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i wish i was pretty





#lives with being ugly forever#i know there's nothing for it i just have to learn to not care so much. but fuck it's so hard and embarassing#and lonely
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its 2:30 in the fucking morning and my brother and father are up being loud as fuck and the light in the bathroom next door is on so its lighting my whole room up through the curtains and the ventilator is on too it's this annoying loud hum that can be heard from any point in the house and i'm right next to it and my father's stupid fucking radio is playing at unreasonable volumes those inconsiderate assholes is it too fucking much to be quiet at night do those stupid unemployed fucks not understand i have work in the morning what if i nuked this fucking house
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not to be a huge fucking pussy but god it's gonna take me a long time to get over my chipped tooth. it's hardly noticable but i can feel the broken edge if i run my tongue over it.
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don't ever put me in a situation with people involved
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my mummy wants me to die-! i hate being the only fucking bitch who has to believe in themselves. literally no one is on my side (yeah thats partially my fault teehee) its just me out here. not even joshing my own mother doessss want me to die. sigh. whats a guy to do
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i hate being the typa mf who cries so easily and for so long i feel like a stupid fucking retard
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i should kms. im too stupid and useless to keep living
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it's been one of those weeks pass me the thinness of my life quote
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i musn't kill myself-! i must complete my assessment first-! then i will allow myself to be gored through the chest-!
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who up feeling immeasurably teeth clenchingly frustrated with the state of everything all hours of the day
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might be really petty and shitty of me but it makes me feel satisified and safe when i deem people to be "uglier" than me.
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i think im going to fucking kill myself today everything fucking sucks and everyone really has it better than me i fucking hate hate hate it why isn't it ever like that for me why am i so fucking hideous why do i have to exist like this i am going to tear my eyes out
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the truth is i am a huge worthless piece of shit, so there really aren't any considerable cons to killing myself. in fact there are several pros. im not being self deprecating; that is the objective fact.
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oh my god my face is so fucking fat i look like a pig
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