birdofmay

[birdofmay]

Sometimes I read something like "Why would you put an "I'm autistic" sign on your child for every stranger to see, and still think you're a good parent?" and am like

"Oh, right, there are autistics who can communicate without help!" 🤔

Like I have this sign so that people know how (not) to approach me. So that they know a normal approach will fail. So that they have a possible explanation why I don't seem to even perceive them at all.

I mean yeah, it would be mean to put a sign like that on autistics who weren't asked for consent, and/or who can communicate well and without help, that would be exposing, and maybe embarrassing for them on top of it.

But autistics like me benefit from a sign like that. I'm never alone, so the person with me could step in and explain how to communicate with me so that I'm not overwhelmed. It's not talking over me, it's like "Hey, don't pet that cat or you'll be scratched", you know? 😄

Unfortunately, many autistics who don't personally know higher support needs autistics immediately think of abusive autism mums. Or they think about how they would have felt if they were forced to wear something that tells everyone they're autistic. And it's understandable that a thought like that makes them uncomfortable, they can self advocate and communicate without help, at least. But please please please don't forget that not everyone has that ability ☝🏼

A sign like that has prevented sooo many meltdowns; think of it as an accessibility tool maybe. Of course a simple "I'm autistic" sign won't tell others how to behave around us, but that's what we have our carers for. The sign is simply a "Hey, step back, wait!"

And this "Hey, step back, wait!" can be a second that prevents my day from being ruined because this brief hesitating was the reason nobody overstepped my boundaries 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not sure how to end this post, I just wanted to mention that because I've just seen that topic again.

[birdofmay]

At least we have laying down

[birdofmay]

*sighs* neither trans nor cis.

5 whole options for people who identify with the trans label.

One option for cis people.

NO option at all for people who identify with both or with neither of it.....

With limited options it's not possible to account for every nuance in identity; please vote for whatever most closely describes you.

–

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[birdofmay]

What’s the temperature from where you are right now?

[birdofmay]

I hate it when polls about gender, the body, etc. only have the options "I'm cis and..." and "I'm trans and...".

I can't participate, I'm a big "I don't know" incarnate. I neither vibe with cis nor do I identify with the trans label. Plus, polls like these often exclude some intersex people and people with more complex gender identities.

[birdofmay]

" cis men DNI " - what about intersex , multigender , and non-binary men who identify as cis and trans simultaneously ?

" well that means not cis " - wrong answer !

[birdofmay]

Remembering I lead a life of extreme privilege (was allowed to drink juice and eat chocolate as a kid)

[birdofmay]

My carer made me coffee instead of tea because we're out of ~my~ tea, and usually I don't drink coffee so.... If I'm about to taste colours soon....

(in the voice of Gabriel in Good Omens 1): "At least we know whose fault it is!"

😂😂

[birdofmay]

i need to get into cars

[birdofmay]

So THAT'S why my nose is running - sudden hay fever! ☝🏼

Everyone is bloomscrolling in my beautiful internet garden

[birdofmay]

I almost slept until 7:45am today - SO proud of myself 🤩

[birdofmay]

Just realised I follow three different nonbinary people named Maia. The nickels keep rolling in.

[birdofmay]

Focusing on it but NOT on how it makes you feel, btw!

Observing this sensory input has to be neutral, otherwise you focus on how much it annoys you and not on the thing itself.

Let's say you wear itchy gloves that make your hands all sweaty. You focus on what the gloves feel like, not the sweat.

Yeah ok, they are itchy, but why? Is there a prickling sensation? Can you feel the prickling on your whole hand? Feel for the prickling on your little finger. Now on your ring finger. Now on your middle finger. And so on. Feel for the prickling on your palm. Your wrist? Is the sensation different if you feel for it on your whole hand instead of just a finger?

Now stop. Oh, what? The prickling is still there but it's not overstimulating anymore? Huh!

I find it really fascinating (and strange) that, to a degree, you can regulate yourself when something is overstimulating you if you just..... focus hard enough on the exact thing that's annoying. That's so counterintuitive and sounds fake af, but if there's just one thing that's sensory hell and otherwise you're fine, it can actually work. And I hate that because it sounds like "Have you tried yoga?", but it's just..... It can help!

For example there's a terrible buzzing noise nobody else hears. I focus on exactly that noise, what it sounds like when it begins, when it ends, if there's a change in pitch or frequency, etc. And while I do that I breathe slowly and deeply.

At some point my brain goes "Yeah, I analysed that noise and actually decided that we can't hear it anymore now. Not dangerous, no need to pay attention to it any longer."

Like, you focus on a single sensory input that's bothering you, and sometimes your brain decides that it's "not worth your attention™" and moves on.

Unfortunately, to actually focus on that thing, you first have to convince the frightened animal in your head that this sensory input isn't evil and dangerous. And it might take a while until it trusts you at all. And there may be setbacks at first.

But if your frightened animal trusts you and you focus on exactly what's bothering you, sometimes your brain just stops giving a fck about it.

[birdofmay]

I find it really fascinating (and strange) that, to a degree, you can regulate yourself when something is overstimulating you if you just..... focus hard enough on the exact thing that's annoying. That's so counterintuitive and sounds fake af, but if there's just one thing that's sensory hell and otherwise you're fine, it can actually work. And I hate that because it sounds like "Have you tried yoga?", but it's just..... It can help!

For example there's a terrible buzzing noise nobody else hears. I focus on exactly that noise, what it sounds like when it begins, when it ends, if there's a change in pitch or frequency, etc. And while I do that I breathe slowly and deeply.

At some point my brain goes "Yeah, I analysed that noise and actually decided that we can't hear it anymore now. Not dangerous, no need to pay attention to it any longer."

Like, you focus on a single sensory input that's bothering you, and sometimes your brain decides that it's "not worth your attention™" and moves on.

Unfortunately, to actually focus on that thing, you first have to convince the frightened animal in your head that this sensory input isn't evil and dangerous. And it might take a while until it trusts you at all. And there may be setbacks at first.

But if your frightened animal trusts you and you focus on exactly what's bothering you, sometimes your brain just stops giving a fck about it.

[birdofmay]

Another day of suddenly being given painkillers for apparently no reason at all, only for 30 minutes later suddenly feeling way better and therefore realising that I must have been in pain the whole morning and..... not having realised it at all. 🤔

Good thing I have very observant carers and parents who studied my behaviour the way you do it with animals to make a good guess about what they feel 😅

[birdofmay]

Dear American mutuals, this is your personal shock that a European mutual appears on your dash again! You may now panic and check the time to see if it's really that late already! 😁

[birdofmay]

If someone has a visible difference (ex. scarring), that DOES NOT AFFECT their ability to perform life tasks at all, but which they ARE discriminated against for, are they physically disabled?

Yes

They're disabled, but not physically

They're not disabled, but they are marginalized

They are neither disabled nor marginalized

No opinion/see results