bishopsorphan

[bishopsorphan]

Legit just woke up from a dream where I sold my soul to make Destiel canon and then hit on Lucifer. WTF?

[bishopsorphan]

So I’m rewriting Hookman

For the Epic Ducifer AU (yes, it is still coming. Illness slowed it down quite a bit, but I’m getting back on track with it out of pure finale spite). And I just wrote this and wanted to share it because I like the little analysis.

So here it is.

Then again, the older man’s faith had always seemed more organic than organized, built through the years by personal experience and beliefs rather than ritual and doctrine. There was something almost refreshing about it when compared to Sam’s, which had a more logical bent. If angels and demons were real, then God and the devil were real. Sam’s religion was studied, learned, maintained through pure stubbornness in opposition to his father’s beliefs or lack thereof. His prayers were carefully worded, consistent, organized. Dean’s were more emotion than anything else, a subconscious yearning that the angel had been slow to pick up on, but now couldn’t bear to tune out. It was pure Dean, all longing and loneliness, and Lucifer could identify with that.

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Wait. How was Sam able to get a house and a job and a family?

Isn’t he legally dead? And a felon? And dead?

[bishopsorphan]

Snapshots from the End of Days (SPN spoilers; Epic Ducifer AU)

“Dean, what the Hell did you do?”

Dean almost dropped his phone from shock. Every number. Every name. Every contact. They’d all gone to voicemail. All of them but Bishop.

---

The vampire sat at the table in the war room, chugging down his second mason jar of blood from the eligible donors that surrounded him. “So, let me get this straight. After Chuck got done destroying every alternate universe out there,” his voice sank as he licked his lips, “he came back. And raptured everyone but us off the planet. Because it makes for a good ending?”

“Yeah,” Gabe said, sitting down on the table beside him. “Sorry. I know how much you wanted to find your guy in some world where he didn’t shank you.��

“Decapitated,” Bishop clarified, showing off the scar that roped around his neck. “And it’s fine. Used to disappointment by now.”

“How’d you even survive?” Sam asked. “I mean, we – Dean, me, Luce, Jack, Cas, Nick, Dagon, Gabe, even Gwen – we’re his final main characters –“

“Gee, thanks, Sam.”

“No, I saw another world, another ending, where he used you to get us to kill each other. He said you weren’t his. He liked you as a character, but you weren’t really his.”

Bishop shrugged. “I’m technically dead twice over, Sam. Off the radar. Maybe he can’t find me.”

“It’s like he’s pulling from everywhere,” Gwen said. “Time travel, alternate universes. Crossovers. It’s not so much a Gospel as it is fanfiction anymore.”

Luce chuckled. “He’s out of ideas. Sam and Dean won’t kill each other. I bailed on the Apocalypse. Nick won’t kill Dean, wouldn’t give in to my evil twin, wouldn’t kill Gwen. We let Jack live. We fucked up his story. There’s nothing left.”

There was a knock at the door. They all turned to look at the sheet of metal, the room falling quiet.

“The last survivors sat together in a bunker,” Bishop intoned. “There was a knock at the door.” He finished off the last of the blood. “Shortest horror story in the book.”

---

It was another one. Another Luce. Another Nick. Another Bishop. Carbon copy.

“Goopy.”

Lucifer smiled, eyes glowing red, and swiped a finger under his nose as it started to leak black. “Guess who the Empty yeeted again?” He sauntered up to Nick. “You have anything to do with that, you sly dog?” He winked.

“You saved my daughter,” Nick said. “But you’re not the Lucifer I’ve been praying to.”

He frowned. “Party pooper. I brought a present, though.” He snapped his fingers and a woman in chains appeared. “It’s the final reaper,” he sing-songed.

---

“Wow, a betrayal,” Luce muttered from his place on the floor. “From evil me, even. Never saw that coming.”

“What do you say, Killer?” Lucifer asked, holding out a gold-plated hammer to Nick. “You and me against the world. Or in charge of it. Remaking it. Just like we planned.”

Nick licked his lips, looking back at his family. Then turned back to the angel he’d said yes to all those years ago. “Where’d you even find this?” He asked, taking the proffered weapon.

The angel smiled. “Went through your stuff. Knew you were the sentimental type.”

“Yeah,” he said. He turned back to the angel that had taken him in, Dean’s Lucifer, the one he’d been meant to kill the hunter to have. He smiled. Nodded. “Yes.”

When he turned back to the traitor, his eyes were red. He swung the hammer, and kept swinging until Chuck’s little mole was heaped in a bloody pile on the ground.

When he turned away from the corpse, his eyes were blue, Luce smiling up at him from his place on the ground. “You know, Nicky, when you suggested smelting down Michael’s sword and using it to coat some weapons just in case, I thought you were just being paranoid, but that was pretty smart.”

Bishop licked his lips, eyes trained on the corpse. “You guys gonna finish that?”

---

And just like that, everything was back to normal. Everyone was back, like they’d never left. Like the world had never stopped.

“You did it, kid,” Gabe said, slapping a hand on Jack’s shoulder. “You actually did it.”

Gwen threw her arms around him in a tight hug. “I knew you could.”

“So, that’s it,” Dean said. “Everything’s right.” His eyes followed the dog they’d found earlier as it trotted across the road.

Jack nodded. “Everything.”

“Bishop?”

It was a new voice, a voice only one of their group had ever heard before.

The vampire turned, his mouth falling open, hands shaking at his sides. “Aidan?”

He’d wanted this. It had been his whole reason behind helping Dean out of Purgatory. Helping Aidan. Saving Aidan. Finding Aidan. But Aidan had been gone. Buried. Lost. Caught up in coups and plagues and then a fire.

He’d searched, but found nothing. No way to fix the problem, not until Dean had reappeared, asked him for help saving a town from spirits from Hell. Not until he’d learned about Nick, about the existence of alternate realities, worlds where Aidan might be alive. Might be waiting for him.

And now here they were, standing in a busy street, staring at each other.

“Jack?” Gabriel asked.

“We talked about it,” the new God explained. “I asked Gabe for help. We were gonna find a way to let you hop between worlds. Because you helped us. And you were sad. But then Chuck destroyed them all.”

Bishop turned to the boy, tears in his eyes. “You…?” A hand touched his shoulder and he whirled back to Aidan.

“I saw,” Aidan said. “I saw what you did. You saved the world.”

“You died human. You got your door.”

“He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t want to be,” Jack explained. “I asked.”

Aidan smiled. “You loved me,” he said. “And I know that now. You… more than anything.”

Bishop smiled back. “Let’s go home.”

---

And they did. They all did.

To Boston.

Bishop and Aidan.

To the bunker.

Dean, Luce, Nick.

Sam and Gabriel.

Castiel and Dagon.

And to a future that only existed because she’d helped save it.

Gwen. Alone in her apartment. Until suddenly she wasn’t.

“Jack?”

He held up his hand in greeting. “Hi.”

“Is something wrong? What are you doing here?”

“I’m everywhere,” he said. “But I realized that the place I really want to be is here. With you.”

She smiled. “I want you to be here, too.”

---

And they lived happily ever after.

[bishopsorphan]

You know who could probably help?

The last guy to go up against Chuck.

Just sayin’.

[bishopsorphan]

When I tell you I SCREAMED.

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I mean, there’s SOMEONE who’s not “perfectly, ANGELICALLY devoted”...

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Picture it:

Lucifer aggressively Junko posing his way through the Apocalypse.

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They had so much sex in that car.

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Mmmmm. Sounds like Cas got himself a bit of that Coronavirus.

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She got killed before Lucifer was freed... before Michael grabbed a vessel.

Who the fuck is writing this shit?

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Is that what’s happening here? We’re a world where it’s just a show so we’re getting cancelled, but instead of an apocalyptic storm it’s a pandemic?

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Sam: So this whole time, you were lying, just to use me as a vessel?

Lucifer: Um, excuse me? NO!

Lucifer: Who helped you protect the Seals?

Lucifer: Who helped you fight the angels AND the demons?

Lucifer: WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO HAVE KINKY BLOOD SEX WITH A DEMON, HMM?

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Dean: Where're the kids?

Nick: Gwen said something about going to Mall of America with Jack.

Dean: The Mall of... why?

Nick: Because they have two Build-A-Bear workshops, Dean. Two. They're going to make matching Baby Yodas and ride a roller coaster. That's what kids do, right? They go to the mall and hang out. We wanted to give Jack a chance to be a kid, who better to show him the ropes than someone his age?

Dean:... do you.... do you think they'll get me a Baby Yoda if I text 'em?

Nick: I'm sure they're stuffing hearts and love into a gang of little green aliens for us all as we speak.

Dean: Cool. Love that little shit.

[bishopsorphan]

Wait a second...

Didn’t Sam always wanna be normal anyway?

[bishopsorphan]

Why is that chubby man wearing Lucifer’s old clothes?

[bishopsorphan]

The boys are finally going to fucking Alaska.

Season 15, thank you.