bleefinburtle - Tumblr blog

[bleefinburtle]

[bleefinburtle]

[bleefinburtle]

[bleefinburtle]

The joy of spending quarters is greater than free money that must be spent via card

[bleefinburtle]

(Me in 2082 telling kids what life was like in the 2000s) "It was called the five dollar footlong, people used to sing songs about it"

[bleefinburtle]

My blood pressure is so high, if I got a paper cut I could pressure wash a house

[bleefinburtle]

I love salt SOOOO much. My body is full of so much salt. If I were to die on the highway snow would never adhere to the road ever again

[bleefinburtle]

If you see a car identical to yours in the parking lot, you have to park next to them. it's the law

[bleefinburtle]

If I was hanging on the wall I'd be singing take me to the river

[bleefinburtle]

I know about pufferfish. They're round. And that's a pufferfact!

[bleefinburtle]

I have a blender but I don't even use it to blend anything I just turn it on sometimes to watch it go

[bleefinburtle]

I hate chekovs gun because that's not how real life works. Not everything is going to be prefaced by something earlier. Not everyone's gonna tell you about the genie

[bleefinburtle]

Economy's been tough. I can't afford any gas to flabber

[bleefinburtle]

[bleefinburtle]

Thankfully my fears are far too abstract to manifest as a physical entity

[bleefinburtle]

Well, you lose some you lose some.

[bleefinburtle]

Why yes I hate many things. Dust, the concept of entropy, vandals, the shrieking orb, repetition, repetition irony, repetition...