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At the vet’s office

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the face you make when you jump on the counter and shatter an entire bottle of balsamic vinegar glaze all over the kitchen floor but you’re just a little baby boy and you don’t wanna get in trouble

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if any of my follwers are fathers with daughters learning how to cook i have a great reaction image for you

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choosing to allocate spoons to hanging out and having a good time at the cost of perfectly completing all your work is not a failing it is in fact an act of survival. “too sick to work = too sick to play” is in fact ableist bullshit that you don’t have to buy into. and the fact that leisure time is treated like a privilege is a fucking travesty

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[goes back in time to caveman times but a neolithic hunter-gatherer very clearly recognizes the sound of a grindr notification on my phone]

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finally got another page done for ross and tim, drew this as a cool down I guess

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the male womb is just located deeper in the man. uou have to try harder

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I like to keep an eye out for bumper stickers whenever I'm on a walk. Here are a few of my favorites

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''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments

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When carrie bradshaw said your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing

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anyone else think its dope how applying to jobs is intentionally designed as like a humilation ritual where you degrade yourself like a slimy worm both physically and mentally for crumbs

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In honor of Ozzy Osborne, the thing I think of him the most in relation to, and probably a top five tweet, to me

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Give a man a leaf and he will eat it. Teach a man to leaf and he will go away

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