bleached-brain

[bleached-brain]

stalks you (romantically)

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🖤 This is Shadow. Shadow is a spaz. 🖤

[bleached-brain]

my pronouns are: creature/abomination

[bleached-brain]

it's not your fault that you have a hard time trusting others.

it's not your fault that you have a hard time trusting others.

[bleached-brain]

You don't know what it's like to see the pain in a loved one's eyes while you're aware you're in a psychotic phase and you have to be honest about thinking about going inpatient by tomorrow's appointment...

Literally... Because no meds to help. No weed to help.

[bleached-brain]

Listen, I might be coming off as pissed today, but I never usually get pissed. I'm just so fucking tired of people claiming to want to love me and take care of me and they always fucking hurt me and my mental health in the long run.

I am at the point where I will lay in my bed and pout and stare at a wall because fuck socializing. Fuck sleeping. FUCK smiling. FUCK having friends. FUCK living an exciting life.

No one will let me have one because I'm not worth it.

[bleached-brain]

[bleached-brain]

"I'm sorry."

Specify which part you're sorry for. Was it the broken promise on my computer? Was it for... Not working enough because we're scraping the bottom of the barrel? Is it for guilt tripping me throughout this entire year?

Please specify what you're fucking sorry about.

[bleached-brain]

a girls head should never hurt her and yet here i fucking am -_-

[bleached-brain]

[bleached-brain]

Half a day sober and I think I'm going to just break down crying randomly. Being so numb and bored is actually a very uncomfortable feeling for me and there's no way to describe chronic boredness other than torture.

[bleached-brain]

reblog if you are your url

[bleached-brain]

The calm feeling of wandering through an old and empty bookshop ♡

[bleached-brain]

Hobbies I really want to take up/try out:

Collecting horror movies on a hard drive, organizing them by my rating system, and write reviews on them

Start a podcast on a tumblr blog because free uploading of files

Taking up recreational dance/choreography in order to exercise, express myself, and learn K-Pop dances from memory

Videography and creating edits so that I can create a virtual diary/vloggish thing

Scrapbooking and a creative journal where I can do mixed media art and snoke weed while doing so.

Study political science independently to form my own opinion about my political standing (I'm a leftist, but know nothing beyond that) as well as political history in the world, causing me to analyze other forms of governments and such

Collect cool lighters, knives, and mugs because in all honestly, lighters help with being stoned, knives are nice for display and protection, and mugs because I am a raging coffee/tea addict

Interior decoration so my house can be a welcome and comforting space for any being

Learn how to do my own nails and hair and potentially make money doing them

Thrift store dolls and upcycle them into my own creations

[bleached-brain]

Fuck you streaming fuck you subscriptions fuck you cloud love you cds love you mp3s love you actual media I can actually own

[bleached-brain]

Great news! The most manipulative, unsympathetic, mean-spirited, tone-deaf person you know is majoring in psychology

[bleached-brain]

Maybe I just needed Tumblr to vent a bit because I just.... Get annoyed with my brain. I have to actually think about what social interactions and situations I can handle. Because when you deal with eating issues and have people suggest something that triggers you, you have to fucking change it up.