blindhim - Tumblr blog

[blindhim]

would  you  still  love  me  if  i  told  you  about  the  monsters  i  need  to  sing  to  sleep  every  night ?  if  you  understood  the  way  i  need  to  tiptoe  across  my  own  mind  so  i  can  fall  asleep  before  daylight ?  if  you  knew  where  the  nightmares  came  from,  if  you  saw  my  scarred  soul,   would  being  with  me  terrify  you ?

#𝐊𝐇𝐎𝐙𝐌𝐎𝐇 — stilinski twin oc, established 2013. low activity, mutuals only, 18+.

[blindhim]

someone: that's mean

me: i am mean

[blindhim]

[blindhim]

*actually cares very deeply but acts like an asshole*

[blindhim]

(x)

[blindhim]

➼ Dylan O’Brien as Jimmy Malone in High Road | 5/?

[blindhim]

[ ID. ] derek ; scartissuexx​

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    Cosmo felt his heart flutter in response to Derek's claims, that all he could need was his mouth. Cosmo thought of pressing his lips against Derek's cock, thought about it filling his mouth, thought about the taste, the weight, the thickness, thought about what look would be on Derek's face if he ever got the chance to deepthroat him like he wanted.    “    .  .  .  want  it  —  want  you,  want  you,  want  —    ”    he couldn't stop saying it. The words spilled past his lips like a mantra, over and over as he shifted to raise himself up just enough to feel Derek fill him up more and more with every touch. Derek leaned into his hand and Cosmo groaned again. He traced his thumb over the shell of his ear and nodded eagerly,    “    you  can  fuck  me  whenever  you  want.    ”

Cosmo shuddered as Derek pressed his lips against his mouth again, brows furrowed at how brief the touch was and he chased after him, leaned up, wrapped his fingers around the back of Derek's neck and tried to pull him back towards him. He was hungry. He felt starved and as if Derek were the only thing that could satiate him. So intense was the feeling of wishing to devour and be devoured that Cosmo couldn't think of anything else. Derek's first rough thrusts sent Cosmo into a arch with sharp gasps and jolted groans, wincing from both pleasure and pain as brows knitted together and his grip around the back of Derek's neck tightened.

         He was losing it. His whole world seemed to shift until all he could think about or feel or want was Derek. The weight of him above him, the feeling of his hands on his hips, the feeling of him filling him up, the sound of his voice, of his eyes on him. Cosmo felt himself twitch as Derek assured him that the feeling he had was mutual. He felt hot, his skin, his stomach, his chest, so hot he thought he might be burning but damn if it didn't feel good.

The faster and harder that Derek fucked him the more intense the feeling of him felt. Cosmo's hands dropped to where Derek's hands were on his hips, fingers digging just slightly into his wrists, he wanted him. He wanted all of him.    “    all  of  you  .  .  .  i  want  all  of  you,  all  of  you  —    ”    Cosmo's pupils were blown wide as he met Derek's red eyes again,    “    p  —  please,  derek  .  .  .    ”    He leaned his head back, baring his throat as he lost all sense to even try and control what left his mouth.

[blindhim]

pretty  sure  cosmo  has  oppositional  defiance  disorder.  or  at  least  borderline  oppositional  defiance  disorder  since  he  can’t / never  feels  the  impulse  to  defy  his  father.  more  thoughts  at  11.

[blindhim]

[ ID. ] jason ; jasonbrenner·

     he’s pretty sure there’s no way at all to avoid stiles’ anger, even with a heartfelt apology (which, let’s be clear, he wouldn’t get). there was no real way to avoid it, and in truth he’s not even sure he wants to avoid it. he didn’t get punished by stiles often, if ever, and some part of him wants it to happen. always chasing some form of punishment, always so sure it’s normal.    “    but  i’m  not  sorry.    ”    a pause.    “    and  it  will  happen  again.    ”

     cosmo snorted, despite knowing that he shouldn’t and that the more he waved off jason’s apparent rebellion against authority, the more jason was likely to mouth off, he couldn’t help but find it funny.    “    i  know  that,  but  you’re  supposed  to  be.    ”    cosmo huffed. growing up, he had tried to learn where the line between a bad attitude and a bad person was and for the most part, it all lay in the appropriate level of remorse.

    “    okay,  look,  hear  me  out.  even  if  you’re  not  sorry  and  you  know  you’ll  do  the  same  thing  again,  people  react  better  when  you  try  and  be  apologetic  and  when  people  react  better,  the  happier  they  are.  the  happier  they  are,  the  easier  your  life  will  be.    ”

[blindhim]

[ ID. ] jason ; jasonbrenner·

    maybe swearing is definitely a bad idea, especially at teachers that’d likely call his dad, but jason’s got no regrets. it felt good to let his emotion out like that, felt good to have a bit of an outburst without any danger coming out of it. jason can’t help but laugh a little, adrenaline high after standing up to an authority figure.    “    i’m  in  trouble.    ”    that much he was definitely sure of.    “    dad  will  be  mad.    ”

     swearing at teachers was always a temporary victory, cosmo remembered the long lectures he had gotten the first time he had mouthed off at a teacher, but the look on jason’s face made it difficult for cosmo to bother trying to care about that. for a kid that spent the majority of his time passively following along, cosmo was happy that he had it in him to stand up for himself.  jason laughed, and cosmo laughed with him.    “    oh,  he’s  definitely  gonna  be  mad.  but  here’s  what  you  do,  you  just  say  ‘ i’m  sorry.  i  understand  i  shouldn’t’ve  said  it,  it  won’t  happen  again. ’.    ”

[blindhim]

jason :  * swears * cosmo :  haha  nice stiles :  you are gROUNDED cosmo :  oh  man,  i  really  read  this  wrong  huh

[blindhim]

[ ID. ] jason ; jasonbrenner·

              encouragement is unexpected, but only adds fuel to the fire. smug smirk before he’s simply turning and walking away, taking cosmo’s hand and dragging him with him. he knows he probably shouldn’t be swearing at teachers, but he was encouraged now so he sees no problems with it.

     there was a part of him that knew that encouraging jason to cuss out his teachers was likely going to get him into trouble, but cosmo was just happy that jason was asserting himself. even if it was to a teacher. cosmo made an effort to fight down the grin on his lips as he noticed jason’s smug smirk, gripped jason’s hand back and let the boy lead the way out.    “    oh  man,  i’m  in  trouble.  but  that  was  nice.    ”    he said, and once they were well out of earshot, cosmo laughed.

[blindhim]

[ ID. ] jason ; jasonbrenner​

“fuck that.” a pause, short yet contemplative. “and fuck you.”

          “    .  .  .  you  heard  him.  fuck  you.    ”

[blindhim]

ALTERED  CARBON  SENTENCES ↳↳  not accepting ( @stoicis​ / nora  mikaelson )

❝ i’m  afraid  i  had  no  choice  in  the  matter. ❞

          “    oh,  bullshit.    ”    cosmo’s voice was sharp as a razor blade and it cut like one. he didn’t care. he was tired, and he was angry. two things guaranteed to make a foul boy like him even fouler and there was no stiles, no father, no scott mccall to stop him from speaking his mind. no quiet whispers in the back of his head asking him ‘what would stiles do?’ or ‘what would scott say?’, no guiding light in the dark that could show him how to react, how to behave, how to CARE. and when cosmo didn’t care, he was an ugly, cold, vindictive bastard.

     “    everyone  has  a  choice.  sometimes  they’re  shitty  fucking  choices  but  they’re  choices  and  you  chose  wrong.    ”    cosmo’s upper lip curled back in a snarl as he spoke, anger making him sneer, making him feel like his skin was too tight for his body. if he had wanted to be honest with himself, it wasn’t just nora that bothered him. it was this place, it was the bite of the world that he had never wanted to be a part of. he was tired of being clawed at, chewed up, swallowed and spat back out. it wasn’t nora’s fault ― not really, but she had the unfortunate luck to be the final nail in the metaphorical coffin of cosmo’s short fuse.

          “    you  witches.  always  thinking  magic  is  going  to  solve  all  your  problems  but  it  just  makes  everything  worse.    ”

[blindhim]

WHICH  TIME  OF  DAY  ARE  YOU  ?

―  5 AM

you’re  a  lost  soul,  like  streetlights  in  the  suburbs  or  midnight  thunderstorms  or  old  90′s  songs.  you’re  hard  to  read  because  you  keep  things  to  yourself.  your  heart  can  feel  like  a  permanent  liminal  space  like  a  train  station  at  5am.  you’re  probably  nocturnal  because  you  find  that  darkness  makes  you  want  to  write  and  paint  and  do  things  you’re  usually  nonchalant  about.  you’re  always  looking  for  things  that  make  you  feel  alive,  and  probably  identify  with  lonely  neon  cities  and  80′s  aesthetics.  few  know  it,  but  you’re  a  treasure  trove  of  wisdom,  kindness  and  imagination.

tagged  by :  @griimhilde tagging :  @stoicis ( nora ),  @softsurvivor,  @scartissuexx​,  @mieczlw​,  @ask-alicelockwood​,  @wildlynaiive​ ( nellie ),  @volatilehearted​

[blindhim]

RESCUE / RESCUED  SENTENCES ↳↳  not accepting ( @ask-alicelockwood​ )

“ i’m  okay  .  .  . ” 

          cosmo held alice’s face in his hands. his hold light and gentle as he examined the bruises and the cuts but her eyes were clear, conscious and alert. still, the words that slipped from her parted lips only caused the tension in his shoulders to grow. there was a tightness around the edges of his eyes and the corners of his mouth when he forced alice to meet his eyes, an uncharacteristic intensity to his dark eyes that seemed to reflect the dangers that lurked in all dark things.

“    who  did  this ?    ”    alice was no pushover. she was as skilled a fighter as they came, and she had the added bonus of being a werewolf, but something had gotten to her and that something, or someone, was going to pay for it.