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Resilience in the Dark University Amidst the Pandemic

One day, I woke up in the morning, I looked at what could be seen outside the house while I was having coffee, instead of children who were playing, I saw a group of people called frontliners. I forgot that this was the beginning of the pandemic, so I suddenly remembered how my college life amidst the pandemic situation.

A few months ago, since the pandemic came, the results of qualified and waitlisted students of the university have come out. I am one of the waitlisted students enrolled in the bachelor of arts in a journalism course at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines Sta. Mesa Manila. It is impossible to get out of my mind how can I keep up with the temporary mode of learning during the pandemic. I think that college life wouldn’t give me good experiences during the pandemic.

I overthink badly because I was far from the university I was enrolled. I cannot choose the modular and had to wait for a long for the modules then, I can’t also choose the online mode of learning because I do not know how to get along with my android phone and internet connection. Thanks to God because before the final choice of mode of learning, unexpectedly my parent buys a laptop even though it was only secondhand and of course, for the internet connection I had a pocket Wi-Fi which 100 pesos load was enough for one week.

I accept the fact that my first school day will be experienced via online mode. It’s hard for me to use a laptop because I have no idea how to use it properly: I was confused about how to join the online class without touching anything that would distract the class, and I don’t yet know how to do assignments, activities, workshops, and more.

When it comes to listening to a discussion, there is a time I cannot understand the flow of the discussion. ‘’Do you have any questions about the lesson?’’ a professor said in the class. I am thinking about if I will unmute myself or not but I chose to be unmuted. I prefer to do some research about the lesson instead of asking my professor.

The struggle regarding internet connection and power breakdown has existed. My sobbing will be heard sometimes due to having this kind of problem. ‘’Why are you crying?’’ my younger sister said. ‘’Don’t mind me, focus on your modules,’’ I replied.

It is difficult for me to balance the role of sister, brother, mother, father, and student inside the house but I continue to confront the challenges in my life. I have many roles because my mother is an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), my father is in Manila to work as a barber, my oldest brother is on Tagaytay, and I have three younger siblings.

I cannot decide what kind of mode of learning I will be chosen but with the help of my parent I was able to think of my choice and it was online mode. I save 100 pesos load weekly to attend online classes. I accepted any kinds of problems caused by the pandemic. The tears and anger were there but my resilience was still outstanding due to whatever situation existed. I believe that my hardships will end whatever challenges came. I will continue studying hard because my future and dream for my family depend on it.