blade-of-khaos

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The most beautiful I can vouch dw dw it's for the best jey don't worry

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i love you vaccines i love you research i love you reading the book instead of having chatgpt summarize it i love you critically thinking rather than reacting to a headline i love you investigating the source material i love you science i love you math even though you are personally my enemy (math/yn slowburn) i love you writing even though you try to stab me a lot i love you Experts in Your Field i love you Using The Brain

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Oom coworkers asked me today if I could bring back one person from the dead to fuck them who would I pick and I thought on it a bit and then said "Bob Saget but only if he bottoms" and I made everyone laugh and it was pretty cool

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Don't mix weed and benadryl :[ bad vibes

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Sober almost 6 years off oxy, particularly missing it today. Took a benadryl, might take another later idk. Wish me luck at work 👍

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man i knew i stopped using tiktok for a reason :/ im getting videos of people hating the southern US again (and ive been regretfully trying to explain to them why its wrong to devalue us)

i understand that with the current political climate, its very easy to turn to the red states and place the blame on them and i UNDERSTAND the criticism of the south. but to "and also" this sentiment, theres so much harm in devaluing the south and the people in it. how many times do we have to say that we aren't all just conservative MAGA rednecks? everyone wants to kick down southern and dont realize that there is so much value down here too. i live in the coastal south and ive learned to love the art and music and culture in my home state. yes, i care about this place because this is where i get to see my favorite local bands at the bar i love and go to museums and talk to ARTISTS and found my love for philosophy and met some of my favorite people- i care about my little home in the south because there is value and i'm sorry but it's hurtful to constantly be reminded that i will never be taken seriously anywhere else.

i think about how, especially right now, education in the south is taken as a joke and how our universities are slowly getting rid of humanities, sciences, and literacy programs. i have a close friend who teaches in our uni's mathematics department and she is constantly fighting to keep the department funded and alive. my professor and advisor is doing all she can with her colleague to make philosophy a separate program from humanities and offer masters/phd courses again. all of this to little change.

so many people want to look at the south and go "if you hate the laws, if you hate the lack of education, etc. why don't you change it?" yall we are TRYING.

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Plot twist of the damn century incoming, i had to take a few days to process the new info before screaming into the void about it- and for this plot twist to make any sense need context, much more than I'm willing to give right now. But what I can say is, looooong history with the friend but always as metamors, my understanding has been we were manipulated into hating eachother because once I left the connecting relationship and spoke to them more directly than through my ex, we got on pretty well n thought we were friends, i admittedly don't have alot of friends, even innerworld. But they told me they had also broken up with them, but hadn't gone no contact for personal reasons, which was okay w me but they told me that they were not involved at all and the ex was just lying making posts about still dating. Right so then boom pregnancy scare, they reached out, asked for help, I got SUPER serious about it and practically begged them to move to Washington on my dime because they've spoken at length with me about not having a support system AT ALL, n I won't even lie I do fr have a savior complex and I'm always about "rising to the occasion" in whatever will give me the best bragging rights/make me look the best to others, but on the same damn side of that coin is the fact this is someone I cared about and wanted to help have the life they told me they wanted. Anyway. I did some sleuthing because paranoia is a fucking SOAB, and I found their Pinterest account, with a *Recent* board created called Apartment 202 and guess who's co creator? The ex. With recent shit, first name and last names no mistaking it. Gut wrenching. And then juuust barely 2 weeks after telling me they were pregnant. They weren't anymore, for suspicious reasons but I might just be triggered and casting doubt on everything - but then, if it is a master plan to betray me and manipulate me or whatever that's exactly what they'd want me to think 🤨

Anyway- I've basically soft blocked them because I'm horrified that it wasn't even them who was texting me but the ex with their account or something. And even if that's not the case I don't think I can stop being scared of that, and it isn't right for me to ask them to ignore their personal ties. I'm just so hurt and tired. And its 6pm and ive eaten nothing, gone nowhere, smoked so much weed and played minecraft literally all day. I woke up at 11:45am today. I haven't even gone to the damne bathroom, and Roy in full front isn't helping. I'm down to the wire on friends- so universe! Send me my next extravert!

Man's is such a damn good snuggler holy smokes that guy held me ALL NIGHT! barely moved 🥰 but one of my friends told me that they're pregnant and pretty sure it's twins so 🤯 the likelihood of them moving in eith us and the 3 of us raising those babies together as a group isn't improbable what the hell is my life I'm really just out here living a movie

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Infighting only helps our oppressors.

Infighting only helps our oppressors.

Infighting only helps our oppressors.

Infighting only helps our oppressors.

Infighting only helps our oppressors.

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Well, my roommate just got a job at the same place i work at so this is gonna be quite interesting

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Monday!!!!

NIGHT!!!!

RAW!!!!

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Man's is such a damn good snuggler holy smokes that guy held me ALL NIGHT! barely moved 🥰 but one of my friends told me that they're pregnant and pretty sure it's twins so 🤯 the likelihood of them moving in eith us and the 3 of us raising those babies together as a group isn't improbable what the hell is my life I'm really just out here living a movie

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Guys we are going go the library :]

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Doomed lovers/villian vibes I'm not even afraid to admit that

The Seth Rollins character is so sad because he sold out and betrayed his brothers to be the top guy, only to never really be the top guy. Yeah, he held the top titles but I can argue he was never really the top guy because there was always someone more popular. I think at his peak he was #2 behind Roman (this is focusing on the men. If we include the women, I think he could drop another spot or two) and now that CM Punk and Cena are back, he’s dropped even lower. I think that’s why he hates CM Punk because Punk (whether you like it or not) has always done it his way and maintained top status while Seth is this “company man” but hasn’t gain a level of success quite like Punk. I think this is his punishment for the original sin of betraying Roman and Dean.

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I fell asleep alone and woke up with my boyfriend holding me, after everything it was nice I didn't even care that he stunk like a trucker. I ended up getting scheduled for work when I was supposed to be off so I'm waiting to clock in now but it's the Mormon manager working today so she will let me go early if I ask nicely enough haha and then I have to hit the library after my shift to drop off shadow and bone since I'm gonna finish it on my break. Anyway, happy Sunday! Tomorrow is Monday and you know what that means!!

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Ex roommate just left, I feel like I'm going to puke, they left their bed and their chairs like all of their kitchen stuff the brand new dehumidifier they just bought a few weeks ago same with a coffee maker, and a skateboard and a litter box all of their kandi supplies a bunch of blankets and sheets and a weighted blanket. It's like walking through a haunted house. Posters we made eachother plastered with the promises of I love yous, gracious thank yous for braving the world together and defining lives of our own, pictures on the fridge from when the teens took front and hiked over an hour into the woods, shoes they just triumphantly bought a few weeks ago sit on the shoe rack I was so excited to buy with them for this space. And in a few hours my boyfriend will be here to rewrite every tainted piece of this space. I've always been able to run and start new somewhere else, it's strange to be stuck and made to figure it out, I needed this I think, but I really wanted to run. I would've gone to Texas, met my boyfriend halfway and convinced him to come with me to live near my family. Maybe it's the universe, maybe our matron, but I think we belong in this state. The more we get knocked around and dragged about and the more we run and claw it's always here that we end up. I think im going to throw up I fr

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This day has gone on disastrously long, it's only 4pm and I feel like it's been years since my last post, roommate is getting picked up "this evening" as vague as a time frame that is it's what I got, and boyfriends ETA is 1am, they might not even cross paths 🤯 I've been crocheting loads and I've just got two chapters left of shadow and bone, my cat doobie has been so clingy lately he comes outside and sits on the porch eith me when I'm smoking and he just naps next to me, I love this guy so much