bitchplsimhermes

[bitchplsimhermes]

"For some smiting in what the mortals call, a bathroom?"

"I do not understand. I use my lightning bolt quite regularly—"

[bitchplsimhermes]

"I betcha Pop's Lightning Bolt has been gathering a lot of dust lately."

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VDAY with the Greeks

Zeus: tries to get laid 23408343 times. succeeds.

Hera: pointedly ignoring the day for a spa trip with the ladies

Ares: brb currently wooing aphroditty over with my biceps

Aphroditty: brb currently being wooed over by Ares's biceps.

Hermes: LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE.

Eros: *shoot people's asses like nobody's business*

Eris: fucking everyone's chocolates up with poison

Hephy: ew. romance.

Hades: *awkwardly gives Persephone chocolate then runs away like the scared kouhai he truly is*

Poseidon: horse sexual next

Pandora: gives everyone boxes. just boxes.

[bitchplsimhermes]

"It's way too much that it's really ridiculous that I have to do this for them every year, Clio. But I'm not going to voice that out loud lest I want Cupid's arrow shoved up what the mortals say 'my godly ass'."

"Yeah, it's nice if I want to get fed to the sharks by Uncle Crabby-pants too. How about a drier place?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Taking in count how much work you are doing."

"The Caribbean is a nice place to go if you want some rest."

[bitchplsimhermes]

"I'm going to need one Hades of a vacation after this holiday."

"Maybe to the Bahamas or Guam. Yeah, Guam."

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yeah..

[bitchplsimhermes]

Hermes despises Valentine's Day because he's so overworked during that time by Aphrodite and Cupid.

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{✍}— Oh what the fuckery how in the 1920s hell did he get here. "Oh heya, Pops. A nice evening we're having, huh?" Sends quick glances to the bartender to get some more drinks to distract the powerful deity before he would smite something or someone.

"Well, I ab-so-lute-ly said that... I love it... when you give me these jobs."  —{✉}

"I’m sorry, Hermes. What was that?"

"Would you care to repeat with my hands around your neck?"

[bitchplsimhermes]

{✍}— Counts the large wad of cash in his hands, while sitting cross-legged at his favorite bar.

"I love it when Pops doesn't notice I already take my tips out from all those deliveries." —{✉}

[bitchplsimhermes]

//outofthief; Do I join the Munday picture sharing or not?

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{✍}— "You got that right, Little Western Wind. Telling the truth is really boring and plain." The messenger God shrugged to himself and snickered slightly.

"While I'm not a god of Chaos, a little mischief isn't bad you know~"

"But I don't suppose you can find out what I mean, can you, Zephyrus? Are you up for a little game~?" —{✉}

While he was aware Hermes was a god of trickery and lies, and he should be wary, he honestly was a bit too curious for his own good. “… Even if I did try to find out, I doubt you’d tell me. Telling the truth isn’t really your game, now is it?”

[bitchplsimhermes]

{✍}— "Then you're just like me then." Hermes yawned and stretched himself; it was clear he was still working hard. "Staying in one place is boring anyways."

"Has there been anything of interest, Zephyrus?" —{✉}

The ping from the mobile device in his hand caught his attention. He had seen the humans use them before and it was curious to him in all sense of the word but he had pretty much kept his distance. It was only when Hermes spoke up again that he rose his head to look at the god.

"It has." The talk of Eros caused him to blink. "Hm… at the moment, no. I’m just going where ever the wind takes me. I haven’t seen Eros in some time."

[bitchplsimhermes]

{✍}— "I said I could be~ I might be really thinking of you as plain too."

"But why don't you find out if it's a lie or not, Zephyrus~?" One can't forget that Hermes is the God of Lies and Tricks. —{✉}

"… Teasing me, you say." Gently rubbing his neck, he cleared his throat most awkwardly. "… What the hell are you getting at Hermes?"

[bitchplsimhermes]

{✍}— "I'm completely sober, little Zephyrus."

"But you know, I could be teasing you~" —{✉}

"You are adorable." [notmyaibias /SHOT]

"Did you get a hold of Dionysus’ wine or something, Hermes?" Though it didn’t cross his mind the god might actually be teasing him or something like that—-