blogtheshah

[blogtheshah]

"A child laughs when he's tossed in the air because he's assured you won't drop him. Whatever your hardship is, rest assured Allah's mercy will catch you."

– Shaykh Ahmad Musa Jibril حفظه الله

[blogtheshah]

A story

In the last few years I have been having issues with my wife. It went up and down like a yoyo. It finally culminated with her asking for a divorce. No matter what is going on I just can't bear to live without her. Instead of responding or being emotional about it, I kept my emotions in check and just worked towards salvaging whatever needs salvaging. Apart from our marital home, both of us also rented apartments. Hers is for her workshop and mine close to my place of work.

Being apart was causing havoc to our relations. Both sets of parents got involved and I was a wreck. In my moments of weakneses, at my lowest points I became a victim of scammers. You name he scam and I fell for it. Iwas hoping to save my marriage by doing something wonderful financially and was hoping some of those "opportunities" would come to something.

I pride myself of being fairly smart, but these scammers were far smarter, ruthless and could sense desperation. Too cut a story short, I lost all of my life savings, got debts up to my eyeballs, can't even pay anything except from my meagre pay. My pay was not meagre at first, but my colleague and my boss (someone I thought was my friend) reduced my pay and moved me out of the HQ.

I already joined with a lower pay and they just made my life miserable. Somehow they managed to sap my will to fight and I've been here for 9 years now. For a place I have worked for 9 years, I have very few people I can trust. Those I do have left for whatever pastures and those I did have turned their back on me for their own survival I guess.

So in summary, I had marital issues, I was scammed, I am having financial issues and I am also having work related issues. My parents are now worried about my financial situation. I have a tonne of debt that I need to settle. I need to settle various court orders that are now hounding me, haunting me and I just have no idea what to do next.

I am looking for ideas to add a quick buck monthly so I can reduce my debts. I don't want to rely on my salary alone.

With the scammers, I am afraid to answer any unknown callers who are possibly fromthe banks. They think I'm ignoring their calls when I'm just afarid. I need ideas how to make money and I can'tthink of any. Ironically in my other life I advice people and people seek my business advice.

[blogtheshah]

I had a chat with my wife the other day, what would I consider my greatest achievement? Truthfully speaking when my children started to potty train is something I'm really proud of. They were growing up and I no longer need to buy or change diapers! Yes!

[blogtheshah]

IG @amazinggardenideas

[blogtheshah]

Syukur Alhamdulillah. All praise to Allah. A very important prayer of mine has been answered. This is the key to everything. May all my prayers are answered. This is something that I have been praying for daily during and after my every prayer. Alhamdulillah it is answered during Syawal. May Allah continue to bestow his blessings on my family and I and bless all our initiatives , actions, aspirations.

[blogtheshah]

Lao-tzu

Seek not happiness too greedily, and be not fearful of happiness.

[blogtheshah]

I'm at the doctors again. My cough is still there but I don't think I need anti bionics anymore. Phlegm no longer green. The throat now itches and the cough happens early in the morning.

Had lunch with my Manager yesterday. Apparently my entire team is plagued with cough. Not just me. Just that mine have lingered for 2 weeks. And it's going to be a heavy week again.

Tonight celebrate parents' anniversary. The next day I have a management meeting. Then I need to return to KB to greet the SG Economic Ministry that evening. The next day is a meeting with the Prime Minister followed by Aidilfitri celebration with him.

Day after will be company Aidilfitri gathering and then I need to return to KB again for MB visit to Pasir Puteh and Aidilfitri celebration again.

[blogtheshah]

[blogtheshah]

I've finished the cough mixture. I've finished one of the anti biotics. The cold medicine also done, still coughing but I don't think I'm infected anymore. Phlegm is a different colour. Anyway the clinic called for a follow up, looks like I need to take another course of medicine.

On another note, apparently my weight loss is quite noticeable. Even my Manager noticed it. It said that the t-shirt I wore was one size too big. Loving it. I have even achieved my target of 90kg. Wonder if I can go down to 85kg. That will be ideal.

Tomorrow I will be rushing home to celebrate my parents' anniversary. We will be having dinner. The only time I have. Tomorrow afternoon I will be returning to KB. That night I will be greeting the Secretary General for the Economy MInistry. The next day the Prime Minister will be atttending a meeting with the Menteri Besar followed by an Aidilfitri celebration in Bachok.

I am quite exhausted with all the coughing and we will be having our own private Aidilfitri celebration in the office. Not too looking forward to it actually.

[blogtheshah]

Second day I’m on medical leave. Taken a bunch of medicine again. It was supposed to knock me out. It didn’t this time. Just coughing a lot. Doctor said I need to expel the phlegm to clear my lungs. He said I had pneumonia.

I need to cook lunch so I can take my medicine again. Coughing too much. I’ll write again later.

[blogtheshah]

Okay it was supposed to knock me out, and it did. I was out the whole afternoon barely able to open my eyes for Asar. I’m now waiting for Isya’ before I turn in again. I’ve taken a whole bunch of medicine that should be able to tackle my lung infection. That’s what is causing this irritating cough. So doctor gave me 2 types of antibiotics, 2 types of cough medicine, 1 for my lung infection and 1 for onset of asthma. I coughed too much that I started wheezing. He intend to arrest that. I need a good sleep so that I’m able to recover properly. Much to do in my present work and my thing on the side.

My brain is a little addled and foggy. Can’t really think properly. I hope I will recover quickly. It wasn’t a great end of Ramadan. It wasn’t great Aidilfitri. Could have been better. This week I will rush home just to celebrate my parents’ anniversary. Then I’ll rush back for PM visit. Then week after will be MB’s visit to Pasir Puteh. Wouldn’t do to be ill.

Later universe. Just waiting for the azan.

[blogtheshah]

Okay just back from the doctors. A bit more serious than I thought. I caught pneumonia. So was on neb just now. A whole load of medicine. I hope to take it and get knocked out. Need to rest properly and recover properly.

[blogtheshah]

Okay back in KB. Will have another go at the doctors shortly. Can’t allow this cough to continue. Let’s see if the medicine they prescribe will be more effective. The doctor I went to back home? No difference whatsoever. Okay need to get up and make breakfast.

[blogtheshah]

Okay I'm writing on board the plane while waiting the rest to board. For lunch I had my usual favourite, the Serai chicken rice. Can never change. I'm a creature of habit in that sense. The cough is still bothering me. Probably need to go to the clinic again. The medication they gave in KL wasn't effective. It did absolutely nothing. Well okay it did one thing, I no longer have a headache and I can pray properly again.

But the irritating cough, it disturbs my sleep. Ah that reminds me, need to get eggs and bread once I land. Looking forward to work again and meeting my team. Great team only the management is not that great. Yes I am part of the management. Quite a bit to do. PM coming to Kelantan on the 12 of this month. My parents will be celebrating their 59th wedding anniversary. I'll be flying in on Thursday and flying back on the 11th.

They have also expressed their desire to be with me in KB. I need to look at my calendar carefully so that I will be around for them.

I have been flying for so long. I've been travelling all the time. Privileged enough to travel from small and flying since I was 10. Flew all over Malaysia and some parts of the world. Flying KB-KL-KB? Far too often if you ask me.

[blogtheshah]

Being back home especially for Aidilfitri was good. A little downer that I wasn’t well. I haven’t fully recovered. Still plagued by the irritating cough. But at least the phlegm has improved. And what I am even happier is I have managed to control my weight even after Raya and even managed to bring it down further. For the first time ever in a very long time I’ve managed to bring my weight down to 90.5kg. My waist from 42 is now down to 38 or 39. In fact today I wore a size 38. My 42 can only be worn with a belt. It can easily come down without one.

Not sure what I’ll wear to the airport tomorrow. Going through security I need to remove my belt. Wouldn’t do for it to suddenly drop.

Anyway I’m now targeting my weight to reach 85kg. I’ll be comfortable then. Just under 3 months ago I could barely wear my 40. I was forever in my 42. The 38 was a dream seemingly unreachable. But today alhamdulillah I wore my 38. And my weight loss is noticeable. I’m incredibly pleased.

Okay sleeping time. Later universe.

[blogtheshah]

Due to return to my work in Kota Bharu tomorrow. Raya was okay but the downer was that i was ill and I still haven’t fully recovered. The irritating phlegm that triggers my cough is still there. But not as bad. At least I no longer have a headache.

I’ll write more later.

[blogtheshah]

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Happy 1st Syawal

It was a real struggle for me today. The irritating cough continued. The headache came and went. Normally I'm the first few at the mosque. Today I was one of the stragglers. I almost gave up going because a throbbing headache happened as I was getting dressed.

But Allah answered my prayers. And he allowed me to celebrate Aidilfitri starting with prayers. Then I still managed to celebrate at my parents place and met my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces.

I'm still coughing by the way. That hasn't stopped. But this is the worse ever. I could barely talk. I was waylaid with headaches. Half the time I was lying down in the guest room. I only came out when I was hungry.

But later I felt much better. Even managed to do a raya visit later that night.