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blastoff88 · 6 years
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peter: wow i can’t believe i’m back
tony: just keep a low profile for a little while so your mental health can have some time to recover.
[ on twitter ]
peter: my experience in the soul world, a thread ✨
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Peter on his first mission
Tony: Underoos, what’s your status?
Peter: single
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Incorrect Marvel Quotes
Peter: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would be excited just to have a bunk bed.
Tony: …
Pepper: …
Tony: I’m gonna tell him.
Pepper: Don’t you dare!
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Peter:Always stay positive!
Peter: [Falls down stairs]
Peter: Wow i sure got down those stairs quick!
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Peter Parker: English is weird. “You ain’t shit” and “You are shit” are both insults.
Shuri: But, “You are the shit” is a compliment.
Tony: It’s three in the morning, kids. Just go to sleep.
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Wade: I’m giving kids rotisserie chickens for Halloween
2 hours later
Peter: [crying]
Tony: Who the fuck gave my son a rotisserie chicken for halloween
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blastoff88 · 6 years
Photo
Tumblr media
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Peter Parker, a Gen Z kid, screws up: Fuck, guess I’ll kill myself.
Steve Rogers, an artist during the 30’s and a soldier during WWII who knows full well what Dadaism and fatalistic humor are: There’s bleach under the sink–
Bucky Barnes, the guy who listened to Steve’s art rants in the 30’s, watched his back in WWII and went through 70+ years of shit: –And a rope in the supply closet if you want options.
Rest of the Avengers: ?????!!!!!!!?????
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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thanos: i am going to make your lives a living hell!
loki: jokes on you my life already is a living hell
Thor:
tony:
strange:
natasha:
steve:
bucky:
sam:
t'challa:
Wanda:
vision:
peter parker, a gen z kid: (finger guns) you and me both buddy
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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PETER PARKER IS GEN Z
Don’t take him from us, we have so little
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Okay but
*the plan goes to shit*
Peter: That’s so sad, FRIDAY play Despacito
Tony: Peter- Peter what??? Play what??
-
Peter: You know who’s cute?? The girl reading this
Tony: This is a verbal conversation, and our topic is on whether or not you’re still considered an Avenger.
-
Tony: Wow so there are multiuniverses and you have the power to see and travel through them??
Stephen S: Yup do you know what that means? I-
Peter: It’s free realestate *turns head and smirks into the distance*
Tony:
Stephan S:
-
Peter: Hey Doctor Dad what day is it??
Tony: no
Stephan S: Uh? Its Wed-
Tony: Dont
Peter: ITS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES
Tony: S T O P
Peter: WuAHuaaahhhAHH
-
Peter: Hey Iron Dad? Ya know how like 8 Spiders allegedly crawl into your mouth while you sleep everyyear?? Is that considered cannabalism for me? Am I eating my family??
Tony *close to tears and voice cracking* : Peter please just go to sleep and stop calling me, you have school tomorrow.
-
Peter: Hey Irondad? You ever notice that Doctor Dad in a tux looks like spongebob in that one epsiode where he had to take Pearl to the dance in the long legged suit??
Tony: I’m so glad I adpopted you
-
*talking to MJ and Ned*
Peter: So I learned something today; * singing voice* January Febuary, March, April, May , June, JASON Derulo
MJ, Ned, and Peter: *burst out laughing*
Tony the concerned adult ™: I… - What-??? Huh???
-
*Peter during the fight on Titan*
Peter: *points to Tony and Dr Stange fighting Thanos *
Peter: Those are my last three brain cells fighting over which Cars movie is the best.
P. Quill: You are a strange child.
-
Peter: I hate when people are like, “But you’re Spiderman! You can’t be afraid of spiders!” Like sweetie,,,, you’re afraid of snakes,,, but there you are acting like one
Tony:
Tony: did Steve say that to you?
Peter: … maybe
Tony: *highfives him* goodjob kid
-
I JUST LOVE THE GEN Z PETER PARKER WITH HIS CONCERNED IRON DAD
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Headcannon that photography-loving Gen Z Peter Parker has an aesthetic photography Instagram page in a dual sponsorship with the latest Stark Phones and their high quality cameras
Bonus points if somebody at school finds out that Peter is the photographer behind the account and suddenly everybody is trying to figure out how the quiet High Schooler with rips in his jeans is somehow sporting the latest thousand dollar Stark Phone
Extra Bonus Points if half of his pictures were taken while on patrol so now everybody at Midtown High is determined to discover how the fuck Parker keeps getting pictures on top of the fucking Avengers Tower what the fuck
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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important consideration: who’s keeping peter parker’s snapstreaks while he’s away in space?
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blastoff88 · 6 years
Video
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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gen x: depression isnt real sweaty :) go on a diet and grow up
millenials: i mean mental health is important yeah we should all be educated
gen z: *riding in on a skateboard* whats up fuckers im here im queer im ready to die
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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Peter Parker, also known as the popular superhero ‘Spiderman’, is roughly 16-17 years old, meaning he was born in either 2001 or 2002. Contrary to popular belief, this place him firmly in the ‘Gen Z’ category, rather than the millennial category that many place him in. By extrapolating this information, we can conclude that Peter Parker not only knows what a furry is, but constantly has to grapple with the fact that his spider-centric identity is, in fact, his fursona. In this essay I will-
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blastoff88 · 6 years
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I, kid gen Z, feel connected to Peter, Shuri and Ned in a cosmic level.
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