blcsscdson

[blcsscdson]

✎ . . . 𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑬 𝑨 𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑹.

₊˚⊹ a collection of loose poem verses, quotes or lyrics from various books and chansons. most were written originally in portuguese or french, and were translated to english by me. some are extracted from personal poems, as well! they all have some type of religious reference/motif. writing/roleplaying prompts. from fluff to angst and suggestive! feel free to edit as you see fit.

❝ i never felt more alive than when you called me your angel. ❞ ❝ saints above help me… don’t look at me like that. ❞ ❝ admit it, you’d have taken a bite out of eden, too. ❞ ❝ what are you waiting for? pray. ❞ ❝ confess. repent. repeat. ❞ ❝ for you? i will be any believer you want me to be. ❞ ❝ run away with me, where no gods can find us. ❞ ❝ i begged for a miracle. instead, i got you. ❞ ❝ you smell like the devil. ❞ ❝ where is your faith now? ❞ ❝ call me a sinner. ❞ ❝ the way you call my name sounds like heresy. ❞ ❝ in your gaze, i find my prayers answered. ❞ ❝ your lips are scriptures i long to memorise. ❞ ❝ even silence feels sanctified like this. ❞ ❝ when you embraced me, i felt like i was cradled by divinity. ❞ ❝ i do not wish for the stars to hear us now. ❞ ❝ meet me at our shared altar, where our ghosts can dance. ❞ ❝ kiss my hand. make me feel holy. ❞ ❝ your love feels like a fallen angel’s curse. ❞ ❝ please, can’t you be my sanctuary tonight? ❞ ❝ should i kneel and beg you to look at me again? as if you’re a saint? ❞ ❝ worship does not come cheap. ❞ ❝ must i pay for my sins? cry for forgiveness? ❞ ❝ hate me, blame me, crucify me; just please don’t walk away. ❞ ❝ i do not know how else to love you if not like a sinner. ❞ ❝ you were my redemption; now you are my ruin. ❞ ❝ the weight of your absence is my penance to bear. ❞ ❝ i built cathedrals of dreams, and you razed them to dust. ❞ ❝ you’re a hymn that haunts my mind at midnight. ❞ ❝ you left me bleeding for you, devoted—abandoned. ❞ ❝ i prayed to forget you, but even the heavens refused. ❞ ❝ do not tempt me with your promises. ❞ ❝ hellfire has nothing to your touch. ❞

[blcsscdson]

He was talking ‘fore I knew it and as he grew he’d say, ‘I’m gonna to be like you dad. Y’know, I’m gonna be like you.

[blcsscdson]

“ eventually, you just get used to it. “

a collection of my own writings … sentence starters // Accepting

Well, wasn't that a cheery thought. Jack didn't want to get used to that. To all the death and loss that life entailed. He'd already lost his family, he wasn't in the market for more death if he could help it. Still, he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. He wasn't expecting this kind of comment from the smuggler, or was it former smuggler? Jack didn't know. The Gunslinger puts his hands on his belt and shrugs.

"Mister, I ain't sure I wanna get used to that. If it were up to me, I wouldn't be killin' so many fools left and right. But they just keep comin', so I guess I gotta keep shootin' until they stop." He'd made a quick stop in Jackson, he needed to rest and make sure his horse got some rest as well. Dilapidated gas stations and motels didn't really make for good rest stops, especially to an animal like a horse. "Y'know where I can leave my horse? Just need a night's rest and I'll be on my way. Don't wanna impose or nothin'."

[blcsscdson]

@giraffeiisms || Cont. HERE

The young man raised his hands in a surrendering fashion. While he could undoubtedly shoot the smaller knife from her hand, he'd rather not do it. It wasn't a great way to introduce himself and it'd leave a nasty bruise on her hand, which he wanted to avoid. On his hip sat his father's old Single Action Army, he'd been practicing with that thing enough to confidently say he could shoot anyone and anything that he could see.

Still, he couldn't help but chuckle at her attitude. It'd definitely help her with regular, old and dumb hunters but he wasn't like 'em. "Alright, alright. Tell you what, you don't try to stab me and I try an' help you. How's that sound? Promise my gun'll stay in its holster, nice and snug, won't move an inch." He was honest, well, as honest as anyone in this world could be. But his offer to help was genuine. Jack's always been one to help out.

"No miss, I ain't sellin' nothin'. Just passin' through, saw you fall from your horse. Runner spooked it, didn't it? I could try an' find it, I'm good with horses. Got my own just a lil' down the road. They make for great company and way to travel." He offered her a small smile, a reassurance that he wouldn't hurt her.

[blcsscdson]

'That was your life'... A life he could barely remember. He's got scattered memories, echoes of the past here and there and a chest full of mementos he can't quite put his finger on who they belonged to. Still, he sighs, it's a both a shame and a blessing she was not around for the chaos that was 1899, he had a feeling she would have joined their Pa and their uncles when the Braithwaites took him to Saint Denis if she had the chance. "We don't really talk about Uncle Dutch, Gale. He was a sore subject for Ma and Pa... Hell, Pa barely talked about Uncle Arthur and Uncle Hosea, and that's sayin' somethin'." He missed them so much, the two men who cared for him, who taught him to read, to write, to fish. They would've loved Gale.

"Gale, I barely knew 'em. I was a child when all that happened and I can't even remember most things. All I know is from Uncle Arthur's journal, well, also Pa's journal, he took to writing in it when we moved back here." He explained with a sigh. Oh he'd read through the journal, he'd been planning to write a book, something quite special, he just needed to actually commit to it. He has rough drafts back at Beecher's. "You did more than survive 'em legends, you're livin' your life, not like me who's stuck in the past..."

Silence settles between them until Jack speaks again, "I've been wantin' to write a book y'know? Spit one more time on Ross' legacy and put the truth to paper, the truth about our family. Though I ain't gonna call it somethin' insensitive. I could use a fresh pair of eyes if you'd like to read what I got? Been using that old Journal as reference and what Ma and Pa told me over the years."

-- @blcsscdson liked for a starter .

" my gosh . . . you still look awful , " gale muttered , exhaling a stream of smoke as she studied her older brother . the cigarette dangled lazily between her fingers , its glowing tip briefly lighting up the growing dusk .

she never could help being a little harsh with him . maybe it was habit . maybe it was the only way she knew how to show she cared . either way ;

she took another drag , narrowed her eyes , and added , " what happened to you all these years ? "

[blcsscdson]

a collection of my own writings … sentence starters a warning for dark themes and profanity

“ i still have the scars. “

“ you will not hurt me, again. “

“ and, despite it all, i survived. “

“ my innocence died with them. “

“ please, give me a reason to stay. “

“ eventually, you just get used to it. “

“ even hell would spit me back out. “

“ you’re still a fighter, right? prove it. “

“ remorse has no place in my heart. “

“ i’m sorry. i never meant to change. “

“ strike me again and you will learn… “

“ i am stronger than this. i have to be. “

“ ——– but, you said that you loved me? “

“ you point and laugh as i crack and break. “

“ is there anything left in your shallow heart? “

“ i know there’s no fixing me, i’m too far gone. “

“ how did your gentle heart become so jaded? “

“ don’t cry for me, now. don’t you dare. not you. “

“ you’ve been fighting too hard for too long, now. “

“ my halo keeps slipping down. it’s choking me, now. “

“ their lives aren’t worthless. they’re just… worth less. “

“ your touch does not need to be soft. i will not break. “

“ i’ve paid for my sins. now, i come to collect for yours. “

“ your hands looked like safety… until they turned to fists. “

“ i was too young. i didn’t know. i tried. i did try. i am sorry. “ 

“ there is nothing beautiful about the way i’ve been broken. “

“ but moving on means letting you go, and i’m not ready, yet. “

“ spit out the blood and keep going. be strong. they still need you. “

“ someday, i’ll be strong enough, brave enough… not today, not yet. “

” poor little lamb, so lost and afraid… bleating for help that never came. “

“ you threaten to throw me to the wolves? do it. i’ll be in better company there. “

“ in all these years, your arms are the only place that have ever felt like a home. “

“ as the flames rise, i will laugh while you choke on the ashes of all your mistakes. “

“ you were iron and i was glass. how easy it must have been to shatter me at your feet. “

“ the worst part is when i can look someone in the eye and say ‘ it’s okay, i’m used to it’. “

“ ‘ where’s your conscience? where’s your heart? ‘  they’re six feet under, dead and gone. “

“ come back to bed, my dear. you’ve woven these sheets with webs of lies… now sleep in it. “

“ i don’t know which is worse: remembering everything you did to me, or knowing that you don’t. “

“ you are whole galaxies encased behind patient smiles and a gentle heart, beautiful and infinite. “

“ you are a thunderstorm. fierce. intense. powerful. dangerous. and I wouldn’t want you any other way. “

“ somehow, without me even realizing it, you became so, so important… the most important part of my life. “

“ i was broken, again and again, melted down, remade, reforged, until nothing remained of who i’d been before. “

“ all of your pretty words cannot convince me there is a shred of beauty left in that vile, putrid wreckage you presume to call a heart. “

“ they shattered you apart, rebuilt you from the shards. and, now, when you look in the mirror… you can’t even tell who you used to be. “

“ you deserve so much more than these jagged pieces…  these shards of what i used to be. because, in the end, they will only cut you down. “

[blcsscdson]

(from Dutch) "Do you think, your father would have been proud?"

That was... Quite the question. Jack wasn't going to question how in the hell his old Uncle Dutch was standing in front of him when he knew his Pa had had a hand in Dutch's death. Arthur and John's old journal confirmed that Dutch had died, otherwise Ross wouldn't have released Jack and his mother from whatever Government building they had them in. Jack shook his head to focus on the present, the strnge present where Dutch was standing on the porch of Beecher's Hope as if nothing had happened.

"I know my Pa wouldn't have liked me bein' an outlaw. Hell, my Ma would've shot me on the spot if she found out what I did. Uncle Dutch... How the hell are you here? And how did you find me?" Jack's hand hovered over his Pa's old Schofield, ready to shoot if need be.

[blcsscdson]

"Ain't that a nice way to treat your older brother? I sure as hell missed ya Gale." Jack replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he frowned at her smoking. Sure, he did it at times but he didn't expect she'd do it too. Call it the older brother instincts he'd somewhat buried deep down, he just didn't like her doing it, that's all.

'What happened to you all these years?' That was a loaded question. So loaded that it could've been a round in their Pa's old revolver, Jack could've played roulette with that round. He sighs. Should he tell her? Admit to his murder of Edgar Ross down in Mexico and then the years he lived down south? ... She deserved to know. After all, they were the last Marstons, and Jack was the last living member of the Van Der Lindes. They had no one but each other.

"I don't even know where to start... Remember that man? Edgar Ross?" He motioned for her to get closer so she could hear. While the years had passed, Jack was still cautious about talking of his murder. "I killed him. Killed him proper. Tracked him down to Lake Don Julio in Mexico and, well, he said some unkind things and we had a duel. After that I traveled further into Mexico, stayed there for a couple of years before headin' back home, back to Beecher's..." He'd never regret shooting down Ross, he just found it hard to talk about it to his little sister.

"I'm surprised you never came back, I got the ranch up and runnin' again. Like Ma and Pa would've wanted... You never met 'em, but Uncle Arthur and Uncle Hosea would've also loved to see the ranch up and runnin'."

-- @blcsscdson liked for a starter .

" my gosh . . . you still look awful , " gale muttered , exhaling a stream of smoke as she studied her older brother . the cigarette dangled lazily between her fingers , its glowing tip briefly lighting up the growing dusk .

she never could help being a little harsh with him . maybe it was habit . maybe it was the only way she knew how to show she cared . either way ;

she took another drag , narrowed her eyes , and added , " what happened to you all these years ? "

[blcsscdson]

"Luisa Fortuna." He repeats the name to make sure it stuck in his mind, the distinct lack of that Midwestern accent probably gave away that he knew Spanish. "My name's Jack. Jack Marston, miss." He was in Mexico, away from the Government, so there was little chance anyone would recognize that last name... Or so he hoped. He knew his Pa had been here before, he wrote as much in that old journal he'd gotten from Uncle Arthur, one that Jack had taken to writing in as well.

"Yes miss, a treasure map - " He was a bit surprised by her words but he chuckled nonetheless. "I know for a fact there's treasure out here, my late uncle Arthur and my Pa both found some treasure followin' maps like the one I got right here. So why shouldn't I find some?" though there was a hint of chasing stories, like the ones he read as a younger man.

Something worth dying for? He didn't even have something to live for, how woud he find something to die for? All them hopes had died, gone and buried like his family was. He sighed but turned to look at the setting sun, the hat and jacket he wore suddenly feeling heavier than they actually were. "That ain't so simple, miss. But thanks for the advice..."

'' did i catch you in the middle of something ? ''

The voice behind him catches him off guard. He just barely managed to not jump at the unexpected sound, that would have been embarrassing for the young gunslinger. He didn't recognize the voice, which in itself was strange, he had a good memory for people... "I'm sorry Miss, I didn't catch your name. Mind tellin' me? It'd be mighty unkind if I introudced myself and you didn't." He said with a hint of humor in his voice, he really didn't want to come off as threatening, not to a lady. Jack got up, dusted off his hands on his pants and tipped his hat to her.

"You didn't catch me doin' nothing, Miss. I was just followin' some of these old maps I found on some feller who was... Unkind to me. I decided to make sure they was real, that's all." It wasn't a lie, some fella had tried to rob him so Jack, being quicker on the draw, shot him first and found a supposed treasure map on his belongings. He was a curious yong man, so onwards he went to try and find the treasure.

[blcsscdson]

Jack in the inbetween years

[blcsscdson]

Trying to look all cool and mysterious while im walking to class but this is the shit playing in my headphones

[blcsscdson]

'' did i catch you in the middle of something ? ''

The voice behind him catches him off guard. He just barely managed to not jump at the unexpected sound, that would have been embarrassing for the young gunslinger. He didn't recognize the voice, which in itself was strange, he had a good memory for people... "I'm sorry Miss, I didn't catch your name. Mind tellin' me? It'd be mighty unkind if I introudced myself and you didn't." He said with a hint of humor in his voice, he really didn't want to come off as threatening, not to a lady. Jack got up, dusted off his hands on his pants and tipped his hat to her.

"You didn't catch me doin' nothing, Miss. I was just followin' some of these old maps I found on some feller who was... Unkind to me. I decided to make sure they was real, that's all." It wasn't a lie, some fella had tried to rob him so Jack, being quicker on the draw, shot him first and found a supposed treasure map on his belongings. He was a curious yong man, so onwards he went to try and find the treasure.

[blcsscdson]

I was thinking a lot about how his character model’s nose has been visibly broken and never set right, and I would like to gently hold him.

[blcsscdson]

junior my beloved

haven’t drawn in a bit because of Life stuff i know some things is wonky

[blcsscdson]

i will travel far beyond the path of reason take me back to eden TAKE ME BACK TO EDEN - sleep token

portrait sketch because i hurts

[blcsscdson]

[blcsscdson]

Something possessed me