blondieinabox

[blondieinabox]

There’s a couple bitches I’m finna fuck up fr and not think twice.

[blondieinabox]

It didn’t happen to me not in the way people define pain, not in the way that earns you a cast, a headline, or a scar stapled by someone with a degree, but I was there. I was there through the nights that never ended, through the silence that was heavier than any scream. I watched the storm swallow someone I love, and I stood in the rain beside them, soaked in it, shivering with fear I felt I wasn’t allowed to name. I held the pieces. I cleaned up the aftermath. I carried the weight when no one else bothered, and I swallowed my own breaking just to keep theirs from getting worse. I didn’t just see it I felt it. I absorbed it. It lives in me now, quietly and constantly, like a shadow that doesn't belong to my body but still follows me everywhere. And yet, because it didn’t directly happen to me, my brain and the world tells me I should be fine. That I’m lucky. That it wasn’t mine to feel. But trauma doesn’t always ask for permission. It doesn’t care whose name is on the event it only cares that your heart was open when the damage was done. So maybe I don’t have the right words or the cleanest explanation, but I do have the right to hurt. I have the right to grieve something I witnessed. And I’m learning that being a bystander to devastation doesn’t make the pain imaginary it just makes it quieter and maybe, for now, I’ll keep holding it gently, even if no one else sees it.

[blondieinabox]

Sylvia Plath, from a letter featured in The Letters of Sylvia Plath Vol. 1: 1940-1956

[blondieinabox]

Now I just want peace, and that's it.

[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

If anyone understood how ironic this was you’d laugh…

big fan of women covered in blood

[blondieinabox]

ehsan rasouli

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david van dartel

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[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

Acadia National Park | Mt. Desert Island, ME

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[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

[blondieinabox]

Ideal relationship: I'm good for you, you're good for me. We build. We grow. We flourish, and we let nothing stand the fuck in our way