bird-out-of-water

[bird-out-of-water]

on survival

-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits

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I love hearing about the vibes I give off cause I honestly have no idea

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Along the mossy wall

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A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

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god cursed me into seeing this image so im making it everyone elses problem

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Sometimes I have what I call "New Towel Blindness," which is basically where I forget I'm an adult with adult money that I can exchange for goods and services I would like, like say new towels instead of continuing to use my grandparents' hand-me-down towels they gave me when they downsized and I was in college.

And it is definitely one of those things exacerbated by growing up poor and then being a super poor twentysomething, but I think it's something many of us fall into.

Anyway today I bought a bra that doesn't cause my boobs physical pain, a purse in my style instead of continuing to use the poorly sized not-my-style purse I'd been gifted, and joined a gym because I remembered I can just give someone money in exchange for them teaching me how to lift weights instead of thinking "gosh strength training would be good to do as my body ages I wish I knew how."

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Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.

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According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.

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my sincerest wish is that everyone know about the john c. campbell folk school in brasstown north carolina. where you can sign up to take classes taught by folk artists in literally every possible category of folk art. theyve got blacksmithy, traditional beadwork, lacemaking, instrument making, folkloric oral history. you name it, they teach it. literally everyting. its so awesome.

EDIT: you can also take classes online for as low a fee as $10 for a few hours of instruction over video call. they also host an annual folk festival where you can learn the basics for free by going in person <- how i learned to weave

SECOND EDIT: this place is alsp pretty close to cherokee and the ancestral homeland of the cherokee people, so they have a lot of classes and lectures about cherokee folk craft too

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mythbusters is really good at being extremely timeless but occasionally kari wears something that violently reminds me that this show was filmed in the 2000’s.

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it's insane how normalized 3d printing is i don't think people born post 2005 can comprehend how fantastical "appearing things with machines" was as an idea. kind of like cryogenics or VR indistinguishable from being somewhere. like i remember learning about 3d printing about 10 years ago and feeling like it was a little bit sci fi teletransportation magic like it was truly a mind=blown technological moment and now it's just like. do you want to buy this figurine of dawyne the rock johnson as pikachu on etsy

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(girl with adhd voice) yeah i just love in fiction when a character has a superpower thats also a disability. like a power that changes how they interact with the world in exciting ways but also has terrible drawbacks to their daily life. no real reason why

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