heart of this debate is the question whether hypnosis changes the way the individual processes information. While this question is often framed by contrasting so-called state theories of hypnosis with socio-cognitive (‘non-state’) theories, this dichotomy is simplified, and hypnosis is likely best be explained by a combination of the two views (Kirsch and Lynn 1995;Kallio and Revonsuo 2003). Here, our aim is not to test between these two classes of theories. Instead, we solely focus on characterizing the global neural-level changes that accompany hypnosis. Our specific aim is to test whether the brain can be shifted to a fundamentally different dynamic state based on hypnotic induction.

They used a hypnotic virtuoso who had been "extensively evaluated in previous studies" and considered an "ideal research participant for a possible mechanism of hypnosis-related changes in brain dynamics."

And they make a point of going into the single subject design.

What we wish to show is that a one-word hypnotic induction by itself can at least in one participant induce large scale changes in brain dynamics.

So this study does not indicate that there is a distinct "trance" state in hypnosis, and doesn't even use the word trance for their own study. It's about how highly hypnotizable people can do things to their brains that look freakishly impossible on an EEG.

Legitimacy vs Selection Bias in Hypnosis

This has been on our mind a lot recently. It's mostly been sparked by the recent Mindless Banter podcast run by @theleeallure @enscenic and @hypno-sandwich where the three hosts spoke about how they dislike academic models of hypnosis and a recent post by @h-sleepingirl discussing why they herald hypnotic education.

One thing that is always going to be true about the advocates of our kink who have been involved with the community for a long time is that we are going to be experienced and capable hypnotists and/or hypnotees.

Likewise those who join and find themselves brought in to the fold tend to self-select; if a person is not able to find any success or joy in hypnosis because it's not working or they do not gel with the styles taught and practiced then they will not hang around.

This means that we have a functioning ecosystem of people who know the lingo, who are primed to react as they should and tend to have things work for them.

Which is great! It makes it so much easier to work out when everyone is on the same page.

But it also creates an insular community.

I've written before on why the insular nature of our community worries me.

One of the lines I wrote in that post was this

One of the big differences between the online erotic hypnosis community and the NGH (National Guild of Hypnotists) who rue our existence is that we do not require legitimacy to function when they themselves exist in a half-truth state where when receiving both of my certifications it was impressed that we needed to perform an uneasy dance of providing services without practicing medicine because hypnotherapy is not licensed psychology in the same was that chiropractors are not performing medicine.

Legitimacy is the idea of taking what we do, what we are, what we believe and what we practice and trying to make it valid to those outside of the community. It's performing studies, it's building a framework of hard rules, it's about pretending that we understand how the brain works beyond the anecdotal evidence that we witness it every day within our corners and communities.

Fact is, hypnosis is a malleable and belief-based practice that rests right in the middle between faith and science. As mentioned in the above linked post, trance can be detected on an EEG:

Source

Our last post on this topic just spoke about accepting that we exist in a soft science where what we believe, how we approach our beliefs and what ideas we allow to take root in our minds will have a firm impact on how the minds of the hypnotists and hypnotees we interact with.

Today I want to talk about why keeping the education and the science involved in the conversation is important.

Because, like the Mindless Banter crew, I have reached the point of my career in hypnoplay where should Dawn wish to induce a trance she need only find a partner, lay out what will happen and perform. The rest of it just happens.

Once you reach a level of confidence and community, it pretty much takes care of itself. The interaction between a hypnotist and a person who has never experienced trance before and the interaction between a hypnotist and an enthusiast will play out differently.

What I mean by this is if Dawn is approached in DM by someone who wants a session she will be able to pick up a number of tells without even noticing it on their confidence and experience. Someone shy, unsure and untrained will not dive straight in. Which makes the encounter less likely and even if it does happen it comes from the power dynamic of a teacher and student rather than two enthusiasts going to town.

This is normal and it's not a bad thing. It just means that the typical educator in the hypnokink community is typically aware of the "weight class" of their hypnotees which paints their expectations of how things will go and allows for a line between the way hypnosis is taught in 101 and how it is practiced in enthusiast circles.

It's why Progressive Muscle Relaxation is something which gets scoffed at a lot in our circles. The typical enthusiast does not need to spend 20 minutes on an induction when their typical partner is someone they can hold the shoulders of, stare at with intent and give permission for the hypnotee to drop.

That isn't to say that experienced hypnotists only play with experienced hypnotees. It just means that the majority of the play from those who educate does not match the material that we teach to beginners. Not a bad thing.

But it does breed this divide I mentioned. Between the experience of those who do this all the time and what is "academic".

So, besides helping new people into the community or playing in pure theoretical space, why must we keep the academic approach involved?

Well, first... the science does inform what we do. Yes, a lot of this is based on belief but there is a large amount of the science which is just fact no matter what we do. The neuroplasticity of traumatized brains is a topic we type about a lot given our dissociative disorder. I mentioned in my Dissociative Disorders and Hypnosis post that there are multiple studies that there's a higher hypnotic suggestibility in those with conditions that include dissociation as a symptom. The fact that this was being taught in a 101 class was why I made that post to begin with.

From my Mind Makes It Real post I mentioned that we need to be aware of the truths to keep ourselves in check. We should always be wondering "am I wrong?" about everything and the moment one lets go of the academic framework and commits to the loose ethos of "it just works" you lose a little bit of that footing and external perspective. We're an insular community and there's an element of "the popular ideas win out", not to stress a point too much but the whole hatred of the progressive muscle relaxation induction is a good example of this. I know a few community leaders who reflexively rant any time they hear it. These people have the ability to control the con schedule. They teach classes and part of their lesson is their personal disdain for that approach. This goes into the minds of those who were taught by that person and becomes part of the internal dogma. Suddenly you have a situation where a minority of people in the community need to defend the PMR.

I do not actually care too much about PMR but it really is one of the most accessible entry level trances and the disdain for it is a little gatekeepy, if I am being honest. I don't think any individual means for it to be something they keep out of the community but enough individuals following a trend creates a community concept, a widely held belief.

And hypnosis is entirely about widely held beliefs. Thus it is now a fact that PMR is boring and ineffective and there's more fun ways to do trance. That is an example, hopefully one that is understandable to an audience who are also into hypnokink (apologies to my non-hypnosis Tumblr followers, I hope if you're reading this you enjoy this peak into a little internet sub-culture).

Which brings me to legitimacy.

Do we really need it?

Hypnosis is both science and fantasy. A person attending a hypnokink convention could treat hypnosis with the technical skill and care that one would approach as roleplay, learning all of the different terms and all of the safety procedures and treating it as a psychological version of what can be physically observed.

But you may also have someone who treats hypnosis as roleplay and improv with a framework not too dissimilar from a tabletop sourcebook for D/s shenanigans that they can learn and play within much the same as a D&D player can switch to World of Darkness. I guarantee there are a large number of people in the hypnosis community who do this and they're not wrong for doing it.

But as I mentioned above. Hypnosis is a scientifically observable phenomenon and it is dangerous if abused. Heaven knows I know that more than most. One must not believe in the dangers for them to be real. An immature hypnotist is a danger to a hypnotee regardless of if they think they are roleplaying or performing edgeplay. And the same is true for a hypnotee, too. If one believes it's all roleplay then their limits and safety will be at a different level than someone who is aware of the risks.

One need only look to the dark corners of our community where covert hypnosis is practiced eagerly, recruitment is a game and personality erasure is an aesthetic to know that there are uncomfortably large swaths who are practicing hypnosis from the perspective of fantasy. I do not want to pull out the news articles about how Disney Deer brainwashing ruined people's lives again.

The good news is that within the educator/convention going portion of the community we do teach this stuff. We do make everything clear. We're not currently in a community where academic approaches are shrugged off.

But it makes me uncomfortable when experienced educators in the community forget how far their words reach and dismiss the academic for the sake of "what works".

We do not need to seek legitimacy for the eyes of those outside of the community. We do not Demand To Be Taken Seriously. We have a community where people are welcome to join or not join. We do not need external legitimacy.

But we need internal legitimacy.

We need the people who practice within our care to know that they're practicing with dangerous tools that can and will mess a person up if treated without proper care.

Safety and education require we keep room for the academic and seek to legitimize what we do or those who look at hypnosis as pure fantasy will not be able to recognize the risk.

At least, that's my opinion.

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For more of our ramblings on hypnosis and the hypnosis community, please check out our Hypnokink Writing tag for other bits of education and commentary like this <3

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how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

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Maybe I don't emphasize this enough but one of the reasons I push constant hypnosis education is because the less you understand about hypnosis, the less capable you are of playing safer. More advanced knowledge = more advanced safety.

This applies to BOTH hypnotists and subjects.

There are certain beginner concepts that I would call "safety dead-ends": "This unwanted response happened because some part of you secretly wanted it." "Suggestions work because hypnosis makes someone suggestible."

Untrue, incomplete understanding limits safety SO MUCH.

"What makes me/my partner actually feel suggested IQ drain?"

It is: motivated by/creating desires, a role-enactment, a creative act, partially unconscious, draws on/creates associations, builds patterns/habits/familiarity, a learning experience, and much more.''

The more you actually understand what is happening in hypnosis -- not treating it like a magical black box -- the more you have control over identifying and mitigating risk, as hypnotist or subject. It is why I often push a non-state model of hypnosis.

This connects to something I was talking about re: suggestions -- simple statements where you are relying on someone just being convinced something might happen are not very helpful/effective.

"You will only respond to this trigger in this scene." Why?? Prove it! Help them!!

Triggers are associative conditioning. How do you ACTUALLY mitigate and replace a conditioned response? What is ACTUALLY happening both from their subjective perspective, and psychologically? What makes them keep responding to it? How could you change those aspects?

Writing about this more in depth for my upcoming "intermediate+ hypnokink" book :)

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For beginners in the hypno-kink community, do you have nice some inductions that you like using? Inductions that can help you get into the swing of it all?

So, I’m going to give you the advice I know is usually given to beginners, then I’m going to give you my personal opinion, and then the best advice I’ve found for hypnosis.

Mostly recommended for new hypnotists are:

PMR’s or progressive muscle relaxation induction, where you walk someone through the process of relaxing every muscle group in their body and just slowing down.

Journey induction, which is where you tell the story of walking along a beach and noticing the breeze and hearing the seagulls, and so on. Drawing in as much relaxing language and kinesthetic/audio/visual details as possible in order to remove the person’s focus from there here and now.

Eye fixation induction, which is your classic watch the pocket watch, stare at a spot on the wall, look at this spiral, fixate on this blinking light sort. Anything will do, but things that are ever so slightly too high than their resting head level and/or slightly overly close to their face (five to three inches from the bridge of the nose roughly–keep your subject’s comfort in mind always because some people have phobias) tends to be the sweet spot. Not required for a successful trance, but very helpful to speeding up the eye fatiguing feeling and overloading the mind a bit into retreating into trance.

My personal feeling is that PMR’s are a standard and a fine thing to have in your toolbox just to say you have it but…I skipped them entirely when I was learning and didn’t add them back in until a year or so into the process. At that point I learned them just because most of the people I played who knew anything about hypnotizing someone were using them and I figured I should try? But they’re lack luster and I think that while they work…just about anything else works better and faster while being less predictable and dull for the subject (and dull for the hypnotist)–especially if you’re wanting hypnosis for kinky reasons. The only use of PMR I’ve seen not be dull in kinky play was when a friend accidentally in using it found out their subject was a foot fetishist and spent the rest of the time focusing there and made an on the spot induction surrounding their kink with vaguely PMR language. They definitely got into trance, everyone had a lot more fun doing it, and the subject got a hypnotist giving them personalized attention rather than a script in a can.

Journey inductions are fine and well, especially once you understand any journey can do and start to be far more creative and brainwashy/sadistic/sexual/add-your-favorite-flavor-here with the journey that’s taken. Exact same induction, but we’re getting to the good part much quicker. Even if you’re dealing with someone who kinks almost exclusively on hypnosis, a walk down a beach isn’t going to nearly scratch that itch as hard as a walk through being a subject of a stage show getting re-induced over and over in very tropey ways.

Eye fixation is really versatile and it has my affection just for that feature. I find the best uses of it to be intimate things like looking into each other’s eyes, or using an object as a fixation that has significance or you can attach significance to for the person, or using a thematic item that’s going to be part of your scene as your point of fixation (or if your scene is just going to be really sexual, have your fixation be your favorite body part they’re going to be worshiping). It’s also easy to leap from eye fixation to things like the butterfly handshake which is utilizing some of the same mechanisms but faster (and rougher if you do a nice body jerk for the pattern interrupt at the end…y’know if you’re into being rough). But I’m also really partial to pattern interrupts. Which means I’m now going to do beginner sacrilege and recommend you get into those sooner rather than later. They are fun, they are effective, and they encourage you to start to think like a hypnotist sooner and look for all the lazy ways our brains work in order to take advantage of those built in holes and hiccups for fun and profit.

My main issue with all of these beginner recommendations is I feel like if you’re teaching someone who wants to use hypnosis for a kinky reason rather than a therapeutic reason, we can really speed this thing up. The induction, deepener, and following trance are frequently taught like hard separations but in practice they can all blur and usually are best when they do. You don’t have to do time in the beginning learning therapeutic language only to have to figure out how to wind your kink back into your hypnosis afterwards. You can just…do that shit. But I’m also someone who is very self taught and long enough in the tooth in my practices to be set in my ways.

So I’ll end it on the advice I’ve found to be the best advice in hypnosis since I started. Do what works. It’s not the above? It’s something different entirely? And it’s working well for you and your subject(s)? Do that thing. This isn’t an incantation that must be followed exactly in order to make it work. Color outside the lines, especially when you’re first learning. You’ll learn not just how to hypnotize someone, you’ll also learn why it hypnotized someone and that’s far more valuable.

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My friend @spiralturquoise is getting the local group he runs off the ground again, and we had an awesome meeting this weekend (topic of “beginner-friendly hypnotic inductions.”) We invented new shit, everyone learned things, and a bunch of people tried things for the first time.

My girlfriend @sealedbeastnue hadn’t been to these before and wasn’t sure if she wanted to participate, but asks to try the butterfly induction on me after seeing it demonstrated. It was a little awkward but still kind of worked, and felt good. Then she asks if I want to try it on her, which I honestly hadn’t considered at all. But you know what, I went for it and it also was kind of awkward but sort of worked! It was definitely something cool happening, which is a little more than I expected for my very first try, and her first time as a subject as well.

Later, everyone got talking about quick inductions that don’t require touch, and landed on the idea of trying some kind of pattern-interrupt thing with reciting times-tables, and adding eye-fixation because why not.

I said I wasn’t sure that would work for me because I never actually memorized my times-tables very well, I’d have to think about the math too much to get into it. But I let my girlfriend try it on my anyway (the touch version), and it did work! Just as more of an overload thing. It turned out following her finger and trying to focus on that as well as the calculation was lulling me into something already. I’m starting to process and speak a little slower, and noticing that reaction reinforces itself. We got to the point where I mumbled “20” in response to “6 times 4” and I knew that was wrong and was opening my mouth to maybe correct myself, and that’s when she pulls my shoulder saying “sleep.” After I flop forward in my chair, she kisses the back of my neck and Let Me Tell You, that whole thing felt good. Basically that was just the right moment to seize on, and pretty impressive given that she didn’t know much about hypnosis going in, but did know me.

And then later I tried the butterfly on her again, and it worked somewhat better. Everyone seems to say that experience as a subject will help you be a better hypnotist, and I’m like, “yeah sure, probably.” But as I actually tried my hand at it I was thinking “hell, there’s no way I could have been messing around with this stuff for almost a year without picking up something, right?” It was fun, feeling her arm go more loose, and watching her go from slight nervous smile to a more neutral expression. So, uh, I don’t know. We’re gonna experiment :)

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I dont know if you read these, but your newbie guide for hypnosis was really helpful, finding info on the is stuff is very hard, especially when you dont know where to look, so having so much consolidated in one place really helps. Thanks a bunch!

I'm so happy it helps, and reading your post put a smile on my face. Glad you like it!

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I wrote a hypnosis guide for newbies that talks about the components of hypnosis and shows several different inductions to show the commonalities.

Can I get some advice from any hypnotists out there?

Genuinely I would like to learn about the process of dropping someone. Some suggestive text and a spiral always does the trick but I want to break somebody’s will with nothing but my voice and some hand gestures.

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Rule #34 lives up to the name.

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Mindless Banter: Episode Zero - Linny Bee Listens

Mindless Banter is @enscenic , @hypno-sandwich , and @theleeallure

I do not like podcasts as a rule. I've got feelings about voices and a brain easily distracted if there isn't a face or caption to also hold my attention. However! These are such amazing friends, I'm going to listen on my way to and from work- when I'll be a captive audience.

This intro music is lovely 🤩

Will there be an episode where y'all invite folks who do kink on the education and why it works and how brains work? It's lovely that you all agree and it shows how easy it can be to fall in with folks who share your interests and quirks within this scene.

I'm really glad Lee discussed how files work for her. I'm going to confess that that's how I experience files now and I had thought I was broken. I listen to the file, remember the beginning and the awakener and then have to scrub through the file to go oh okay they discussed this or that. My brain started doing that during my time with an abusive hypnotist so I had lumped it as a weird trauma thing my brain was doing to protect me-- but I'm sorta curious about exploring it as something natural and celebrated.

I love the discussion of each hosts background and how and why they found themselves where they are today. I think it's important to recognize that people find this kink from so so so many avenues- we've got three well known voices here; I'm excited to see how they come at each episode and what it might sound like to add in other voices for reactions. The spill the tea and review files/creators possibilities have me anticipating next [time period]'s offering.

Oh. Oh no. Lee is discussing the swarm of people that surround DJ at cons and has named them DJs Harem. I am instantly concerned. Am I in DJs Harem? Oh dear. I think I am. 🫤

It's fascinating how clearly and cleverly these three work together. Noelle has such a strong voice, the organized presence willing to head off into banterland with humor (the laughter 😆) and opinions; Lee gives a fantastic elevator pitch- that is every thought seems well planned and designed to concisely convey and convince you; DJ, the lovely diplomat, quick to pipe in with a quip or to smoothly fill in the gap of a discussion.

Look, I'm a fan girl. It's how I operate and I think that's a known fact about me. So these words are biased. I wanted to enjoy this podcast and so I did. But I am genuinely excited to hear what they banter around next and how the show will be shaped as they go on. Five stars all around!

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Good evening!

I have a couple questions for you if you would be so willing.

First is dealing with imposter syndrome/not feeling ready. I've been very interested in hypnosis for over a decade now and have kept tabs/read books on/ even taken Wiseguy's class on the topic, but I never feel quite there. Have you/do you deal with this feeling as well, and if so what works for you in combating it?

Secondly, where can I find people interested in both topping and subbing? I've been on multiple discords/hypnohookup/fetlife, but I feel they are too overtly/explicitly sexual from where I want to start off. I feel like that is done after having had a session or two to figure each other out and having a healthy discussion, since trust is at the very core of hypnokink.

Thank you for your time!

Have you/do you deal with this feeling as well, and if so what works for you in combating it?

All my life, I've had a shadow. It tells me I shouldn't be here. That I'm not ready. If I make something happen, it laughs and then points out all the obvious mistakes I've made. It's not fear, not anger. It's pure negativity.

There's a couple of mistakes it makes though. If I curl up into a ball and do nothing, it doesn't approve of me and then go away. It will tell me I'm useless, incapable. And if I'm really happy with something I've done, it will try to distract me with other things or tell me it's a fluke. It has one damn note it keeps playing all the time, and it cannot stop.

I wondered exactly what it wanted or what would make it happy. Then I realized nothing would make happy, because it wasn't a person. It was just an emotional mirage, throwing my own image back to me in a black mirror. It didn't feel anything any more than rain or gravity feels things. It's just there. Poking at it with my thoughts made it jump around like a puppet on strings, but it didn't think or do anything by itself. It was a feeling.

Imposter syndrome is a feeling. It won't go away because you work hard or work past it or try to think the right thoughts at it any more than the rain will go away because you're wearing a raincoat and rain pants. It's not about solving imposter syndrome. You just get to a point where you accept that sometimes that feeling will happen, and it's okay.

The reason it's okay, for me, is that hypnosis is play. Mistakes happen in play, but if you're having fun and finding joy in stupid shit, you're doing it right, even if you still have that imposter syndrome feeling all the way through.

It took me a year to tell my partner I had a hypnosis fetish. I had a full on panic attack when I told them I wanted to hypnotize them. I was terrified that all the fantasies I had about brainwashing and controlling people were going to inevitably corrode my ethics and turn me into the monster I always knew I was. I knew it was bullshit, but I'd had a lifetime of the shadow talking to me.

And yet... the first time I hypnotized my partner I felt like a five year old given five espressos and a new puppy. Did I screw up the induction? Yes. Did I lose track of my notes and forget half the suggestion? Yes. Was my voice trembling? Also yes. Did I feel like an imposter? Yes. Did it matter? No. Because we set up a schedule and we were going to do it again next weekend, and the goal wasn't to be perfect, it was to play and have fun.

My partner doesn't care about any of the authority or magic involved in hypnosis, so I didn't have to live up to any built-up images of hypnotism. What made a difference to my partner was that hypnosis helped with anxiety and rumination, and it gave us a chance to sit and be close and intimate together. One of the best things in the world is seeing my partner's face relaxed, stroking their cheeks, and tell them things that make them smile even if they don't remember them after the session. The actual experience of hypnosis was completely and utterly different from my fears.

The same goes for writing and presenting. I wrote An Alternate History of Hypnotism not because I want academic or community recognition. It'd be nice to have those things, but I did it because it was fun. Presenting the slides at Mindquake took all my social energy and left me unable to move for a good hour, but I got to show people the links between rhetoric and suggestion and work Mr Rogers into an erotic hypnosis conference. Did I fuck up bits? Yes. Did it matter? No. It was fun.

Your imposter syndrome is a feeling. That feeling may go away or it may not. But the feeling of having fun and enjoying yourself will still be around, and no-one is there to look at the bits that don't work, they are there to look at the bits that do.

Secondly, where can I find people interested in both topping and subbing?

I'm only barely part of the scene, so this is going to be mostly from what I've heard other people say.

Trust and a healthy discussion of kinks should be the first thing that happens. Starting from fetlife/discords/hypnohookup is going to get you people who are "horny on main" so they will most probably not hang back and talk.

Go outside. Go to fetlife munches and hang out and meet people. Look for general openminded kink people, hypnokink is still enough of a niche that the potential pool is much larger than the actual one.

Once you know roughly who people are, then go on a low-effort date to see if they're a top/bottom, how they got into kink, and what their interests are. Then they ask about you, and you explain your hypnosis kink, what you like about it. Depending on how the date is going, you might give some examples of hypnotic suggestions that just so happen to align with their interests and kinks.

If it works out, great! If not, you keep going. Dating is like interviewing, it's not personal and there will be ten or twenty dates that don't work for every one that does. As long as you treat people like people and also feel like you're being treated as a person, you're doing it right.

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WHAT IS MINDFULNESS VS HYPNOSIS ACCORDING TO ELLA ENCHANTING (haver of opinions)

One misconception that I often hear amongst hypnosis geeks is that "mindfulness" is basically a normie-safe word for "hypnosis"- that hypnosis and mindfulness practices are essentially the same thing.

This is a hard misconception to disprove- in fact, "hypnosis" and "mindfulness" are often defined really vaguely and in different ways by different people so- they could often very well be refering to the same thing!* I know when I first learned about mindfulness practices, I dismissed them as "just" repackaged hypnotherapy- something I already knew a lot about. However, in doing so, I was neglecting ideas that turned out to be a really useful self-improvement tools.

If you're of a similar mindset, drawing a distinction between the two may also be really helpful for you.

MINDFULNESS:

So, the end goal of mindfulness is learning a kind of grounded way to self reflect. It's a potentially really helpful skill for people who get caught in thought spirals** or overwhelming emotions. A big goal for people learning the skill is to be able to observe thoughts and emotions without entirely buying into them OR dismissing them. Let's say I have a train of thought that keeps looping in my head- I'm worried about something stupid I said yesterday at work, for example. Imagine that train of thought is an ACTUAL train- maybe a toy train running on a looped track. Normally, when you're having the work worries it's like you're on that thought train- riding it around and around in circles while you're getting increasingly anxious and kind of limiting yourself from doing other things. With mindfulness practice, the goal is to get you OFF the train- it's not gone, but you're kinda watching it from the sidelines instead of ON it. It's still happening but with a bit of distance you can see the thoughts more clearly and better take care of yourself while that thought track is running.

Another example- let's say I have a big feeling. I'm going to pick overwhelming shame***. In mindfulness practices, the goal is usually not to ignore the shame or entirely give into it but to be able to sit with it and understand it without DROWNING in it. So, in that state of mind, I might sit with the shame and kind of question why it's there and what it wants from me. I might find some kindness for myself as someone who is experiencing shame (which is harder to do when I'm more inside it). I might work to conceptualize the shame differently- what does it look like, what sounds does it make, etc. In that way, I'm paying attention to an emotion that might be helpful- but not overly giving into it.

If I were teaching someone mindfulness techniques, the goal there is for them to be able to use the techniques entirely on their own whenever they need to. I'm not really trying to overly influence or control what's happening for them- I'm keeping my language as permissive as possible and encouraging them to accept whatever comes up. "Notice what's there without feeling like you need to change it" is a common mindfulness instruction. The practice encourages curiosity and bravery in the face of the overwhelming STUFF of life.

HYPNOSIS:

There are lot of different ways people do and experience hypnosis- and I'm definitely not going to be able to address all of them here. But, at least in kink, my goal in hypnotizing someone is to directly influence their thoughts. In fact, when I'm hypnotizing someone, a lot of my "induction" is convincing someone that I'm already in their head- that they're responding automatically to my suggestions. There's the kinky control fun of that and also the mutual shared feeling of intimacy- we're so close we could be one. (Or, in more D/s-ey terms, we're so close that now you are an extension of me!) In 101 classes you'll learn about the pacing and leading technique- basically matching your subject's experience and then taking them a step further. (Ex. You're reading my words and focusing on the screen and that reminds you to take a deep breath NOW.)

Explaining it by cold control hypnosis theory****, during an induction I'm helping someone kind of flip OFF their awareness of their agency- creating the illusion that things are happening internally because I'm MAKING them happen (and disguising the part where they're in complete control of their actions).

Especially in kink, what we're doing in hypnosis play is often a really conscious power exchange. You're giving me power over your thoughts because you want me to have it. I direct them where I want them to go and away from where I don't want them to be (ex. the actual reason why you're relaxing is, in part, because that's a natural thing that happens for most people when they close their eyes for more than a few seconds). (That's an excellent babysitting/parenting pro tip from me to you btw.) It's not that subjects aren't actively contributing their own images/ideas/metaphors/desires to the suggestions and play (really often they are!) but usually their whole goal is to be directed.

Even in hypnotherapy, that directedness and control is implied. You're not coming on (nearly) as strong as you would in kink, but your goal there is usually more in direction (with teaching self hypnosis techniques as an added bonus).

Sometimes the hypnosis and mindfulness methodologies can be incredibly similar with really subtle differences! For example, I might start a mindfulness-teaching body scan in the same way that I might start a progressive muscle relaxation induction- "Go ahead and get into a comfortable position and close your eyes". But continuing with the hypnosis induction, I'll usually be more directive ("Notice your feet. As you're noticing them, imagine sending a wave of relaxation down to your toes.") whereas with the body scan I'll be more exploratory. ("Notice your feet. What do they feel like? Are they hot or cold? Do they want to move or stay still? Whatever is happening for them right now is fine- just notice them") The pmr induction is intended to move someone into a suggestible state, the body scan is intended to teach someone a particular mindset and focusing skill they can use later. *****

Like I stated before, things that I consider "hypnosis" ideas and techniques and "mindfulness" ideas and techniques get mixed up all the time- with both lay folks and the actual professionals who teach them. There's a lot of surface similarities. "Mindfulness" has become such a therapy and corporate buzzword that it often DOES become synonymous with things like guided relaxation. Both concepts are vague enough that there's a lot of things that can easily be either/or- I'm thinking self hypnosis specifically here******. But- I hope if you're curious about mindfulness at all, you'll find this explanation useful and will maybe go out and explore some helpful resources for yourself.

Good mindfulness 101 books:

Full Catastrophe Living- Jon Kabat Zinn

The Mindful Way Through Depression- J. Mark G Williams et all

Just an FYI here at the bottom- like all self-help techniques, mindfulness stuff can be extremely helpful to some and not at all helpful to others. If it hasn't been personally helpful to you that's fine! I hope you've found some other things that are. Also, you can feel free to take my self help advice just as seriously as you would of any other kinky fetish blogger. :p I'm not your therapist, feel free to check in with them about things that might help you.

*I think people expanding the definition and ideas around both of these can be really helpful, in fact!

**Of the not-fun kind

***You know, like I normally do

****One of many hypnosis theories! And often not the best one for kink! If hypnosis doesn't feel like this for you, that's perfectly ok!

*****OK, in actuality both probably do both things! But the emphasis is different.

******A big difference in my mind- if you discover pain or discomfort, hypnosis-style techniques are usually directing you away from that while mindfulness-style techniques are usually directing you towards curiousity about those things.

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Hi! I'm not the original anon, but I have a follow up question if that's okay. Sometimes I struggle with my concerns about (what I now understand is called) hypnoamory and the fact that I think there's enough stigma around kink that romantic relationships stemming from kink are viewed as inauthentic or suspicious. How do you handle those two ideas if at all? They seem contradictory to me

Hi new anon! Thank you for the follow up question!

So- my point of view is that no emotion we experience is inauthentic. The reasoning behind an emotion may be flawed (ex. "I'm scared because the pope is spying on me"), it might be masking another emotion (feeling angry instead of sad), it might be temporary and fleeting, but what you feel is always "real". If you say you're angry, I can't run a blood test on you and determine you're not, you know? The only test we HAVE for emotions is that we feel them internally and subjectively. If you say you're in love, then who am I to say that isn't true?

We could say that hypnoamory is artificially created love because of the neurotransmitters and behavioral cues - but then ALL love tends to involve neurotransmitters and behavioral cues. Who we ARE is a big ole pile of neurotransmitters and behavioral cues (and gut bacteria) (and ancient, wonky survival systems). Even in situations where love feelings go away quickly after someone stops hypnoplay (@sweettist wrote a great reply to my initial post with a story like this), I personally* couldn't say those love feelings were fake, just that they were ephemeral.

If I'm viewing hypnoamory (or frenzy or infatuation or nre or any of these related ideas) cautiously, it's not because I think that what people are experiencing isn't "real". It's because I know people in those states are a little bit altered and may have a harder time setting good boundaries for themselves. It's kind of like seeing a friend move in with a romantic partner who they've known for a month. The move could work out great for them! But, I'm aware that often it won't- that my friend probably feels love but doesn't know yet about deeper compatability with their new partner/roommate. If I were giving my friend advice, I wouldn't say to break up with their partner because I'm concerned, but I might caution them to wait a few more months before moving in.

As far as how I personally balance feeling and caution:

If I'm playing with an inexperienced bottom, for example, I may be very slow and deliberate about negotiation (because I'm extra mindful not to cross boundaries). My own boundaries might be stronger- for example, I may not want to do intense play with them for a while. If they tell me I'm the best hypnotist in the world, I'll thank them but also take that compliment with a grain of salt. If they seem extra devoted, I might talk to them about it and possibly slow things down. I won't make long term plans for us yet based on how they're feeling right now because I'm aware that those feelings might change. (Or they may not! But in time we'll know better and be able to plan better).

If I realize hypnoamory or nre is happening to me (and it does!), I'll double check my own boundaries and try to think critically about my own impulses. I may consciously slow play or communication down for a bit so I feel like I'm making good choices. I might check in with others about my partner's reputation because I know I can't see their blind spots right now as well as I might want to.

That being said, I have long-lasting love for some people in my life that seems to have started with hypnoamory. I'm really glad I didn't give up on those relationships just because of strong feelings! I also have relationships that started this way and just petered out- or ones that were always one sided crushes. That's how love goes- especially when that love is early and intense. And all of that is fine! Those are things that happen in all sorts of relationships, kinky or not.

So, all of that being said- I don't see the contradiction, anon. This isn't an either/or, it's a both/and. Hypnoamory can be great and it can cause issues. Relationships stemming from kink can be healthy and they can be dangerous. Frenzy can exhaust you and it can give you a lot of cool new experiences. Infatuation can burn out quick and it can lead to lasting, healthy love. It's all in the nuances.

*@sweettist might have a different point of view on that, though! I think it comes down to how people would define "real" or "inauthentic" here.

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Gaslighting with Hypnosis

A collection of gaslighting hypnosis posts, from Reddit.

[binaural-histolog]

Not So Pretty Patterns

This is the story a man named Michael, or Neural Nets, or Petruccio, EvilPsychiatrist, BrainlessBecki, MistyGwen, MindFogger, Decognition and Bimbo Virus. 

A Decade of Lies and Manipulation

I don’t want to Trigger the trauma of his other victims by reciting stuff already on the web (Just search it up). What I want to do is share my chapter. What I saw, what I heard, and you may just have to take my word on it. 

Originally, I was a fan, I wanted to support him, I did. Hell, I wanted to be in his files, and eventually, I was, but after knowing him for some time on TumbLr, and other places, namely joining his Discord, I began to hear stories. People came to me, talking about abuse, and for a while, I played along, quite a while, and suddenly, the Real person behind the facade began to emerge. 

(I should mention here, I am empath, I pick up on people who lie, and this also means people can find me to be someone who is easy to open up to) 

It started, the moment I joined the server. I met with https://huntressm.tumblr.com in Voice Chat, had a great time and trance with her, and then conversation somehow shifted to consent, where NN was mentioned. She imparted wisdom upon me, and I listened mostly. 

I took Huntress’s advice as something of great value, and her and I would continue to communicate about it at a later date.  

I would soon learn NN had damning evidence against him, but for the time, I played along. 

Then, was about the time he decided to me a 5 dollar Whore in the server, for speaking too much, and I was silenced. I would then be put under Bliss’s care, for what she called “One word training”. 

Things got more cult-like…

Soon, members, myself included were involved in the gaslighting of other members, it was awful, and when any questioned it, they were peer pressured into following along like I was. People would be encouraged to confess things they experienced under hypnosis, encouraged to trance on the daily, and that is what ultimately led to Feather, the infamous file Neural promoted which had suggestions in it to “Forget all other people” and was the subject of trauma for some. You may have even read, dear reader, the story of Secret Subject, and her reaction to the file was not great. 

The Great Cult Clash of Hypno-kink

SS, bless her, just wanted NN to put consent warnings in the descriptions of his files. He did, but only after covering his ass which he had Mind Melters (his high ranking cultists) help out with, to strip himself of any responsibility for his actions. It IS a fact that when SS tried to speak out, they did everything in his power to make her look GUILTY. Not once showing a shred of care about consent, till it took to Tumblr, and it became hard to suppress. 

Then I got kicked 

Long story short, he manipulated a good friend, many actually, and with the help of Guzzles, aka Bliss, aka Amelia, that friend was led into a whirlwind of mental health issues. We have since rekindled and apologized to eachother. 

The Bitch is Back aka Deneuralization

After some time had passed, I contacted NN for re-entry. Veronica Mars was back on the case, and I immediately set out a plan to play honey trap, and squeeze this lemon of anything I could. I played along again, each time noticing no matter how high I got promoted, there was always this inner circle, an untouchable few, that did stuff in secret, so nothing bad ever got out. I also worked to get close to who I could, felt people needed protecting, to know the truth.

The Girl who Kicked the Hornets Nets and the VFD 

Soon I was on his good side enough to become a Mind Melter, this meant, I was a mod, and as soon as I became one, I was aware this was much, much bigger than I had ever imagined. He pulled all strings, everything to ensure the place ran like clockwork. Bliss became my boss, but we rarely spoke except for events like Friday Deep Drop. 

In drop, it was kinda hot, I’ll be honest, but I always had this worry, like it was a way of conditioning others to follow him, say the mantras like the girls in the files. On the surface it was inclusive, but deep down more or less a way to rope more people in. He has since deleted all evidence of the promotions, but they remain, as reblogs. 

Then I find out, I’m not the only one looking into all this. That SS and hero of the decade Hoosen, and many others, were also looking into it. We worked together, I method acted, kept digging, and kept finding more evidence. 

Exes, old friends, you name it, so many have interacted with him, and then bounced because of how manipulative he is. Speaking of bouncing, I find it fitting to note I got accidentally triggered by one of the suggestions from the file Bounce, while in the shower. Thankfully, I was able to gain a grasp on reality, some were not so lucky. 

I continued to poke and prod, finding out about more and more stories, just like mine. 

Hoosen’s Letter 

Then came the first truth bomb. Hoosen sacrificed himself in the line of duty, everything he worked to build, soon exposing NN and his past. 

This open letter (meta I know, so self-aware)

That leads us to here, and this very moment, where I write to you dear hypno community to say your stories are valid, and if he harmed you, and you are comfortable, speak up. You are not alone. Just today I finally got brave and called him out on his tricks. We are wise to them all, name changes, identity shifts, a true Count Olaf. 

Why He didn’t have the nerve to do it himself, I will never know, but I was in fact kicked again, like all before me, for just bringing some transparency. 

I ask you all, please, let him manipulate no longer. See it in your heads that what he did was wrong, and he is trying to this to evade punishment. See it in your minds to come to your senses like I have, and others before me. 

We want to say he could change, but after saying he was not coming back and giving control of the place to Aurora, ego pulled him back. 

Bliss aka Amelia, even knows he is an abuser, yet lets him do it anyway, wanting to be fucked up. Promoting it like others should do that too, and blurring fantasy and reality along the way. 

The Pink Room  

This was Amelia’s personal retreat, a public, but inaccessible audio channel originally just for her, a person brainwash room. When I asked what it was and if I could join, she shut me down fast. She knew more than she was letting on, and I knew it too. I’d see others join too, others closer to Amelia, people she had sometimes met IRL, I am to learn. We now have every reason to believe she was deliberate about all this. She wanted us to know she was getting fucked up. And we knew all right because she was so open about it.  

As a file girl

At first, it was liberating, like being a Playboy Bunny but ultimately, that wore off and it was clear he was just using us, for our voices, cause he disliked his own. At first, it was like “yeah cool, I get to work with people I have wanted”, but the cold reality is I recorded alone, having to press for tips by sharing what I recorded, till what was recorded was sufficient. Even then, it was clear who were the faves. It was clear he wanted to draw the most attention to the higher circle in his establishment, as I am only in a fraction of the file, despite recording the whole script. All this effort, for only a few seconds, here and there. And pretend praise when it was shared with those involved. He made it clear. He cared more about those who were established in mind-kink.

The illusion of Free Will

Ultimately, He’d like you to believe you have a choice, that you can quit any time, yet he also very happily admits his files are designed to addict people. Don’t believe me? Healsluts are what was it now? How about if I say Tick Tock? 1 2 3 4? 

These earworms, combined with advanced NLP and other tactics, are his main weapon. Why his server went to 4K, before declining, as people worked out what was really going on. 

You never have a choice, he makes you think you do, that it is a game, but

THIS IS NOT A GAME ANYMORE…THIS IS REAL. Real minds have suffered real life consequences, and he will say it’s a conspiracy, anything to make him not liable for the damage he has done. 

I love this kink, I really do, but I saw him lie and manipulate long enough, and it’s time it was out on the open.

He’s banned from conventions and forums on hypnosis for his behavior. He’s even broken laws just to make money off stuff that isn’t his. 

He is danger to all who love hypnosis, and the more people who know, the better. He has no intent on helping people with mental health issues. Only in being an earworm…that’s the bimbo virus summed up, and this entire year in a nutshell. 

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EROTIC HYPNOSIS FETISHISM: IMPLICATIONS FOR SEXUAL IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT, CONSENT, MINORITY STRESS, AND INTERSECTIONALITY