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The nights are the hardest. When the whirl of what seemed like unending tasks finally ends and when I’m alone in bed holding only a piece of clothing that once was owned by you, the feeling of emptiness in my chest keeps growing and growing until I let myself fall asleep, my cheeks wet. This kind of pain was something I never thought of but I choose to go through this when in the end it means I’ll have you. 120518-9:59p

A night full of darkness. 

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Dear everyone who is currently working on a Thing, whatever that Thing may be,

Good luck with the Thing. You can do the Thing. You will do the Thing. You just have to do the Thing.

Best wishes,

Someone who is also doing a Thing

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My heart has been very heavy over the state of the world recently. Please, please, please, be an ally. Today, Tomorrow, Always.

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My job requires me to face different kinds of people. I tell people around me, I’m always scared and nervous to do so but truth is, it excites me. I love meeting fellow fresh graduates and seeing them as hopeful, ambitious and grateful as I was when I was looking for a job. I love seeing experienced men and women that have been in different industries for years, and are looking for greater opportunities. I love seeing kindness in the eyes of old people when they give me their applications, asking for an opportunity to work just so they can provide something for their family. We meet different kinds of people everyday and I love that my job makes me at least know a little about these people’s stories.

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It doesn’t happen like that. You don’t just wake up one day and find that everything has worked itself out. You must get out of bed, morning after morning, and make a conscious effort to control the circumstances of that given day. You must learn to handle your issues with grace because you respect what they are attempting to teach you. You must drown your insecurities slowly, one self-realization at a time. You must allow yourself to feel the fear bubbling just beneath your skin but you must never allow it the satisfaction of crippling you; grit your teeth and march on. You see, they never tell you how hard these things will be. This fight to reclaim yourself is not easy or straightforward but, my god, is it necessary. 

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Mountains🗻 IG | Twitter | Buy me a coffee ☕

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You’re beautiful, even with your acne.

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me standing 3 feet away from the mirror not wearing my glasses in dim light: wow… my skin looks so good

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Day 3 of my Acne Journey (September 27, 2018)

At Day 3, it was my first day using toner and face mist. The toner makes a big difference for my face. It removes dried pus and dried blood from my pimples, dead skin around it, and of course the “deeply seated dirt” that can’t be removed by soap only (as what they claimed). The face mist on the other hand only makes me feel refreshed after I spray it on my face, but other than that I don’t see anything else that it does. It says it moisturizes the face but I think the toner already does great for that. I will still continue using it because it has aloe vera which is very beneficial. Maybe I just don’t see how it helps now but I’m still hoping I’m getting its benefits. I will continue using both products. I like them both!

No picture for today because I got busy. I gotta say though, the swelling of my acnes lessened so much. I think it’s because of the vitamins (Conzace), I’m not sure. I’m very happy about it!

I’ll post a photo tomorrow!

List of products that I now use/take:

1. Conzace (the vitamin)

2. Maxipeel Micro-exfoliant Soap

3. Nivea MicellAIR Acne Clear

4. Aloe Vera Face Mist

I also just started to use tissues when I wipe my face dry because it’s cleaner than towels.

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When I was training to be a battered women’s advocate, my supervisor said something that really blew my mind:

“You can always assume one thing about your clients; and that is that they are doing their best. Always assume everyone is doing their best. And if they’re having a day where their best just isn’t that great, or their best doesn’t look like your best, you have to be okay with that.”

Any now whenever anyone in my life, either a friend or a client, frustrates me, disappoints me, or pisses me off, I just tell myself They are doing their best. Their best isn’t that great today, but I have days where my best isn’t that great either. 

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Update: 2nd Day Using Maxipeel Micro-exfoliant Soap and Taking Conzace (September 26, 2018)

One important rule with controlling acne that’s always overlooked or disregarded is touching the face or the acne itself. I always try to practice this ever since my dermatologist before told me the importance of it. Since my face and acne have been drying that caused my face to peel around the acne area, it’s been hard to practice that. I don’t see any significant changes yet at day 2.

Today, I bought Nivea MicellAIR Water Acne Clear (toner/makeup remover) and Aloe Vera Face Mist from Watsons which I will be using every after I wash my face. I also got Sunblock QuickFX which I will be using every time I go out.

I used the Nivea MicellAIR Water Acne Clear (toner/makeup remover) and Aloe Vera Face Mist tonight after I washed my face. I was surprised that the toner did really well despite not having alcohol in it. In my opinion, that makes it so much better than Eskinol. Eskinol is also a good toner though because it healed my mild acne almost avyear ago but I had to stop using it for a while when I learned that alcohol is very bad for the face, it has also lightened my dark spots before. Let’s see if Nivea MicellAIR can do that! I noticed it also melted the pus and dried blood on my acne which I like because I don’t like the way those look on my face but that made my acne bleed again (or was it because i was scrubbing the cotton too hard on my face? hehe)

I also liked the Aloe Vera Face Mist although it has alcohol (but I really wanted to try the product!). Aloe Vera is known for the benefits that they can give us. Spraying it on my face feels so refreshing.

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Jar of Sweets

Because more importantly, you deserve it ~

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In the context of Philippine culture, the Tagalog word kilig refers to the feeling of excitement due to various romantic situations. There is no exact equivalent English term for kilig.

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My family are indifferent of my relationship with my boyfriend, and it’s just funny how they’d rather stalk him on social media than ask me. I still love them unconditionally 🤷‍♀️

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Pages from Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey that made me think of my love.

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F O R T I T U D E   X   G R A T I T U D E

Please like or reblog if you’re using/downloading ~

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you have made so much more progress than you realize. you will get past these bumps in the road, the bad days, the heartbreaks, and find you are stronger than you were before.