bionic-egypt

[bionic-egypt]

To the south of the lake lies a mountain, its peak so high it looks down on the clouds. Tunnels eat away at its insides. They lead off like the veins of a massive creature, aortas leading to capillaries leading to veins of precious ores.

Down, down, down, a cavern opens its giant maw to reveal sharpened spires of a castle carved straight from the rock. There are those on the surface who spend their entire lives trying to reach this castle, desperate to learn its secrets. Some of them manage to crawl their way there. Many vanish in the branches of the caves, trapped in the depths. To everyone who delves below the surface, their lives are an acceptable sacrifice.

The Deep Ruler sits on a stalagmite throne at the bottom of his castle. His eyeless gaze rests heavy on this people. They know so little about him. He has been underground for so long, some speculate he has never actually once been on the surface. Was he born down here, in these caves? Did he come first, or did the castle? What was he before he was Changed? Had he always been blind, or did the magick of Ravenwood take his sight in exchange for power?

What they do know is that he is locked in a tense feud with the Monarch, and has been since the last war over control of Ravenwood. The cause of their feud has been lost to all but the two of them. It doesn't matter to the citizens of the Deep Castle. They trust their Ruler and his judgment. Without him, they would be lost in the darkness. The Ruler leads his people against the Monarch, launching attacks that can't be traced back in an effort to both undermine the Monarch and keep them from retaliating against the Deep and reigniting the war in Ravenwood.

His people were the oness masquerading as common raiders who attacked the Monarch's festival and caused the Change to the Glass Princess. The Ruler cursed the outcome, hating that his own decisions led to the Monarch growing ever stronger.

One day, the Deep Ruler will drag the Monarch down into the mountain and make an example of them, to show the rest of Ravenwood what happens when someone tries to stand against him and his people. Until then, he will lie in wait far below the surface.

[bionic-egypt]

[bionic-egypt]

genuinely something so delightful about getting obsessed with your own characters. what do you MEAN I can turn my headcanons for my characters into Official Real Lore. that's so fucking cool are you serious

[bionic-egypt]

What if you poked me in the chest and your finger broke through like you were cracking into a rotted plank of wood and dust came out and I just crumpled into nothing and my spores got into your nose

[bionic-egypt]

Cleo's assessment of them all being competent individually but incompetent when they're together is both hilarious and true

[bionic-egypt]

just overheard my dad on the phone going “yeah, i’d be more than happy to buy her daughter off of you, how much would you be willing to trade her for?” and got Very Worried for a second before remembering that he manages dairy farms for a living. surely there’s gotta be a better way to word that man

[bionic-egypt]

Pearl life series fanart! it wasn't originally meant to be fanart i kind of just wanted to go for a stained glass person but realised i was just outlining pearl lmaoooo so here we are. the life series has infected me so badly i try to paint one stained glass person and it's a victor aughhhhhhh im so normal also very excited for the current season

[bionic-egypt]

Oh, you're a psychology major?

Name every psycho.

[bionic-egypt]

I don't want anybody going into debt for it, but if my funeral has the budget for it, I would like to have a carved portrait on my tombstone depicting Death as some sort of reluctant animal control professional, wielding one of those stick-loop things instead of a scythe, and myself as some sort of a wretched medieval manuscript creature that has no intention to comply with the process of being removed from the premises.

[bionic-egypt]

You can teleport one (1) single individual live seagull into any time or place in history. Where would you choose to put it to best fuck with peoples' heads and cause as much confusion as possible?

I'd pick Tutankhamun's tomb, just behind the sealed door, 30 seconds before the seal is broken and the tomb is opened. Imagine throwing that into the curse myth - just as these people are about to crack open the greatest cold one in history, knowing that this is what they'll be known for from hereon, they open the door that must not be opened, and out scatters a frantic, deeply baffled bird, entirely healthy and intact, fluttering away never to be seen again, with no apparent way of how it got in.

[bionic-egypt]

Siren baby learns how to sunbathe.

[bionic-egypt]

Fanfiction is so silly. I am playing with my dolls and people are coming over to watch. Some of them even clap and give me compliments. And when I'm done playing, I can go and watch other people play with their dolls.

[bionic-egypt]

Yeah so unfortunately, my friend was right. Muttering 'I'm gonna put on the greatest talent show this town has ever seen' darkly to myself is not only vastly funnier than saying I'm gonna kms, but is also somehow more concerning to anyone who might overhear it

[bionic-egypt]

I love it when fantasy tropes aren't just subverted by something explicitly opposite happening, but by having it look like the Standard Cliché Thing is happening, but then it turns out that this is not the case, and also there's actually a very logical and reasonable natural explanation to why it seems like the cliché thing is happening.

Like imagine a story having the standard Conan Barbarian -looking ass Proud Warrior Race Guy who never shuts up about how his people are Brave Manly Warriors and somehow every single other of his countrymen that they encounter is exactly like that, including boasting about having two or three wives and 8-12 children waiting for him back home.

Then it turns out that their homeland - that may just be one single city-state - is not at all some Wasteland Of Pillaging And Anarchy, but a very civilised (though distinct) society that is also quite matriarchal. Sure, everything that the Warrior Guy has said about his home is true, but it turns out that the multiple-wife marriages are actually arrangements made between the women, often for political, financial, practical or even romantic reasons. Not everyone's man comes back home from the wars, so women make deals of "if your husband dies, do you want to share mine?" quite a lot. It doesn't even occur to the Warrior Race Guy to make a distinction between which ones of his wives' children are his and which ones were from some previous husband. All of them are his and he'll stab you if you try to argue otherwise.

Like yeah they're still a violent and warlike people whose entire way of life relies on making the world a shittier place for everyone else, but they are shockingly civilised as individuals, and within their own society.

[bionic-egypt]

bad guy: *lowering me into a pit of piranhas*

me: just so you know that pool is not big enough for them at all and they also don't have any foliage to hide within in order to feel safe and by the way you obviously haven't been feeding them enough if they're ready to rend the flesh from my bone, the water looks scummy, and your pulley system looks extremely unsafe and none of your goons are wearing PPE despite the jagged spikes and open leaky pipes and-

bad guy: *frantically lowering the crank faster* please just die

[bionic-egypt]

Been grieving my whole life

[bionic-egypt]

lying in front of the street cleaner