I have many pseudonyms. He/him, it/its. Follower of Nephthys. Gemini. Cat boy. Further info available on request. Mostly nature, aesthetic, and art reblogs, but some tags you may want to block include body horror, eye horror, unreality, trypophobia, worms, bugs, insects, gore, and guro. I do forget to tag pretty often though, so if any of those are particularly harmful to you, you may want to consider not following me or sending me an ask so I know to be careful. Sorry. (terfs nazis etc dni)
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nothing is better than finding a walking stick
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i've been quiet for a while here, and by quiet i mean near nonexistent, and by a while i mean for months. this is because i got a new job. it's full time. full time jobs drain me like nothing else, because that whole 8-8-8 system thats supposed to keep you happy and healthy doesn't work when you spend so much time just generally being mentally ill, so instead of 8 hours work and 8 hours sleep and 8 hours play, i get 10 hours work 2 hours commute 2 hours self-maintenance 4 hours being mentally unwell 1 hour fun and 5 hours sleep. speaking of being mentally unwell. dont read the tags.
#honestly i dont want to tell anyone this but i also feel the need to put it somewhere it can be read#so. you know. tumblr.#and i know what's causing it- its just a hormone+chemical imbalance fucking with me#these emotions are not real#they are not grounded in reality#however that being said im like. vaguely suicidal.#more than passive less than active? idk what i am#normally my suicidal ideation is like 'i want to decay in a hole somewhere'#but right now its more like 'if there was a train headed my way i dont know if i would even try to get out of the way'#which is. not great. like im not gonna seek out those situations and i wouldnt do anything with a risk of causing harm to others but.......#ehhhhhh#i know ill be able to hold out till my brain balances again but these next couple days are gonna suck ass#and the fact the causing harm includes emotional harm and the fact that theres few if any ways to die without causing emotional harm is#well. not good exactly. but helpful?#anywho i highkey want to die and based on my usual pattern i'm barely touching the surface of my well-travelled lows#🙃#vent post
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but you can't keep holding on like this.
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I'm not an expert, I know nothing about ornithology or biology or zoology or wildlife science or animal behaviours or animal intelligence, but sometimes I think about the fact that birdwatchers in Toronto observed a raven learn how to mimic crow calls, make a nest with a crow and raise a pair of crow-raven hybrids the birdwatchers referred to as cravens and I just think. That's gotta be love, baby.
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see i think what people get caught up in is going "oh this and that are fetish art......hey did you know x thing is a fetish...pretty crazy right.....this piece of art is actually a fetish for the artist........" and like. see the problem is thinking that devalues the art. i don't think something being a fetish or sexual in nature or whatever actually detracts from any meaning or emotional weight something could have. i don't think "horny" is a worthless or meaningless emotion and i don't see why exploring it in art is any different from "sadness" or "happiness" or "anger". does that make sense? im just sayin we should examine why we view sexuality as inherently detracting/meaning less in art than other things
#true true true like i'm ace- extremely ace#i am real fucking uncomfy around most sexual shit!!!#but that's a me thing!! it's a way i deal with and interact with the world!! if i were just as uncomfy with- idk- fucking pineapples#i wouldn't think portraying pineapple was suddenly morally wrong to show freely!! it is about me!!#not art or censorship or control or morality!! me!!!! i am in charge of avoiding the things i know i dislike!!
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Evgeny Sedukhin - “Symphony of the sixth blast furnace” (1979)
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cuckoo
#i spent a while away from tumblr and now i'm on for like 2 hours and ive seen like 5 paintings and 3 poems that have effected me deeply#this is like speaking to my soul i feel it in my bones there is something hiding in the back of my throat and it's me#it is beautiful and i love it and it both calms me and disturbs me in equal measure#oh you know what this feeling is#being Known
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So what this paint company does is take iron pollution from abandoned mines that are polluting soils and rivers and makes iron based red pigment paints out of it.
Basically they realized hey no one's cleaning this shit up, it's polluting the streams, killing all the fish, making the water undrinkable and there's a huge market for it so why not make money by cleaning it the fuck up?
They remove this stuff by the industrial bucket load from the rivers. The idea is if it's in a painting, if it's in your home, it's not poisoning wildlife.
anyway its cool as shit, please support tf out of these people https://gamblinstore.com/reclaimed-earth-colors-set/
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#hmm. ever have a memory suddenly brought to the forefront you hadn't thought about since you gained *context* and now your just like... hm.#that was. not normal.#anyway when i was a kid- like 8ish- i would fill the bathtub and push myself down and pretend i was drowning.#specifically i imagined a deep warm natural pool that was so deep the sun couldnt reach the bottom#i would envision myself falling slowly and gently as the light faded into the deepest darkness#its totally normal and definitively *not* my suicidal ideation presenting way earlier than i had thought it did.
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Gustave Caillebotte, The Floor Planers, 1875
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"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.
"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"
"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."
"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."
"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.
"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."
"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."
"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.
"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.
"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."
"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."
"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."
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🌿🦷🦌🦷🌿
(image description in alt text)
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Y’all in the American SW and west Mexico better check the national hurricane center and your weather for this weekend and next week.
Hurricane Hilary is about to make landfall and that whole desert area is supposed to get a years worth of rain or more. Death Valley is supposed to get twice the annual rainfall. Severe winds, massive flooding, and landslides are all strong possibilities.
This is gonna get ugly. Please spread the word. This is a majorly anomalous event and people may be unaware of the threat headed their way.
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The Deer Who Dreamed Itself - watercolor
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