blacktrimmegawattsmile-blog

[blacktrimmegawattsmile-blog]

FEELINGS AT THE BRIDGE

Life is beautiful, I really think so

Humans generally are amazing creatures, but I’m more than that. I’m awesome!

I found happiness in dressing well, wearing a black trim and a megawatt smile

Looking forward to hangout and to sit closer to that girl I liked

Who I was too shy to tell how I felt even though we both knew

Whose invitations to hang out with her, I’ll never ignore

 I started setting alarm every Sunday morning

Hoping to wake up early so I could go to church.

Had to go to church not for the churchiness of it

But for the morals and good habits sunday school classes put in me every seventh day of the week, actually to see her in her pengness and have a chat!

 I go into town more often these days

Taking the route closer to her house whilst refreshing my phone to see if I’ll get that “come over text”

The little things, the little moments, they all aren’t little

Cos I could see the dots connecting

 To be continued……

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SHE KNOWS, BUT WANTS IT

Life if a little bit complicated, It even gets more complicated when pleasure is involved.

Right at the moment she saw him, her heart skipped, and her jaw dropped.

She was amazed by how calm and good looking a guy could be

In less than a minute, she had imagined making her fantasies come through

Her momma always tell her to be cautious of these guys who spent hours in the gym, are good looking, wearing a megawatt smile and a black trim

Her mom’s old but always say to her “Not many guys work out for six packs just to be with one girl, be careful”

Truth is, she is always a moms girl in front of mom. But deep down, she has so many fantasies she’s dying to fulfill.

The world is a shitty place, human needs are never satisfied, trends keep shifting and people are always playing catch up.

Her friends have been broken, warned her to be careful and even stated he’s a player, but she never pays much attention to her friends.

All she really wanted was to experiences the thrill. Players aren’t bad for these college and uni girls. These girls only hate and stay away from boring guys. 

So she invited him for dinner at the school garden. 

After dinner, let me walk you home he said. After walking her home.... the weather is cold, come in for a few drinks she said. 

A few drinks, and its game on. Sounds from the bedroom were like a Michael Dapaah hit track, skraa pap pap pap pap pap! 

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SNUGGLED BUT NOT CUDDLED

In the middle of a beautiful night

With all the stars shining bright and setting right

I lay on my bed, reminiscing, missing the beautiful moments we’ve had

Every moment always feels like it’s the whole world I’ve gained

I was craving being with her and spending those quality time again

All of a sudden my phone beeped, it was a message from her

She’s home alone in her bed, snuggled but not cuddled

She needed that comfy after-sex cuddles

I didn’t waste any second after seeing her message

I jumped over a bundle of huddle just to make sure she gets it and gets the cuddle

When I arrived at hers, even with her makeup off that night

Everything about her was just so right

She brightens up the room like she’s a light

And in that moment, everything was just alright

I stared at her in awe and she asked me

Is everything alright? How did your day go?

And I said to her

It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to tell you how my day went

I’m going to show you how the night will go : D

 -Patrick Isaiah

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NO TITLE COS I’M REALLY REALLY SORRY

“Don’t leave me in this pain” she said

“It hurts so bad” again she said, but I left her in the rain

As quick as I could, I walked out of her life

I didn’t look back and it cut her like a knife

I knew I was going to do this all this while

I never cared if it would turn bitter like bile

 I made her smile just to take it away

I made her happy just to make her sad while I sway

To me, it’s fun, breaking hearts and seeing kneelings

Because, I’ve got to the point of no feelings

She still remembers the day we met, I don’t

She remembers the words said and promises made, I don’t

I’m a product of a shattered heart and cracked nerve endings

 I only pray one day you find a happy ending

I’m cute, oh yes I am, but I have a problem

I can’t love you the way you want and it’s now my emblem

“I can’t unbreak your heart because mine is still broken”

I said to her as in tears she was soaking

I feel sad because she’s more innocent than I ever was or I am

So don’t say you love me until you’ve known who I am.

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TOUCHED, BUT JUST A LIL BIT

What would you do if you were in my position Would you move on go and find someone new It really hurts, don't know how you feel Look, I woke up next to the baddest bitch I’ve ever seen But even then all I could think of was you and me My friends tell me “Pat homie, just let it be” Unless they've been through it They don’t know what the fuck I mean So please girl tell me what do I do cause I know that nobody’s perfect But I’m perfect for you and girl you’re perfect for me That’s something you couldn’t see I tried to show you but what was the point if you won’t believe Now tell me why did you leave? Do you not love me no more? See I can hide all the pain but what remains is the scars I was the best I could be I know that I have my flaws But I gave all that I had spent more than I could afford I spent five thousand dollars on a ring to call you my misses And you still had the nerve to say I gave no commitment There was no way that I could save you, three years is what I gave you And then you leave me and go find a new man three weeks later My sister thinks you cheated and honestly, I don’t blame her Cos moving on that quick is way too strange of a behavior And I bet that he's happy cos he sees you posting pictures But dawg I bet my life she thinks about me when you’re with her He don’t want you like I want you, He don’t need you like I need you He don’t see you how I see you, He don’t breathe you how I breathe you And you know it, So tell me what the fuck you see in him We both know that you still love me so you shouldn’t be with him You should be with me, Right here in my home, Right here all alone Making love until the morn' You love how I turn you on And one thing that I love and hate the most Is people always change but the memories don’t And lately I can’t even eat, Lately I've been feeling ill When you cannot sleep at night, That’s when you know shit is real You don’t even need a gun, You don’t even need a pill If you ever wanna die Fall in love and you’ll get killed 💣🔫

#pat #ant #hello #pieces #of #hearts #love #breakup #pain #commitment

[blacktrimmegawattsmile-blog]

LOVE EXCHANGE

And sometimes I still blame you, sometimes I still love you

And sometimes I still hate you, sometimes I feel like the woman you've become just ain't you

Or one I can't relate to

Maybe I should just replace you, but that's easier said than done

Even harder when I still think that you are the one

Even harder when I still think you're the only one

And even harder when I thought that you would have my son

Now you just don't give a fuck, you just don't give a damn

Now you got a different life, you got a different man

Guess I didn't mean enough to be a part of your plans

How could you move on that quick?

That's what I can't understand, I wish I could do that too

I wish I was over you

'Cus now every girl I fuck I'm just wishing she was you

I know I should be ashamed lately I ain't the same

Just look at what I became I cannot cope with the pain

I would give back all this cash I would give back all this fame

If I could have one more night Back before everything changed

Back when we were both the same, back when everything was better

'Cus ain't it crazy how forever can turn into never?

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FADES AND GONE

And every single night I'm with a different girl

Who would've known that life could be a lonely world?

I'm reminiscing, missing everything we were

So I could be with you, but I still think of her

It's crazy how we don't even talk

And I still think of you in every place that I walk

In my home, in my city, I guess you left a mark

Ain't it funny how you miss the brightest times when it's dark?

But the love of my life just turned into anonymous

So now you're a stranger that I don't wanna miss

A stranger with all her clothes in my laundry bin

All of her dresses, sweaters, and cardigans

I should throw 'em out, I should just forget it

The past can only hurt you if you let it

But I let it, 'cus I'm still about you

Life is fucking crazy but it's crazier without you

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FINDING HOME

Anytime I think of home, I remember the light blue sky during the day and a sky full of stars at night.

A town full of strong people whose morals were the cornerstones of our very foundation.

We didn’t have everything or come from luxury but had enough to afford a slightly better future.

Lots of family built shops, community buildings and I clearly remember the bakery, yes, the bakery which teased everyone who hadn’t had breakfast at 9 in the morning due to the sweet aroma of the perfectly baked dough.

I remember when my mom used to say I’d be great before I ever knew how strong those words were or the significance of a mother’s blessings.

When I held Aisha’s hand for the first time, it felt like an Onyeka Owenu’s love song. Heart blooming with love, innocent love, clouded with forever.

When my sister had to see me off to school first before going to hers every morning, even though she knew she would get whipped at the gate for being late and then return to get me when the day is over, carrying me on her back for 1/3 of the journey back home because she felt I was too young to hurt my feet or feel the struggles of this life.

When my mom taught me to value women and not ever lay a finger on them no matter how much the girls in Staff school annoyed me.

When returning home from secondary school was always delayed because I often took the longer routes back so I could chat up the Peng girls from the upper or lower grade, didn’t care. Using silly lines like “your hair compliments your face perfectly” even though the girls cut their hair in my high school SMH.

When my dad would take me back to the barber because my cut wasn’t low enough for me not to be seen as a bad kid.

When I didn’t think so much about the future or how I needed to make money, I found happiness in my grades and in the smiling faces of my family members, friends, and neighbors. When my greatest goal was to get an A1 in Physics.

I found happiness in ironing my uniform looking forward to the next school day, next day closer to that girl I liked, who I was too shy to tell how I felt even though we both knew, hoping to look smart to impress her.

When I woke up every Sunday morning to gospel music and my dad half prepared for Sunday service. Had to go to church not for the churchiness of it but for the morals and good habits Sunday school classes put in me every seventh day of the week.

When I had the time of my life, when I made friends I would later cherish forever, when I danced, played football, basketball and wrote poetry for the fun of it. Funny I had the time of my life already and I’m still young and have more time in my life.

Change is constant but it doesn’t only make, it breaks too.

Now the stars that hung in the night skies all fell, they closed the bakery, much more money came and we moved to a new solitary neighborhood where we never saw the neighbors eye to eye and I couldn't feel Aisha’s hands, I could only poke her on Facebook.

Now I’ve lost touch with most things I found happiness in trying to find a new form of happiness in legal tender. Reality displayed on a 3D screen and I’m watching without glasses on.

Now I’m far, far away, where morals have no place in the society and everyone chooses what’s moral to them. Where the color of my skin alone is enough reason for the seat next to me on both sides to be vacant on the city shuttle.

Where Eguisi and pounded yam is seen as too weird to be packed lunch and wearing my native attire is seen as inappropriate for occasions by the same people.  Where I learnt to memorize rap songs but my local dialect faded from my tongue and conversations on the phone with mum went left whenever we switched from English to Ikwerre.

Now I’ve lost contacts with friends, I guess reality happened to us all. Hoping to relive those memories but they are only just littered all over the walls of my heart.

Now I’ve lost touch with family, although I feel I’m trying to be perfect enough or boxed up enough for them. I’ve got no reason for not checking my Nan, and if she dies I’m going to prick myself because all she really wants is a phone call but the phone has been too heavy for me to put it up to my ear but light enough to go on social media or chat up the peng tings in Uni.

Now I’m way too comfortable in my comfort zone, thinking of only myself, lost in the sauce called “I’m doing me”, but then again, we all are.

Now life is great, living in a developed society but I’ll give anything to have those memories back or relive them. But, the thought of returning home feels like an anchor being dragged across the whites of my eyeballs because everything has changed, but not for the better.

Anytime I think of home, I remember the light blue sky during the day and a sky full of stars at night.

A town full of strong people whose morals were the cornerstones of our very foundation.

Anytime I think of home, I remember a boy who for one second never thought he would lose the feeling of what home felt like while trying to make a new home for himself.

                                                                                 -RI

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This definitely isn’t goodbye

Time flies, bridges burn, we live, we love we learn

Now it’s all space between us and the time it takes to close the gap takes too long to earn

You don’t know what you have till you lose it,

So hop on my back and like bounty hunters we gather all the treasures in these moments.

Even though I met you when I was ** years old, I loved you cus you had so much soul without even knowing it.

Now these late-night starring contests got me through the windows of your beautiful soul without even knowing it.

Reaching further, opening Pandora’s box, hoping chaos never finds us.

But who are we to know what’s next, so like that little kid on the streets of Poland in the 1500’s we can only try to predict and hope we are right.

Mum said if you care for her then calm your nerves, arteries and pulmonary muscles so these rushes of blood to your love organ will be oxygenated.

Dad said i had to sit back, calculate the trajectory of my love for her and fix the mechanism of my heart to always put her on speed dial when she gets missing in my algorithms.

Brother said, bro there are many fishes in the sea but if she’s your fish then I guess you’ve got to get an aquarium now, just for her.

Sister said, love God with all your heart son but if you love her the way you feel then wrap your heart with these bandages of her aura.

And my heart says, if you love her that much you should get on that plane to follow your dreams.

Ironically she’s is all in my dreams and all I see in these short trances I get in these late night short naps.

Happiness taken too far, from these slow kisses to the tight cuddles in these short naps.

So I’ll save me the long talks, and soliloquies with my heart, which is obviously drunken in love.

You have reached the edges of this vast place in space and time and have tipped me off

And I’m falling deep in these black holes of your partly mended heart.

With you I’m reaching for the stars so even if i fall ill land on the clouds and ill be carried away like a tempest to your sea of flowing streams of love.

You know i worry alot about the other dudes who try to hit you up, and i get mad jealous and i remember the saying “if she only wants you, dont worry about who wants her” and then i find peace.

Explaining how beautiful you are would take a sonnet or two to piece together, and if i did anything right in life it’s loving you with all of my heart.

As sad sad as it may seem, right now all i can give you is now but i can promise you forever and i always strive to keep to my promises

And as long as hate knows love is the cure u can rest your mind cus I’ll be loving you till the rainbow burns the stars out in the sky,untill the oceans cover every mountain high,untill the dolphins fly and parrots live at sea and until we dream of life and life becomes a dream.

Love hurts and often burns but these are pains we must feel in order to not feel separation from the one your heart truly yearns for.

Still yet it’ll be emptiness and hollow in my soul and stomach, tears from my eyes anytime i reminisce until I run into your arms again with all the enthusiasm and the brightest smile in the world.

Goodbye is the saddest thing I’ll ever have to tell you ever, but this isn’t goodbye

So each day that goes by I pray to the God in heaven to take the clouds of sadness from up over me so it never rains goodbyes on us.

                                                              -RI

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THESE DAYS ARE WASTED

I miss the days ...

when I was young and got all I wanted

When all I pondered, no one wondered

Cos all this new shit got me shattered

I’ve lost the courage I thought I mustered

I’ve made enemies, friends have parted

Love was here, guess what? hatred is here

It's hard to care, cos these days are wasted

These hard days are impossible to forget

The world in hand and a dream about to be unraveled

A family team watching and expecting

I just keep wondering

trynna discover a legit way to actualize my dream

They say a man doesn't choose his father

Yet he gets live to make the old man proud

With money, wine and a fit woman

That’s the assurance for a better later

For when death comes, life don't linger

It's a constant displacement reaction

He’ll look through the years as though they were numbers 

and wish he had lived the numbers better

with prayers that his son does wiser

His lips will move in dying whisper

As he drifts to the abyss

You may call it misery, or miserable numbers

Or years spent with regrets and left over, but guess what,

You can actually do better,

You don't have to learn from your mistakes

Try to learn from that of others

The goal is yours, the dream you had

The ambition you’ve set. Increase its momentum.

                                                         -PI