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drew up some Sabriel! im just so happy that Gabe is alive

tbh i can never stick with one hairstyle for gabe lol

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!!!!! This post contains mentions of therapy and past traumatic events of mine, so read at your own discretion!!!!!

Kelley from a couple asks ago chimin in on a sideblog and I 100% agree with everything above--if you're in a position where it's safe and accessible for you to speak to a therapist or psychiatrist about this please do!! I'm not in a position where I can go either (last therapist was super aphobic + fatphobic to me so I'm anxiety-touchy and I don't have insurance rn) and like... contrary to what most fictional accounts would tell you, most therapists who make mistakes are misinformed, not malicious, and it's perfectly normal if one doesn't "get you"! (Therapy's actually what I'm going into college for, and I see this firsthand! Plenty of my classmates would make fantastic marriage counselors but terrible children's counselors--it all depends on the person and where they focused their study!)

(Note that a lot of what I talk about here is most relevant to people who dissociate alongside their delusions/hallucinations, as they go hand in hand for me a lot of the time due to trauma)

But as for some things that help me in the meantime (that weren't mentioned above)....

1. If you can identify anything specific that triggers spiralling/delusions, try to avoid interacting with it if you can. I know that probably sounds obvious, but I needed to hear it a bunch of times for it to sink in for me. Certain flavors of discourse actually trigger paranoia spirals for me, so I had to take the time to like....give myself permission to disengage. A lot of times you can feel really pressured to Face Your Fears™, but when it comes to triggers and other really jarring emotional reactions, trying to push through it can do more harm than good if you aren't emotionally prepared for it. That's where a therapist can come in with cognitive-behavioral therapy or gradual exposure therapy or something like that. In the meantime, if you aren't obligated to engage with things? Don't. Get XKit and block tags, unfollow blogs that only post content that upsets you, and give yourself permission to disengage. Even someone who doesn't have to deal with delusions doesn't have the energy to wade through all the shit that we're subjected to.

But when it comes down to things you can't avoid (triggering classes, family members, and such), there's three main things I lean on:

A. Social support, social support, *please* find some social support if you can. I know that's not often realistic, but even something just as simple as hopping in a new Discord and listening to different people can help you get through a trying experience. I took a psych course with an ableist professor who set me off a lot by talking about how various symptoms I exhibited would keep me from keeping a job. You know how I made it through that class? I shit-talked her for an hour straight to whoever would listen instead of paying attention. Was it ever relevant to the delusions that she triggered in me, that I could be perfect and still be rejected for no good reason? Absolutely not. Did it help me hold on long enough to get out of that situation? Yep! Even if that class wasn't an easy A, I would have taken the whatever-the-fuck grade to just get out of there. Also she can go fuck herself, bc ya boi has held down a job for 18 months and counting.

(Side note, if you're in college, make sure to check if you can transfer classes if you're in a situation like this!)

B. Grounding exercises! They're typically pushed as something Only For People With PTSD but honestly? I find them incredibly helpful for when I'm having unreality/depersonalization episodes. Everyone has their own ways of grounding, and you can find plenty if you look online, but I prefer the 5-4-3-2-1 method. I would *not* recommend that one for specific auditory or visual hallucinations, seeing as it involves counting down various things you can see/hear/touch/etc.

C. The rubber-duck method. This is actually borrowed from computer science, but I use it for taming my hell brain as well! In computer science, when you run into some absolutely ridiculous bullshit that a program is working, you explain the process of how the program works to a rubber duck, stuffed animal or random bestie who doesn't mind you ranting (thanks @the-metatron-speaks and @lowerarchy especially for doin that). The point is that more often than not, halfway through you'll see exactly where the logical mistake is, and probably rant for another minute about how simple it is. This is how I dismantle delusions that have to do with facts of my existence! For example: I feel like I'm annoying and no one likes me > I feel this way because I talk excessively about my hyperfixations and trauma > I feel that that behavior is annoying because people often ghost me after I do it > the first statement can't be true because my close friends have told me that they find my rambling endearing and not annoying > the people who did ghost me for it probably had other stuff to worry about or were just being rude > I'm glad I have friends now who listen to me, and since they like me "no one likes me" can be proven false. And then at that point I knock on my friends' dms with lovepost memes because it's healing. Definitely not a method that works for everyone, but if you're comforted by cause-effect logic I find it worth learning to do.

D. Give yourself permission to fuck up. We're all human, we all fuck up, and trying to be perfect WILL kill you. You're going to say dumb shit or fail a class or accidentally break a rule sooner or later, and **that's okay.** Letting go of that expectation is *huge.* Even letting go of a part of it can do wonders. That's a big part of how I'm starting to break down a lot of the baggage I carry, honestly. Most of my mental energy, even last year, was going to juggling everything--being a perfect student, a perfect child/caregiver, a perfect friend to everyone, and it was draining me down to nothing. Think of it like having a backpack for a long trip. You *could* carry everything, but it'd make your back hurt so much it'd get in the way of you enjoying your trip. So instead, you can unpack even tiny things that aren't that important--for me, it was not forcing myself to read vent messages I didn't have spoons for, not beating myself up for eating the way I do, not expecting to be perfect in a class for a subject I've never studied. Even taking a handful of papers you don't need out of that backpack means you can spend that much longer enjoying your surroundings.

....okay, yeah, that one was kinda cheesy, but when all your close friends are poetry/literature geeks, it kinda happens.

TL;DR: Give yourself permission to avoid things that trigger you, talk to people who understand you, and remember that you're never gonna be perfect so it's better to focus on doing your best on what's important to you.

Hey ik this is probably a weird ask but like, what should you do if you have had what is most likely considered psychotic episodes but they don't happen often enough for a doctor to do anything? I'm asking mainly bc the subject came up, and honestly I'd rather advice from someone who would understand it betrer than a therapist. Thanks if you answer, it's cool if you don't tho - Birdie (to scared off anon but I might send follow ups if wanted)

this is really hard to answer, ngl… but i will do my besti Would like to say, right off the bat, i would recommend going to a psychiatrist or therapist about this if possible. i know its scary and its not always possible (god knows i know that), but i dont want this to sound like im encouraging anyone to Not seek medical help when i have symptoms tho, bc im not treated atm, there’s… a few tips i have, at least. one of the things i do w hallucinations specifically is like… well, take pictures first of all and send them to friends or record audio and send it? just to see if They see it too. just so i Know its a hallucination. or sometimes i walk myself thru it like “ok if something was this close to ur face it would be blurry, ur farsighted remember?” sometimes that just. Helpsive also run things by people (i get paranoid super easy) to see what they think (tho make sure you do this with someone you trust bc you know, people can manipulate you)… this doesnt always work but sometimes i try to walk myself through things, like why do i think this? what is the evidence for this? is this really rational for me to believe? sometimes this doesnt.. work, naturally, bc delusions suck but sometimes it helps? for example i always sit on one side of the car bc we got into a car accident and it hit the other side and while i know it makes no sense, accidents can happen anywhere, sitting on that side makes me feel better. i slowly got past freaking out if i wasnt on that side by like… slowly asking myself why that is necessary for me and trying to find a way to work past it. and addressing it myself… or sometimes i snap out of delusions bc i realize something (like freaking out about a customer at work but then realizing suddenly Oh. We’re Closed Right Now). it doesnt always work tho, it just depends on How Strong it is in my experience. sitting not on the driver side of the car took me a while to get past ngl and that crash happened to me when i was like. 13. if that makes sense? and i find a lot of my stuff worsens at night… i sleep w my computer on (sorry to all those people on discord who think im online while im asleep LOL) so i can have some noise, and some light as well. somethin about pitch black darkness and silence makes me FREAK easy and sometimes just? having something helps. like sometimes i hear rustling in my house or my house is super silent at like 11am and i think maybe someones In The House And Killed People Or Is Going To Kill Me. so near my bed i have 2 hockey sticks and a sword bc like. it just makes me feel safer. those delusions arent Real, and they dont make sense, but having something to help just… helps, you know? it makes me feel less panicked if i dont feel helpless. i do that w carrying knives too, i feel less paranoid when i feel like im in control… and i think thats what mostly helps me, just the feeling that Im In Control, not my brain or my delusions. again, thats just the way i help myself personally, it probs doesnt work for everyone? i Do recommend trying to see someone if you ever can 100%, bc im not a professional and while this stuff can help manage symptoms, it cant cure them or even 100% ensure symptoms wont get the better of u

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GABRIEL (what can I add, he’s perfect ;u;)

7/365

Check out my Supernatural art blog with daily uploads!

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make a little birdhouse i̶n̶ for your soul

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quiet people piss me off

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Today’s Adventure Zone ruined me emotionally, I love Lup she’s perfect in every way I hope she knows I adore her

DO NOT REPOST TO OTHER WEBSITES

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Me, an Aziraphale kinnie: I love.. Crowley!! So muchfbfj........

The several Crowley kinnies following me:

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spotted: gay

IT'SSSSS SSSPOUSE LOVING TIME

@venus-of-the-hardsell @the-metatron-speaks

LOVE YOU!!

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it’d be a smart thing of me to do to actually put a link. https://discord.gg/uWt2NX6 

I know this is kind of a lowkey post but @fictionkinfessions can we get a bump? <3

so I remade my Fire Emblem kincord

hmu if you wanna join

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so I remade my Fire Emblem kincord

hmu if you wanna join

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The Angel Aziraphale from Good Omens here, looking for my dearest demon—or anyone, really! Please feel free to message me! If you’re not one of the Them, please be over 18 as I’m 24. Thank you dears!

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Hi @ that Aziraphale that said they'd adopt me, yes thank you. I accepted the kintype, and let me just say. Best dad, you were awesome and I hope you had a great life raising your Adam. He was a lucky kid to have you as a dad! -Seraphina Fell

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im crowley from good omens and im looking for other good omens kinnies uhhh im 18 so pls be 17+ also i dont care abt memories im just looking for ppl to talk to

! ! !

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shakespeare kins 🤝 the outsiders kins 🤝 the great gatsby kins ————> kinning in english class

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hey so i have this headcanon